The Girl from the Seam
by E.W.S. Miami
Summary: Book One - Takes Suzanne Collins's Hunger Games and tells the same story from the point of view of Peeta Mellark. It explains a lot of the back story about why Peeta is the way he is and how he came to fall in love with Katniss Everdeen. This is a re-published of the original that was removed for revisions.
1. Chapter 1

Introduction

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my own version of Suzanne Collins's Hunger Games. The whole idea of this book is to watch the same events that occurred in the book the Hunger Games, but tell it from the point of view of another character in the book.

The character that I have decided to share from the point of view is from the baker's son, Peeta Mellark. There are many things that I felt should be explained especially when it comes to Peeta intentions and why he is the way he is and how he falls in love with Katniss Everdeen, the girl from the Seam. Many of the back stories are taken from my own life and many of the lessons that I had learned along the way. My desire is that although the story is the same, that you can see a glimpse into the persona that I think is Peeta, and how it was molded by the people who were around him.

The whole series is about six books all written from the point of view from Peeta Mellark. It follows the three Suzanne Collins books and three after that takes into account what I believe is missing information from the ending of book three.

Thank you and now without further delay.

* * *

PART I

"THE GIRL WITH THE BRAID"

Chapter One

I open my eyes and just lay there staring at the wooden boards on the ceiling. The early morning sun light has started to creep through the window blinds. The air in the room has this stale dread around it; it feels like it isn't like any other day. I turn my focus from the ceiling to the only window in our room. From here I can see that the day looks so tiresome, that even the sky doesn't want it to be today. I don't think that anyone in the district wants it to be today, for today is the day of the reaping.

I slowly place my feet on the floor as to not wake up my two older brothers. It takes me a couple of minutes there looking at the ground to get off my bed, for the fogginess of my mind to finally clear. I could hear them both snoring just a couple of feet away. What do they have to worry about; one is old enough to not worry about today and other well, we probably won't talk about it anyways. We never do.

I find myself moving slower than usual, focusing on the little things trying to fool my mind into forgetting today. I focus on the things that you typically don't pay attention to, the creaking of wood below my feet as I walk or the smell of morning bakery bread that rise through the creaks of the floor boards.

The door is slightly opened and I can hear that there is movement downstairs. The knob is cool to the touch and it reminds of the one thought that I have every year on this day. It rattles in my mind, echoing the desire to just be free, just two more years, I think to myself that is all I need, if I can just hold on for two more years. That is what I shoot for since I am eligible for the reaping for two more years.

You become eligible for the reaping the day you turn twelve and the last year is eighteen. The year I turned twelve my name was entered once into the drawing for the reaping, and every year your name gets enter once, so the minimum number of times your name is in the drawing is seven. Most of us who are eligible for the reaping here in District Twelve do not have the luxury of only having our names in there seven times. With the constant food shortages, and the lack of work, most of live with the threat of not the reaping but of dying slowing of starvation, there is however the government sick way of giving you hope, for there is a provision that allows you to get food for a year with the condition of placing your name more times in the reaping.

There was the time when I was fourteen that I had to take the tessera or grain that they were offering, which cause my name to go into the reaping more times. So now at the age of sixteen my name is in the reaping nine times. There are others however who aren't so lucky and have to place their names more to help feed your family. You can place your name as many times as you want to help feed your family. There are rumors in the district where people that have their names in the drawing more than thirty times. I can hardly imagine how I would feel if I knew that each year my name was in there thirty times. Could you live your live knowing that your name was in for the reaping that many times, would there be hope or just a feeling of desperation? There are not that many people in District Twelve, even with the Seam, so odds are that one year your name will be called, that is of course until you age out.

That thought pops back into my mind, two more years. That is all I have to worry about, then finally I can take a breath for it feels that these five years I have been living my life holding my breath, waiting to exhale. My father can finally take a much need break from the worrying. That is how I find him sometimes pacing slowly back and forth in the kitchen. Today it seems was no different.

I walk through the hallway of our house and finally down the stairs. As I walk down to the kitchen, I see him walking slowly, back and forth. I never asked him if the pacing was because of the reaping. There was one time I overheard him speaking to my mother and he admitted that when I turn eighteen, all three of his boys will be safe, and he is counting the days until this happens. I smile at the thought.

I just have to hang one for two more years, at least for his sake.

There are no words today though, from him or me, and we just look at each other and know that by tonight we can sleep for another year without worrying. I wonder sometimes, if my mother worries about me the same way. She isn't a very caring mother, but I still love her just the same. Just like everything in District Twelve, she has been hardened by the experience of living under constant control of the Capitol.

One of the things that I try with all my heart is to not allow my life, my experience here in District Twelve change me into someone that has no joy, that has no hope.

There are days when I can still remember when I was five, the smiles she would give me. They are shadows of whom she is now, the scorn looks she gives, the yelling and the constant judging are all that I am now. But when I can, I remember those memories when things were simpler, and life hadn't become so hard. Those are the memories I hold onto.

Looking around at all the memories I have here in our house here in District Twelve, there is nothing that I would change about it. Our little two bedroom house is situated in the Square of District Twelve. It is where the shops of the district are. Everyone who has a business in the Square lives in the upper floor of their business. Many families have to squeeze into the two bedroom one bath house. Our family has lived in this bakery for as long as I can remember. It isn't much but our family gets by with whatever we don't sell that day. I don't know I guess I just got use to eating stale bread, or even burned bread; it really doesn't bother me anymore. The alternative of starving is much worst than eating burned bread.

We live in District 12, where we mostly produce coal for the country of Panem. The country of Panem has a Capitol which is where our government and president lies, and surrounding the Capitol is twelve districts that produce each a specific trade.

Our district has always produced coal for the Capitol, even in history books; our district has produced coal, so we learn in school all about coal. Most of the coal workers live in the outskirts of the district, nicknamed the Seam. People from the Seam are nice hardworking people that keep to themselves and hardly ever travel up to the Square. They just go to work and then home. Today is sort of a day off from work, and school for everyone in the district. Many people do not see the joy that comes from today being a day off, you don't see many people walking around going to the park or the meadow, you don't see many people at all. Today is a day that isn't cause for joy, it is cause for concern.

I hear a knock at the kitchen back door. I see him walk by me, and rustle my hair playfully. He takes a loaf of freshly made bread from the oven and walks over handing it to him. He sometimes does this, barter for fresh meat. I know this because most of our customers come through the front bakery door and they buy pastries and bread not meat for that is the butcher's job.

The rear kitchen door however is reserved for the hunters. It is for those who go beyond the fence of District Twelve and into the forbidden forest to hunt wild animals. Although it is illegal to poach from the surrounding woods, we still have people who are brave enough to go into the woods in search for food. I hear that he says "good luck" to the hunter and quickly closes the door. He motions to me to keep quiet about this and shows me the squirrel. I smile at him and he goes to begin to clean the squirrel. He cooks the squirrel meat in the oven, which only takes a couple of minutes.

We have a very good breakfast, squirrel and warm bread, before anyone wakes up. At this time, as the early sunlight comes on it is just me and my father at the kitchen table eating in silence.

We both hear the creaking of the wood as the upstairs begin to come to life. First I see my mother come downstairs and frown at my father.

"You know one day, you are going to get caught by the peacekeepers and then we will all be in trouble" She tells him.

"Not today," he interrupts her coldly.

"Always thinking of yourself and not protecting your family, your livelihood. Can you imagine what would happen if they didn't turn a blind eye to what happens around here?" She accuses him ignoring his request.

"What does it matter, really? Do you know what happens today? Have you the concept of what might happen to this family today?" He asks.

My mother can always be counted on not really thinking of the big picture. It isn't her fault really; she is just looking out for the family. Today however it is much more than that.

"Really what does it matter if we help each other? They are just kids trying to survive. The peacekeepers are sometimes involved in this dealing anyways." He says brushing her off.

"But it can change in a blink of an eye, one day they allow it, and another day they will have you shot for participating in it. Are you really that stupid?" She tells him.

"Well we are all dying anyways, some slowly, so really what does it matter when?" He tells her.

She walks by him giving a mocking tone. This has always been a constant argument in our family. The argument is always whether or not to help the hunters with trade. After it is illegal and if he is caught there a penalty for helping someone who commits a crime. They would have to answer to the peacekeepers of the district.

The peacekeepers are the ones who keep the laws of the Capitol from being broken. Sometimes I wonder if the peacekeepers make sure that we all starve inside the district and that everything that we produce goes to the Capitol. There are times when I don't even see the surrounding fence, the presence of the peacekeepers as protection from the world, but as a prison for us. Everyday I see a little bit of our District Twelve die, all the colors just seem to fade.

To escape the thought of dying inside, I would sometimes walk to edge of the fence and just stare outside, past the fence and into the forest. The colors just seem so much more alive when they are free. Looking at the signs on the fence 'caution electrified fence' I wonder if it is to keep us from leaving or from the animals from coming into the District. The chain link fence that supposedly was to be electrified, however it hardly ever is. You see we always have power outages in District Twelve, no one wants to say it, but everyone knows that it is to save power for the Capitol.

A slap on the back of my head jars me back into reality.

"Quit your day dreaming, make sure the display pastries are done before 12" my mother yells at me.

Leave it to my mother to always slap me back into reality when all I want is to live in the 'what if's' and the 'what could bes.'

Today a bunch of Capitol people would be arriving early to prepare for the reaping, and of course my mother sees this as an opportunity. Back when I was younger I always wanted to think that it was her way to win favor with the officials on reaping day, for my sake that I am not chosen in the drawing. But like everything in District Twelve, dreams slowly fade into reality and now see it as my mother's opportunity to sell pastries to officials.

This is a thought that I try not to focus on it as I frost the display cakes for the front of our store. I just lose myself in the thoughts of a life outside the district. The one place where I can be free is in my thoughts and dreams, so I focus on that, it keeps me from losing hope from becoming like the majority of people here. Today I think about my mother back when I was five, the smiles and the happiness, the times that we would spend playing games in the meadow near the seam. The meadow is a long way off in the Seam. The forest outside the fence, the way the light plays with the leaves, how peaceful it seems is perfect there. I can still picture it in my head after many years. I can still hear the crunching sound of my shoes on the gravel road as I walked.

My hand focuses on the cake and the frosting. I can see the roses that I have only seen in picture books at school and try to trace it out on the borders of the cake. We do not have many flowers in the District and all the designs that I place on the cake comes from memory. There once was a time when I saw a dandelion in the school yard. Today the dandelion will become my inspiration.

Inspiration is something that I try to draw off when I design the cakes. There are many things that inspire me, but whenever I think of something beautiful for the cakes I always think of her. Most if not everything in the bakery is an inspiration of her. I can still remember the last time I saw her. It was after this big argument I had with my mother. I had walked out of the bakery and just kept walking for what I thought was hours. Without even knowing I was almost at the edge of town. I had been so focused on the ground that I didn't see her, not until I looked up. That was when I saw her, walking towards "the hob," the girl with the braid. I sometimes see her walk by the bakery with her younger sister, always wanting to talk to her but never really getting the opportunity. That is what I tell myself but truthfully I am scare to talk to her. I imagine sometimes though what it would be like to talk to her. Those gray eyes, I tell you, I could just lose myself in those eyes.

I shake my head.

Enough daydreaming I think to myself, as the time quickly approaches; I hear the train whistle scream and this is a cruel way of keeping me grounded. I see the trains begin to come into town.

You could see everything from our little bakery that is located near the Justice building in the square. I can just barely make out the people coming off the train.

They certainly dress differently in the Capitol, I think to myself.

They almost look cartoonish. They speak in an odd way; they always talk in a form of a question. They all look up to the sky almost like they are unsure of where they are, almost like it is a mistake, or bad dream that they have ended up in District Twelve. I can make out the camera equipment and the screens for the broadcast.

I can feel my heart quicken at the thought of what is coming, the reaping. My breath begins to quicken and it feels like I cannot get enough air. I do not want to think about it, to shut the whole world out. I slowly take a step back away from the display case. My mother stares at me wondering something, but certainly doesn't want to ask. I turn walk up the stairs to the bathroom and just sit on the floor staring at the window that leads outside.

There is nothing left to do; I have kept my mind from thinking about today long enough.

I slowly ease myself into the tub of warm water, and my heart slows down. I scrub off the flour and the sweat for the morning and think of all the things that I wish I could be doing that does not involve the reaping. I remember once I sat by a tree and just watch the sunlight trickle in through the branches. I would just watch the people walk by. I have always wanted to sketch and paint, but never had the chance or even the freedom to do so. It is sad to think but the most I can ever expect is to frost the cakes. There was always an expectation that I was to follow in my father's footsteps and help out full time in the bakery.

After a while of just looking outside the window I finally will myself to get this over with. Getting out of the tub, I just stare there at the mirror. There are only a couple more minutes until we have to present ourselves to the Capitol officials.

Just have to get pass today, and then everything can just go back to normal.

Walking in our room I see that my brothers are no longer there; they are probably downstairs, probably eating.

I put on the white linen shirt and pants, which I typically use for special occasions. Glancing in the mirror I find myself thinking of another time, a happier time. I look outside the window and begin to see my classmates, people that I know from around the District walking towards the square. I comb my hair, take a deep breathe, and just think "two more years."

I wonder if I am the only one that feels this way about today. I can still see the blank faces with the life taken. It isn't so much as fear that I see, but more like they have just given up.

As I walk downstairs, I hear my mother telling me to come to the front of the store. She looks around me and comes to inspect how I look, if I am presentable. She fixes my collar, and makes sure that my shirt is well pressed before she smiles. This is the only way I know that she still cares for me. Although she isn't very affectionate I know that she loves me, if only in her own way.

My father looks at me with his tired eyes. His eyes; it is one of a father who looks after his children. His hands pat me on my back and he says "come on, let's go."

We are required to be at the Square by one o'clock. Everyone from the District must attend the reaping. That is unless you are dying, of course. The peacekeepers would come and check each house just in case you think you can hide from the reaping. There is a census that keeps track of every single person, the ages and the deaths in the District so even if you could hide, they will eventually find you and imprison you.

I walk outside and see the many camera crews, on top of the roof tops of the houses that surround the square. There are many different bright banners that surround the square with the emblem of the Capitol. We all sign in quietly almost like it is a routine without emotions without anything really. The air feels so stale, and the sky still refuses to let the sunlight penetrate the clouds.

Each one of the different age groups is labeled with the oldest at the front and the youngest at the back. My older brother stands in front of me looking straight ahead. This is his last year that he is eligible for the reaping. I can see my parents and my oldest brother there on the side alongside the other parents. They are other people there though that actually takes bets on whose name would be drawn. It is impossible to think, but many do believe that the drawing is rigged and that the names are pre-determined. I am guessing that these people know this and have stacked the odds against some. These people would take odds if a name from a merchant family would be picked or if a name from the Seam. They check to see if the person who is picked would cry or not. I wonder if they actually know something that we don't.

I approach the sign in table where they take a small amount of blood from my finger to compare against the registry with a scanner. It beeps and the official ushers me into the section.

That is it; I am now officially signed in for the reaping.

I move to my section from the merchant boys aged 16 and we wait silently in straight rows waiting for it to begin.

There is a makeshift stage in front of the Justice building. With three chairs and podium and two large glass balls one for the boys and one for the girls. They are probably hundreds of slips in the boys bowl, my name is on eight slips of paper. There are three chairs on the stage, one for the Mayor, the other for Effie Trinket, our District's escort and the third is empty. I wonder who the third chair is for.

Just then the town clock hits two o'clock and I see Mayor Undersee get up from his chair and approach the podium. He starts to tell the crowd about the history of Panem, and how the country that rose up from the ashes of a place called North America. He goes through the history of the disasters that affected Panem, ranging from droughts, storms, fires, land disappearing into the sea and the wars that threaten to destroy us all. Through it is all a new nation was born, Panem. The Capitol surrounded by thirteen districts, which brought stability and prosperity to the people of Panem.

There was an uprising, which is called the Dark Days, where all the Districts came against the Capitol. All thirteen districts were defeated and District Thirteen was wiped off the map as a punishment for the uprising. There was a Treaty of Treason that was signed which gave us new laws to follow and as an anniversary that Dark Days should never occur again, they gave us the Hunger Games.

The Hunger Games, where the Capitol takes one boy and one girl from each of the twelve remaining districts in public reaping. They are placed them in an arena to fight to the death, leaving only one survivor. The arena change every year, from a desert to forest it is never the same and it is always hard to see, all the death. Even now I cannot even remember what the arena was like last year. All I can remember is that it was horrible.

I don't know, I think that is the Capitol's way of keeping us under control. So that we never make friends, because what is the point if you have a friend that one day can be called to the Hunger Games, to see them die a horrible death. Even if you were to win, which I haven't seen that for our District ever, I hear that you don't come back the same. I see the parents of the past tributes (that is what they call the ones who are selected) it is like they are suffering their own personal hell. It is like the very life is sucked out of them. A shell emptied from the inside.

You would think that the Hunger Games would be seen as sort of a funeral time as a reminder of the uprisings defeat. Well you wouldn't be more wrong in that assumption. Can you believe that the Capitol calls it is celebration? The only positive thing that comes from the Hunger Games is the District of the winner is showered with gifts of grain, sugar and oil, among other things that we are always in lack here in District Twelve.

At the end of this very long recount of how we should be grateful to the Capitol for all they do for us, the Mayor, reads the list of past District Twelve victors. This being the 74th Hunger Games, our District has only two victors. Out of the two, only one is still alive, Haymitch Abernathy.

When he is called by the Mayor he comes out of the Justice Building.

Haymitch is heavyset medium height middle-aged man. He appears to be yelling something that of course I cannot understand; he staggers almost falling into his seat. Although I cannot smell it from here, I can tell that Haymitch is drunk. He is sort of our mascot, and so we cheer for him whenever we see him make it without falling. The funniest thing is that he responds from the cheers by grabbing Effie Trinket who barely is able to escape his affectionate "embrace."

Mayor Undersee helps to deflect the attention away from Haymitch by announcing Effie Trinket to the podium. Effie Trinket is a strange woman, with her pink hair which looks like it might be a wig. Her pale white skin makes her look very odd. I guess this is the style of the Capitol, pink hair with bright green suite. Her voice matches her oddness, with the typical Capitol accent. Still to this day I cannot understand the pitch at the end of the Capitol's accent, always seems like they are asking a question.

"Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be _ever_ in you favor!" She says. "It is such a pleasure to see all of you again for this the 74th annual Hunger Games! I am honor to be District Twelfth's escort, and I look forward to this day every year. It is an opportunity for District Twelve to show Panem what wonderful people we have here."

Effie continues on about how wonderful we are and how she loves coming to our District every year. The sincerity of her makes for a wonderful show. She truly believes in what she is saying, while we all know that given the opportunity to switch district, she would do so in a heart beat.

I can't help but to lose myself in the surrounding people, their expression and how horrified they were at all this. It is what happens every year I think there is nothing we can do to change it.

With that I see that Effie begins to walk towards the girl's glass bowl. She reaches in and pulls out a slip of paper. Everything for the next couple of seconds goes deafly quiet.

She walks back to the podium, opens the slip of paper, and reads out the name.

"Primrose Everdeen"

I can hear the crowd of adults around us begins to talk and murmur. It always happens when someone who is twelve is chosen. I can see the peacekeepers come and take this little twelve year old girl by the hand.

Something bothers me about the name. Where have I heard that name before? Everdeen. Everdeen. It sounds so familiar. I can't seem to place it. That is when I hear it from the crowd. A familiar voice screams out the name "Prim!"

My heart sinks, as I realize that it is the same girl from the Seam. She is the one with the braid that always stops by the bakery with her little sister to view the cakes. It is Katniss Everdeen.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Ten seconds. That is how long it took Katniss back in school to win at track and field. It was two years ago, and every year each of the classes in school have what we consider a track meet. Each girl and boy competes in different games and the girls from every year run against each other. Almost always the girls that are older win, but this day two years ago was different.

Every girl was there lined up for the thirty yard dash. The older ones of course had the advantage; no one would even consider looking at the younger ones. Everyone was laughing around not really putting any importance to the race, that is not everyone but her. The look of determination I saw that day, and I knew that Katniss would win. She just wanted it more than anyway else. At the end of the race she must have beaten the oldest girls by a couple of feet. The look on her face when she won the race and it was the sweetest victory. That is what I see today, that same look.

Before any of the peacekeepers could do anything, Katniss has already reached her little sister as she reached the stage. Everyone just looked around shocked; no one really knows what is going to happen. I know though exactly what is going to happen. I have to only look down for a couple of seconds and close my eyes before I hear it.

"I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!" She says.

And just like that, the girl from the Seam has just saved her sister by condemning herself to death. We don't have many volunteers. In fact, I don't think we have ever had a volunteer, I don't think. I try to think back the four years that I have had to go through this, and this is the very first time that I can remember someone volunteering. If anyone would be the first, I knew it would be her.

From what I can remember on the rules of volunteering is that if a tribute's name is pulled, another eligible tribute can come forward and volunteer to take their place. In other Districts I would see people volunteer almost like it was an honor. In those Districts, where it is common, there are different procedures. The one who volunteers has to make their case against the one who is called. Then the Mayor, past victors, and even the escort takes into consideration both cases and finally a tribute is chosen by vote. The tribute is then either accepted or rejected by the Gamemakers. It sounds like a court case, people eager to risk their own lives for their District.

I can hear Effie Trinket begin to object to Katniss's volunteer. "I believe there is a small matter of introducing the reaping winner and then asking for volunteers, and if one does come forth then we, um …"

Mayor Undersee interrupts her, "what does it matter? What does it matter? Let her come forward."

Katniss's little sister has just started to object, holding onto her. "No Katniss! No! You can't go!"

Does she realize what would happen if she challenges the volunteer? The choice would fall on the Mayor, Effie Trinket and Haymitch Abernathy. The final choice of the tribute would be made by the Gamemakers and I wouldn't doubt that the young Primrose Everdeen would make for a better show. The Hunger Games is all about the show, the drama, and this is exactly what the Gamemakers are looking for.

In an instant I see someone from the boy crowd come out and take Katniss's little sister back. I can't place it, but I think that is the same hunter from early this morning who traded the bread for the squirrel. It might have been her cousin, they do look alike. Plus he brings Primrose to their mother and I know they at least know each other.

"Bravo! That's the spirit of the Games! What's your name?" Effie says. I don't know why but I think she is actually happy about all this, after all this makes for good television.

She says as calmly as she can, "Katniss Everdeen."

"I bet my buttons that was your sister. Don't want her to steal all the glory, do we? Come on everybody! Let's give a big round of applause to our newest tribute!" Effie says with a smile.

This is not entertainment. There is no value in this. We all can see this; we all cannot come to terms with this. This is what our District is all about; we cannot accept this. District 12 isn't a very large district; we only have about eight thousand or so. We all know each other, or at least by name.

When someone in the mines dies protecting their crew we all feel it, we all come together. There is a symbol that we do at the funeral of the fallen, we touch the three middle fingers of our left hand, the primary hand that hold the tools of our trade to our lips and hold it out to the fallen, to the one who protects the other. It is a sign of respect, a sign of gratitude, that we all feel it, and we are all together.

It is only a moment of silence but everyone in the crowd, heck it may have been everyone in the District at the same time, presents Katniss with the symbol to the one who sacrifice themselves for others. It is enough to let Katniss know that we do not agree, we are all together in this, we say goodbye but we are all grateful.

It is at this time that Haymitch Abernathy says in a loud voice, "I like her, lots of … spunk!" He then just looks straight at the camera and yells, "more than you!" I can see him walking closer and closer to the camera but I don't think he realize that he is running out of stage. Just as he is about to continue his tirade, he falls off the stage and just like that the wonderful drama that Effie loved, has turned into a comedic one.

The host that she is, recovers on cue with a "what an exciting day! But more excitement to come! It's time to choose our boy tribute!"

I had almost forgotten that it is not over. All that has happened in the last couple of minutes, Primrose being called, Katniss volunteering, Haymitch screaming at the camera and I had forgotten that it is not over. Just like that almost instantly everything slows down, I can hear my heartbeat match every footstep that Effie does as she approaches the glass bowl.

I look around to see if I can find my father, I search and could not find him. It isn't until I look towards the bakery that I could just barely see him inside, sitting on a chair with his face in his hands. I see him look up and for the first time since I left the bakery, our eyes meet and I know.

Almost muffled I hear it just barely, "Peeta Mellark,"

Looking away from the bakery, I look at everyone just looking at me. They have all just turned around and now they all look at me. I look at the stage and for the first time, I know that this isn't a dream. Just this morning I was think about trying to make it two more years and now it doesn't matter. Just like that and I think that my father will finally stop worrying about me being chosen. He can stop worrying about me completely.

I walk towards the stage surrounded by peacekeepers and make my way up to the stage. It doesn't even register in my mind what is going on. It is almost like I am seeing this from the outside. I don't know how to react, I don't know how to do anything, and at this time I am only thinking a time when life was better. To walk with pride, and to never let them take away what belongs to me.

There was a time once when I was ten my father and I were walking home from school when we saw a couple of peacekeepers surrounding a girl and a boy. We slowed to a mask the sound of our feet on the gravel road. We can see that the peacekeepers where holding the boy and can just barely make out the conversation.

"You will do what we ask or your brother here will be met with an unfortunate accident." One of them says. "Now be a good little girl and shows us how much you love your little brother." The girl couldn't have been more than eighteen years old, and the boy no more than fourteen.

My father quickly takes me behind a nearby tree looks me straight in the eyes and says something that I have never forgotten.

"Never let them change who you are," He taps me in my chest "who you are inside."

I never quite understood what he meant, but the intensity of his eyes I have never seen this before. He truly means for me to know this and to understand this, so I shake my head and tell him that I understand.

"Who we are, is the last piece that they should never have." He tells me.

We walked slowly away from the scene. That day he started helping the hunters. It was an odd thing to see, but every morning before anyone would get up he would bake bread for the hunters. It was his way of helping I guess. He always would give more than enough bread and sometimes would take hardly anything in return.

I once walked downstairs thirsty for water, and then I hear the click of the door and see him looking right at me. He taps his chest and I know what he means.

I stand now staring out into the crowd and I now see him in the crowd coming out of the bakery. You can tell that he had something in his eyes or at least that is what I know he would tell me if I asked him. He looks straight in my eyes and taps his chest.

I see him look down and slowly walk back into the bakery closing the door. It is enough to bring all the emotion to my face. I struggle hard to keep from rising on the surface. I think of other things, and other people. We have said our goodbyes in just a simple act, and it was enough. My father knows that right now in my mind I am thinking of another person.

A year ago, it was early morning when I wake up staring at ceiling of the room. I make my way downstairs to the kitchen, and there at back door of the kitchen stood someone that I haven't seen in a while. The door was open just enough to see her eyes. The sunlight had just creep through the day and I can see those grey eyes as my father closed the door.

He simply looked at me, smiled and tells me, "I know how you feel; her mother had the same affect on me many years ago."

"Really?" I ask.

"When I was young, her mother lived in town and would work in the Apothecary. She was lovely to see, and of course every man in town noticed her." He tells me.

"So what happened?" I asked.

"She fell in love with a coal miner. He gave her the one thing that she needed. Now I don't know what it was but remember son, everyone has a need that only one person can fill." He tells me.

The mayor finishes the Treaty of Treason and tells us to shake hands. I hold her hand in mine and look straight into her eyes. I know she is worried about her mother and her sister. I can see it in her deep grey eyes. I want to tell her that it would be okay, that everything will be okay. That we can just stop time for this one moment and I can tell her that I understand. I gently squeeze her hand and hope that she understands this.

With that the anthem begins to play, and I hold my hand to my chest and I gently tap on it. I will not let them change who I am, they will not take away the one thing that makes me.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

We are moved inside the Justice building by Peacekeepers and as I hear the door close behind us it feels like such finality. It makes me jump inside my skin. I have never been inside the Justice Building, for there was never a reason for me to go inside. The inside of the Justice is cold and without color, the large marble columns white and reaches to the glass dome without interruption. They are rooms prepared for both of us.

This is the only mercy that the Capitol has ever shown the people who are selected for the Hunger Games. This is the time that our families have the ability to say goodbye. They are all ushered into a waiting room where they sign up, name, and relationship to person. They are given only three minutes to tell the person who is selected goodbye. How do you say goodbye to ones you love in just three minutes for everyone?

In the room, I walk towards the window and I look outside. All the people have begun to walk back towards their homes. Home. Just like that I know that I would never see my home again. The tears stream freely down my cheeks. I have held it together this long, and I just couldn't, not anymore. There are no cameras here in the room, so I know that it doesn't matter.

I hear the door open and there stands my father and my mother.

"Where are…" I ask before interrupted by my mother.

"They couldn't make it, it is hard for them, and you know your brothers." She explains. It is better that way I guess. It is hard enough to say goodbye to them. I guess they wanted to give our parents all three minutes to say goodbye.

We sit down on the couch and it is quiet for a couple of moments before my mother says.

"We'll probably this year we can finally have a victor." She says. I start to smile, thinking my mother thinks that I can win. That is until she says.

"You know that one _she's _a survivor."

There it is, I can always count on my mother to be the bearer of reality. Reality is that I could never have won, so even if she did say it, it would only be an empty gesture. Still, I would have loved to hear it. I make it a point in my mind to forgive her and remember the woman, the mother that I knew so very long ago. The pain though is enough to cause me to look away from her.

My father noticing my expression finally speaks up and tells "you know your son is right here and now and this is the last memory you want him to have of you?"

"He knows the difference between reality and dreams. He is not a baby that has to be filled with hopes of something that may not even happen." She says matter of fact.

"Why are you even here? Your son wants to say goodbye to you and now what good is it." He says to her.

She stands and begins to walk away to the door. She pauses, almost as if she is going to turn around to say something. I think inside my heart, please, just say that you love me. The moment has come and goes, and she continues to walk towards the door, opening and closing it behind her.

"You have to understand son, she is losing her youngest son," he tries to comfort me. "Some people do not know how to say goodbye. But I brought something for you, to remind you of home, and what you are fighting for."

There in his hands is a small little package. He hands it to me, and the warm feeling of the package sips through the paper. I open it to see, it is cookies, but not just any cookies. My father had seen me earlier in the day making these exact ones. He noticed that I had taken my time making sure that the design on the cookies was perfect. I don't know how he could have known that this is exactly what I needed.

The cookies were your regular shortbread type cookies. The thing is that I decided to frost a design of dandelions on them. I know my father couldn't have known the real reason behind this, but knew that if I had spent all that time on cookies that they meant something to me.

I look at him, raise my hand to my chest and he nods.

"Do me a favor?" I ask.

"Anything my son," He replies.

"Can you take these to her? I made them thinking that today was the day I would get to talk to her after the reaping." I explain. "Now it doesn't seem appropriate."

"Okay." He tells me.

And with that the door opens and the Peacekeepers tell us that it is time.

We both stand and there he hugs me. I can feel the trembling in his arms, and I know that he is suffering right now, just as I am. He pats me on the back, and then finally as we separate, he nods and walks out of the room. The Capitol has taken away the one thing that matters to me.

I look down to my hands and truly examine them for the first time. They are all worn and cut from the years of the fire of our ovens. My father has the same look to his hands, of course much more seeing how he has been doing this for a very long time. His words echo in my mind.

"We are the same, you and me." He once told me. "We have the same hands and the same heart."

I smile.

Just then, the door clicks and I find myself a little taken back on my next visitor. There in the doorway in a soft yellow dress stands Delly Cartwright.

Delly Cartwright is a good friend of mines from school. She is the friendliest person you could ever meet. Always smiling and this time are no different.

"Hey Peeta," she says.

"Hey Delly, it is nice to see you." I tell her.

"Wanted to stop by and say goodbye, is it alright that I come in?" She asks.

I don't have to say anything, my expression of longing for a friend is self-evident and she just walks in.

"Peeta, I don't know if you know this, but sometimes I believe things happen for a reason." She tells me.

Sweet Delly, always trying to find the rainbow in the storm. I tell you, she could find the positive in anything, even today.

"Thank you, Delly." I tell her. "It is nice to always see the positive in things."

"It is probably the sort of push you need to finally tell her how you feel." She tells me.

The statement is as genuine as ever. She is the only one that knows. She is the only one that I had confided in.

There was once a day that I was at school in class. It must have been late in the day because the sun was starting to hide behind the trees. I of course was always looking outside the window trying to find some sort of escape.

In an instant I see her from across the playground. At the edge of the playground, we have this very large tree. Each year students would put wind chimes on its limbs. It is always nice to hear the wind chimes in the afternoon day. There she was sitting on the tree just looking at everyone else play, the braid down her back, her soft olive skin. I must let out a sigh loud enough to hear, because all of a sudden Delly Cartwright tells me. "Yup, that is love. Right there." Snapped back into reality I try to recover. "Love? Yes, I would _love_ to be outside playing and not in class hearing about how great coal mining is." I respond to her.

"Yes that is exactly what that was, your _love_ for the outside. And it is definitely not the girl at the very end of the playground, by the wind chimes." She tells me with a definite sound of doubt in her voice.

The wind chimes that day never sounded so peaceful. I don't know if it was the sound or the fact that I could just see her there without being caught.

"What do you have to lose Peeta?" Her voice brings me back into the room. "You always did _love_ the outside." She smiles.

"Yes, I always did love the outside." I tell her with a smile.

Just like that Delly has taken a very hard situation and turned it into a sweet memory. She reminded me of something I had forgotten. Although I have been crying and the emotions have been too much to bear, I know that Delly through her little trip down memory lane has tried to cheer me up.

The door opens and just like that, I am alone again. It is only a short moment before the Peacekeepers come back into the room and finally take me out of the room.

We are taken downstairs to a waiting car at the rear of the Justice Building. I have never ridden in a car; it is a luxury that most of us here in District 12, do not have. We typically get around on foot. If you can get to it by foot then it was a short enough distance, if you needed a horse or car, then it was too far away. My father would always say.

We come to the train station and our car is swarmed by reporters with cameras trying to get a picture of us, trying to get a comment from us. We stand by the doorway of the train, letting our pictures be taken by the swarm of cameras. They look like insects and even more they move like them too.

After a few minutes we are ushered into the train, the train door closes without a sound and the train begins to move. I walk over to the window and see our home disappear in the distance. The speed of the train is incredible, I can hardly feel a thing, but can see the trees just whizzing by. I don't know how fast we are going, but I know that if we go at this pace, we would be in the Capitol in no time at all.

From our geography class I can still remember that the Capitol is located in an area once called the Rockies. Effie Trinket takes both of us by the hand and leads us to our rooms. I quickly glance at Katniss before I walk into my room.

Right before the door closes, Effie Trinket tells us both "make sure to be ready in one hour."

I lie down in my bed; slowly remove my shoes with my feet. I hear them clomp on the floor and typically if I was at home, I would have to get up and place them in the closet.

"Everything has a place and everything in its place." My mother would always tell me before hitting me with it.

This time around, I think I will just leave them their right on the floor. Although I do have to quickly look around and make sure that no one is there.

I stare at the ceiling of the train, smooth metal finish, with a light glow where the lights come out. What I wouldn't get to see those wooden boards once again, feel the rough sheets on my skin and not this silky material that covers me now. I close my eyes thinking that if I can just imagine it, probably when I open my eyes the nightmare would be over and that I would be back in my bed once again. No luck, the same metal finish stares at me. I turn to one side and see the closet with its doors open.

I get up and walk towards the closet and can see the many different colors of shirts and pants just hanging there for me. A row of different type of shoes found at my disposal.

I slip out of my clothes, fold them nicely and place them on my bed. I take a shower and find it refreshing because of the hot water. We don't have hot water back home; well only if we heated up a pot full.

I chose the light blue shirt with a pair of slacks and make my way to what I think is the dining car. A couple of attendants help me find the correct place. On my way to down the narrow corridor, I see Haymitch walking towards me, mumbling something about laying down for a nap. I make it a point to tell him that dinner is in a hour, which he only just brushes me off as he stumble past us.

I think how he can help us, if he can't even walk straight. How did he win the Hunger Games I wonder, was it a drinking contest back then?

We make it to the dining car, and find that I am the first one. I sit down and see the panels, amazing, how they are of a polished material that I have never seen.

I hear the door open and see that it is Effie Trinket along with Katniss.

"Where's Haymitch?" Effie asks me.

"Last time I saw him, he said he was going to take a nap," I tell her.

"Well, it's been an exhausting day," Effie Trinket says to us.

They sit down and the attendants begin to bring out the food. The smell is almost intoxicating. They place before carrot soup, not the water down version but the rich bright red carrot soup. A green salad, with lamb chops and mashed potatoes. Cheese and fruits, and in the center they place a nice chocolate cake. I think I can eat it all in a couple of seconds, and I think I actually try to do so. Effie Trinket has to remind us to save room because there is more to come.

"At least you two have decent manners," says Effie, "The pair last year ate everything with their hands like a couple of savages. It completely upset my digestion."

Well one can only imagine seeing how we hardly have anything to eat back in District 12. Sure my family has bread, and yes we are not in the Seam but in the merchant part of the District, but people forget that most of the bread is to sell not to eat. We sometimes have to eat days old bread. Trade the good bread for some meat that the hunters would go out and get. That was our meal, but we didn't complain and we never looked down on anyone who didn't have. I hear the clink of the silverware on the table and see that Katniss is finishing her meal with her hands and then wipes her hand with her the tablecloth. This makes Effie look at Katniss with a face of disapproval.

Just then I feel the rich food that I have just ate wishing to make a repeat appearance and have to force myself to keep it inside my stomach. Mental note, slowly eat the rich food, as it seems that my stomach is only accustomed to day old burned bread and road kill.

"Now, let's us go watch a bit of the recaps, shall we? We want to know who we are up against no?" Effie Trinket says.

We sit down in a compartment that has comfortable couches of a material I have never seen. Effie says it is leather from a cow, which is amazing. It never ceases to amazes me what the people from the Capitol can think of. The television slides from behind a wall at a push of a button. And there the recaps begin. All twelve districts staggered one after the other.

We see the volunteers and the chosen in District 1 and 2. How they run to the front to volunteer and the whole process of selecting the tribute. The faces are all a blur, some are built like an ox and others are even crippled. There is even a little twelve-year old girl from District 11.

Our District recap comes on, and I can see the whole thing all over again, although I don't want to. There is Katniss volunteering, and the commentator making a reference that there hasn't been a volunteer in an outlining District in years. They ask the question on why no one applauded and even our salute they didn't understand. They wouldn't understand it, it is a something only a person who has lived in the Districts would understand. Haymitch falls off the stage and of course Effie Trinket has a comment about it.

"Your mentor has a lot to learn about presentation. A lot about televised behavior."

I find that funny, and start to laugh at the absurdity of her comment. "He was drunk, he's drunk every year." I tell her.

"Every day," Katniss adds. I look to her and smile.

"Yes, how odd you two find it amusing. You know your mentor is your lifeline to the world in these Games. The one who advises you, lines up your sponsors, and dictates the presentation of any gifts. Haymitch can well be the difference between life and your death!" She preaches to us.

Like on cue, Haymitch stumbles in, "I miss supper?" Then vomits all over the carpet slips and falls onto of it.

"So laugh away!" Effie Trinket says, as she walks away from the room.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

We both get out of chairs, and immediately know that although Haymitch isn't everything we had hope, she is right about one thing, he is all we got. We both understand that if we are going to have a shot at this, we are going to have to work with Haymitch.

Katniss and I each take one of Haymitch's arms and help him to his feet, vomit all over his clothes. The smell is horrible and surely Haymitch knows this, because he asked, "I tripped?" We didn't have the heart to tell him that he fell because he was drunk as a skunk. "Smells bad."

He doesn't realize but his hand is covered with his own vomit when he wipes his hand on his nose.

"Let's get you back to your room. Clean you up." I tell Haymitch.

We carry Haymitch back to his room and noticed that we can't just leave him on top of his bed. We take him to the shower and know that Katniss can't be for what I must now do.

I turn to her and tell her. "It's okay; I'll take it for here."

"Alright, I can send one of the Capitol people to help you." She tells me.

This man is not from the Capitol and although he is wearing Capitol clothes he is one of us. He went through the same thing that we are going to go through. Who knows how many people he had to say goodbye to. No one should see him this vulnerable. I tell Katniss. "No. I don't want them."

She turns and leaves me there. I turn on the shower he doesn't even flinch. Haymitch is totally out of commission. I remove his wet clothes and begin to wash off the vomit from his face and his hands. Is it my imagination but is there a more horrible smell than the vomit? It was actually under Haymitch's clothes. What does Haymitch do, bath in vomit? Is this a tool he used to win the Games, get them to run away from the smell? It takes me a couple of minutes and a lot of soap to get it all out, before I can finally get Haymitch into clean clothes. He is mumbling something when I put him on the bed. For a middle-aged man, Haymitch is built like an ox. He doesn't look it, but the man is pure muscle. So it takes all of my strength to get him into bed.

"What you doing in my room, boy?" He mutters as he wakes up.

"You know most people say thank you when they help you." I tell him.

"Help me? You think you helped me?" He asks. "You don't know it, but you are a fool."

Sometimes people who drink a lot say things that don't make any sense. I just look at him trying to understand it.

"You know that she is here to kill you right? Knowing what I know about her, she probably will." He says.

"If it happens, then why am I a fool?" I ask.

"A fool would believe that she will hesitate if she had a shot. She wouldn't, but the real question is, if you had the opportunity to kill her, would you?" He asks me.

I hesitate, but say "If it came to it." I tell him.

He looks at me, for a quick second. "You see that hesitation right there will get you killed. See a fool."

I start to walk out and hear from him. "She is a looker though, I give you that, and you don't think anyone notices but they do. The way you look at her. Hence Ta Da…the fool."

I walk back into my room, thinking, no, realizing, that she is on the train to kill everyone and survive. The determination I remember seeing at the square, and I know she will survive. Will it come to it, will she be the one to end my life. Would I hesitate?

I pace back and forth, when I see my old clothes. I grab them from the top of the dresser and place it to my nose. Clothes my eyes and I can still smell the bread in the clothes.

Just what I needed I think to myself, to clear my head, thinking of home, keeps me grounded. Would I do anything to get back home, I wonder. Just then I look at the mirror on the wall, and ask myself,

"Would you do anything to get back home?"

Maybe I am a fool, because I just sigh and sit on the bed. Lie down on my bed and just close my eyes. Probably I can just dream of the past where everything was better.

Hours pass until I hear the knock on the door. I open my eyes and realize that I didn't even change out of my clothes. I guess my body just gave out after all what happened yesterday. Was it yesterday?

I get up and just change my shirt before walking towards the dining car. I sit down and see that Haymitch has just come in.

"Well lookie who is here early." He tells me.

"Better watch where you walk, you might 'trip' again" I tell him.

The door opens and Effie Trinket just walks in, when Haymitch tell her.

"Hey Effie, what side of the bed did you wake up on? From the look of it, I would have to say the wrong one." Haymitch tells her and begins to laugh.

There is a cup of brown liquid that smells wonderful, I ask for a cup and just examine it for a little bit before I ask the attendant what it is.

"Hot Chocolate." They tell me.

I take a sip of it and it was the most delicious thing I have ever drunk.

Katniss comes into the dining car and I hear Haymitch tell her "Sit down! Sit down!"

As some sort of song, as soon as Katniss sits down the attendants begin to serve us Eggs, ham, fried potatoes; my plate could feed my entire family for two days I think.

There is even orange juice. Out of all things that I have had only a couple of times, I can remember the number of times that I have had.

Katniss looks at the cup of hot chocolate and I tell her. "They call it hot chocolate, it's good."

She drinks it, and smiles. We start to eat the wonderful food, but remember that I have to pace myself because rich food does not sit well with my stomach. We get almost to the end when I see Haymitch drinking a red juice that he is lacing with some sort of alcohol.

After all that happened yesterday, you would think that he would at least tone it down. All this guy does is drink. How can he help us if cannot even stand, or be coherent.

"So you're supposed to give us advice?" Katniss asks.

"Here's some advice. Stay alive." He responds and grins.

This little man has our lives in his hands. He has won these Games before and that is the advice he has for us? I cannot believe him, the nerve. No wonder we have never had a victor since him, because he couldn't be sober for a couple of days to offer some helpful advice. How many kids had to die because this drunk couldn't give them advice? It will not happen to us, even if I have to beat the advice out of him.

"That's very funny…" I say and immediately slap the glass out of his hand. It flies across the room and shatters on the back wall.

"…only not to us." I finish.

I look at him straight in his eyes. Only to find myself on the ground, that is how fast it was. A punch that landed straight in my jaw and knocked me off my chair, it felt like face just walked into a wall hard.

It took only a few second to come, only to see that Katniss had driven a knife into the table barely missing Haymitch's fingers.

Haymitch smiles and looks at us, "well, what's this? Did I actually get a pair of fighters this year?" He says.

I rise up from the floor scooping out a handful of ice to put on my jaw.

Haymitch stops me and says, "No, let the bruise show. The audience will think you've mixed it up with another tribute before you've even made it to the arena."

"That's against the rules," I tell him.

"Only if they catch you. That bruise will say you fought, you weren't caught, even better," He tells me.

Haymitch turns to Katniss and ask. "Can you hit anything with that knife beside a table?"

She grabs the knife from the table and slings it across the room hitting the seam between two panels. I am a little bit shocked to see how good Katniss is with a knife.

"Stand over here. Both of you," Haymitch tells us.

He walks around us, checking our muscles how they react to stimulation, examining how we react.

"Well, you're not entirely hopeless. Seem fit. And once the stylists get hold of you, you'll be attractive enough." He tells us.

"All right, I'll make a deal with you. You don't interfere with my drinking, and I'll stay sober enough to help you, but you have to do exactly what I say." He says.

"Fine" I tell him.

Katniss tells him, "So help us, when we get to the arena, what's the best strategy at the Cornucopia for someone"

"One thing at a time. In a few minutes, we'll be pulling into the station. You'll be put in the hands of your stylists. You're not going to like what they do to you. But no matter what it is, don't resist," Haymitch tells us.

Katniss interrupts only to have Haymitch say "No buts. Don't resist"

He grabs the bottle and leaves the room. As the door closes the lights in the dining car turns off. Well I thought it was the lights, but it seems that the train has gone into some sort of tunnel into the Capitol.

It won't be long now. We will be in the Capitol and then in the Games. I sit down in my seat and just stare out window. Even Katniss sits and we just enjoy the silence as it dawns on us. We have made it to the end of the line.

As if the sun just rose, the dining car just lights up with bright light. It is almost too much as I close my eyes. Like staring at the sun for too long, it takes me a couple to re-focus my eyes on what I see.

Like a dream, I see before me, the Capitol. The colors, it is bright and rich. Everything seems right out of a exaggerate painting where everything has been enhanced. I can see the people slowly come into focus as I realize that the train is slowing down.

Will our sponsor be at the station? Most of the important people will be, I think. I know at least the cameras will be. I start to wave and smile at the crowd. I look back at the shock face, and tell her

"Who knows? One of them may be rich."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

We are taken from the train station and are immediately mobbed by the cameras at the station. I try my hardest to be as pleasant as I can, however I see Katniss is bent on being non-responsive. I don't know yet her strategy but I know that mine is to make a good impression to everyone that I meet.

The cars are there waiting for us when we are each placed in different cars. Almost feels like what a celebrity would feel. I guess for the people in the Capitol we are sort of celebrities. Only in the Capitol can you be a celebrity for being randomly selected to participate in a killing match.

We arrive to the Remake Center. We are reminded by Haymitch "not one complaint." I sigh and nod. I wonder what painful thing happens inside the remake center.

I am taken to a room where a group of people look at me up and down.

"Beautiful hair, I simply love the blonde. We do have to do something about the facial hair though. Portia has left us with a list of things that she wants us, your prep team to take care of before she would meet with you." The lady tells me.

"Okay, ladies and gentlemen, make me beautiful then." I tell them with a smile.

This catches them by surprise, and they cheer "excellent, you are definitely going to be by the time we are done."

"First however, we have to see if you have hair anywhere else. Please remove your clothes." A gentleman with pale green hair tells me.

"Umm, now?" I ask very sheepish.

"Well isn't that cute, he is shy," she tells me, which causes my face to turn red. "Well if you don't mind we do need to take a look at your body."

I stammer before comply and remove my clothes and just stand there as the vulnerable as the day I was born.

All of the sudden, I start to feel little needles all over my body and see that my prep team has begun to remove every hair that isn't "manly" whatever that means.

For the next two hours, my prep team goes to work, erasing any hair I might have or want to have on my face. They go through my eye brows trimming the eyes brows. They go through almost every strand of hair in my head making sure that it fell perfectly on my head.

They applied this very appalling smelling crème on my hands. "It is for the scars that you have from the burns." They tell me.

Well what did they expect I spent my whole life in front of an oven taking hot bread? "Worker hands," they called them. They polish my skin from head to toe.

I look at the one with a smile, and say "why no mirrors, I don't get a glimpse of the final product?"

"Well it is a surprise and you will love it," she responds.

"Well if I can look like you fine people of the Capitol I know I will." I tell them to their delight.

"Well I don't know about that much, but you will definitely look closer to what we call beauty base zero." They tell me.

"Oh yes, beauty base zero is definitely where you are right now. I think we are done." Another one of my prep team tells me.

Finally I think to myself, after being scrubbed down to zero, I don't even want to think what the negative one may be.

"Let's get Portia, I know she will be pleased."

The door closes and a couple of minutes later enter a young woman who is about the same height of Katniss. She has a lighter shade of dark skin, with puffy blonde hair. She has black lipstick and I think purple accents around her eyes. She is quite an attractive woman, but not so overdone as to scream look at me, but more like when she enters into the room you know that she commands the room.

She speaks with a very soft calming voice and tells me. "I love the blonde; I knew we were a match when I saw you on the reaping recaps."

"Well I am glad that you think so," I tell her.

"Hello, Peeta. I am Portia your stylist, please let me take a look at you." She circles around me taking every aspect of my still bare body. She can tell that I am shivering because of the goose bumps that have formed literally all over my body.

"I love the broad shoulders, what I can do, me and Cinna, we are definitely going to love styling both you and the girl tribute from your district." She tells me with a smile.

"Please put on your rob and let's sit down, there is much to talk about." She waves me to the sitting room.

The room is behind what I can only describe as a hidden door. She clicks the wall and a door opens to a place that has two red couches that invite one to sit and talk. I can see the whole city from the glass wall. The sunlight is streaming through some clouds that have formed over the Capitol. If I could remember this sight, I would try. Almost every detail is just beautiful. Portia catches this and says, "beautiful isn't it, I can see you can appreciate the natural beauty of things no?"

"Well I try to, in my District, there aren't that many times when you can see the play of colors on the sky." I tell her without turning back to see her expression.

"From what I read, you are part of the merchant population of your District. What exactly do you do?" She asks.

"I frost cakes." I tell her with a sense of pride.

"Ah, I can see where the artistic side of you comes from." She tells me.

"Well let's talk about your costume for the opening ceremony. Cinna my counterpart is the stylist for your fellow tribute, Katniss. We are thinking of complimentary costumes, of the same origin but different of course in their end result. And as you know it is custom for each tribute's costume to paint a picture of what the District true essence is about."

"So coal miners huh?" I tell her.

"Wouldn't that be just a boring sight," Portia tells me. "When you think of your home Peeta, do you think of coal? Is that what your entire District is?"

"No, it is much more; I don't know how to explain it." I tell her.

"Exactly, but what we are thinking is not the origin, but the end result." She tells me. "What do we do with coal?"

"Well we burn it." I tell her.

"Exactly, our goal is not to tell the people about the coal miners, because that has been overdone. We are focusing on the end result." She says and I know that it is going to be unforgettable.

"What are your thoughts about fire?" She asks with a smile creeping on her face.

She gets up and walks out for a moment. And when she comes back it is a very ordinary black shirt and pants. They are of a stretchy material and it covers my entire body from my neck to my ankles. It hugs every corner and every crevices of my body and I am a little self conscious by how it leaves nothing to imagination.

"A little snug, do you have it in a large; I think this may have been Katniss costume." I tell her.

"No Peeta," She laughs. "Hers is even smaller."

I blush at the thought, and of course quickly turn my face to the glass wall.

She had me a pair of black boots that are extremely comfortable and attaches a cape made of streams of orange, yellow, and red.

"The material is made to conduct fire. But not real fire, it is more like synthetic fire." She tells me.

My face goes flush with the thought of being set on fire. "No one would forget that, the two burning tributes. Guessing we won't make it to the Games after that but will be in the hospital recovering."

"It isn't real flame, believe me, I wouldn't hurt that pretty little boyish face of yours. You will be perfectly safe" She tells me.

We are taken to the bottom level of the Remake Center, filled with chariots and horses. Every tribute from the different districts is there and you should see the costumes. Even the horse matches the colors. I don't mean that the horses are in costume, they are actually made to mimic the same color. Genetic alterations I think.

We are taken to our stable and glad to find that our horse is not on fire but coal black, the darkest you can find. Both Cinna and Portia take us by the hand to the chariots and arrange the way we should stand to gain maximum effect. They fan out our capes so that they land over our costumes.

"What do you think?" Katniss whispers. "About the fire?"

"I'll rip off your cape if you'll rip off mine," I tell her trying my hardest not to let anyone know what I was saying.

"Deal," She tells me. "I know we promised Haymitch we'd do exactly what they said, but I don't think he considered this angle."

"Where is Haymitch, anyway? Isn't he supposed to protect us from this sort of thing?" I tell her.

"With all that alcohol in him, it's probably not advisable to have him around an open flame." She tells me laughing.

We both start to giggle at the thought of Haymitch on fire.

The music starts and two massive doors begin to open. They tell us that we will go in order from our District, so of course we will be last. It would be around twenty minutes or so traveling down the main boulevard which has massive crowds on both sides. At the end of the main boulevard is the City Circle and there stands a stage.

After the welcome speech we will be taken to the Training Center which will be our new home until the Games begin.

Each of the chariots begins to move and I can see that before long we will be set on fire. I can see the sight level of fear creep into Katniss's expression although if I tell her, she will of course deny it.

I turn around and see Cinna coming towards us with a torch. Didn't they say that it would be fake fire? The torch looks real enough to me. Before we have a change to do anything he ignites the capes and says. "It works."

It works? Okay so what would happen if it didn't work I think? That doesn't exactly instill confidence in this lovely plan. He tucks a hand under Katniss's chin and tells her "remember, heads high. Smiles. They're going to love you!"

He jumps down and starts to tell us something, but the music is too loud. I can barely read out what he is saying.

Katniss shouts at me, "what's he saying?"

I can just make it out and from the clasps of his hands and I know. "I think he said for us to hold hands."

I grab Katniss's right hand and we look back to see if I am right. He nods at us and gives us a thumbs-up.

I look down at her hand, and realize that everything in the arena has grown silent. Time has literally gone still. I can feel the same warm feeling from her hands. I can remember shaking her hand back in District 12. This isn't a handshake, but a hand holding. I am guessing people have caught on to my longer than I like glances at Katniss and realize that there was something there on my part.

It could have been the oneness of our District when Katniss volunteered for her sister. Whatever the reason it doesn't matter, I just wish for this moment to last a little bit longer. Everything doesn't matter at this time. I can see the crowd yelling something, but no words come out.

I turn and catch for the first time how beautiful she looks. Her hair beautifully crafted and the flames just ignite those grey eyes of passion. The red, yellow and orange glows of the fire dance across her face, like strands of hair. She is on fire, and I am captivated by her for a couple of minutes before I see that she has turned to me. I slowly look away so that she doesn't notice that I wasn't looking at the crowd but her. Try and focus I tell myself, if not you can lose your balance and end up falling along with her.

I look to her and see that has started to blow kisses at the crowd. She doesn't realize the effect that she has on people, people that she touches.

I can feel her hand start to lessen, and tell her "No, don't let go of me, I might fall out of this thing!"

A little lie, I know. I just didn't want her to let go. I wanted this to last just a little bit longer.

She says, "okay."

Our horses come to the stage in front of what I think is President Snow's mansion. I have never seen President Snow this close and can see that the man is an older man, with white hair, thin in a dark suit and a bright red rose.

He gives us the official welcome and starts to recount the history of Panem and the coming of the Hunger Games. He talks about the Dark Days and how this is both a sacrifice and a privilege. The anthem starts and we salute the President.

The horses start up again and we are en-route to the Training Center. The whole thing ends with our prep teams surrounding us extremely happy on how well we presented ourselves. How we stole the show even from President Snow. Everyone didn't even hear the speech they say and were talking only about how we were dazzling. Both Cinna and Portia help us down from the chariots, and Portia extinguishes the still flaming capes.

I see that Katniss had remembered that we were still holding hands, when I feel the circulation come back to my hand. It didn't matter, I would do it again, but now I start to massage the blood back into my hand.

"Thanks for keeping hold of me. I was getting a little shaky there," I tell her.

"It didn't show, I'm sure no one noticed." She tells me.

"I'm sure they didn't notice anything but you. You should wear flames more often, they suit you." I tell her with a smile.

She stands on her tiptoes and kisses me on my cheek. Although it was right on the bruise that Haymitch left, I don't think you could even see the bruise from the redness of my whole face.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Effie Trinket quickly ushers us to the doors of the Training Center which has two very large Peacekeepers at the door. They slide their keypad on and then place their hands on a pad. It reads it and the doors open.

"Don't you just love the level of security you will feel while at the Training Center?" Effie Trinket asks.

I think to myself, why yes Effie, it is not at all to keep us from escaping, and it is keep the people from getting in. We both smile as if on cue.

I walk slowly behind Katniss and Cinna. Portia and I follow behind. We arrive at the elevator and Effie starts on the fact that each District has a floor and since we are from the 12th district we have the top floor.

The elevator comes quickly and it made of clear glass. Almost sort unnerving to see below you as it shoots you straight up as a quick place.

We arrive in no time and Effie starts to say how great we have been conducting ourselves. We must have come from a great upbringing she tells us, because of our manners, and how we are polite to people and not 'savages' as she would put it.

She tells us how she knows everyone who is anyone. "I've been very mysterious though, because of course, Haymitch hasn't bothered to tell me your strategies. But I've done my best with what I had to work with. How Katniss sacrificed herself for her sister. How you've both successfully struggled to overcome the barbarism of your district."

The barbarism of our district? I can't help but show my contempt for the comment. We may not be all shining and bright like the Capitol but we are good people, which are decent and hardworking.

"Everyone has their reservations, naturally. You being from the coal district. But I said, and this was very clever of me, I said, 'Well, if you put enough pressure on coal it turns to pearls!'"

Wait a minute; I remember thinking that pearls grow in shellfish. Did she mean diamonds, which of course is a misconception seeing how I remember from our classes in school, that District 1 has some sort of machine that can turn graphite to diamonds, I think to myself. I don't know how to respond so Katniss and me just smile and nod.

"Unfortunately, I can't seal sponsor deals for you. Only Haymitch can do that, but don't worry, I'll get him to the table at gunpoint if necessary." Effie continues to tell us.

We have some attendant take us to our rooms to get settle in. I am at the end of the hall and Katniss is in the room next to me. I walk into my room and find that it can literally be larger than my entire house. There is the bedroom, separate sitting area, changing area, and the bathroom.

The one thing that I notice is the amount of sunlight that comes in is vast. Floor to ceiling glass windows adorn every separate room. I wonder would I have no privacy from the outside world. Right then I come to an array of buttons on wall and find that one of the buttons tint the glass so that it becomes a solid color. The solid color can also be changed for scenery of many different places.

I go through the many scenes, desert, forest, ruins being enveloped with sounds of each of the place. I feel like I am transported to each of the place as I go through them.

I walk over to the changing area and find that like in the train, every known and even some color that I don't know shirts are lined through and can be easily programmed to select a combination of shirt and pants for each occasion.

The bathroom is no different on the level of complexity. I look around for the manual on how to operate even the shower that has about forty or fifty different settings. How many different ways can one take a shower I wonder?

I walk outside of the room and find that Cinna is walking into our floor. He looks to me and I ask.

"Do you know where I can find the manual for the shower?" I tell him. He smiles and shakes his head no.

"Have you tried the controller on your bed?" He asks.

"I did and saw the most magnificent views from around the world, almost like I traveled there." I tell him.

"Well if you think that is a view, come let me know show you something," He tells me while pointing to the door.

We go up the stairs to a small room with a dome that has a door. We go outside to the roof and the sight is more than I can imagine. It is one thing to see it from the train window, or even through the glass screens, but it is another thing to see it in reality. The sun is setting on the day and the glow that the sun gives off as it hides behind the horizon is a soft orange glow. It is just perfect.

"This is very nice." I tell Cinna. "Thank you for showing me this place."

"I like to come up here sometimes to think and just get inspired. It really does clear the mind." He tells me.

"Are you sure we can come up here?" I ask him. "Aren't the Gamemakers afraid that some would just want to end their own life by jumping?"

"Well you can try but you will find that sometimes what you can't see can really hurt you." Says Cinna as he throws a pebble to the sky. All of the sudden you see the rock get zapped by something invisible and it shot right back to the ground.

"Force field" He tells me. "If you go a little bit further on the roof you will find a garden too, for those times that you need some alone time to yourself. The cool wind coming from the mountain activates the wind chimes. Now come let's go down for dinner."

We go down stairs and meet up with Portia on the balcony.

We chit chat here and there about life back in District 12 and how it is different from the Capitol life. We hear a soft tap on the glass door to come inside, it seems that dinner is about to be served.

We walk in just to see that both Effie and Katniss are coming into the dining room. The attendants are showing us to our table however when I tell them thank you, they just smile and nod. Weird, I think but I guess they are less chatty than the ones on the train, who told me about the hot chocolate.

One of the attendants comes around with glasses of wine. I thank him but turn down the offer. After what I have seen how Haymitch acts, the last thing I need is vomit on myself, or have him shower me clean. The mental image sends a shiver down my spine, but I can see that Portia thinks I am cold.

I reassure her that I am fine, and see that Haymitch is just joining us. He is well dress and looks like he just taken a bath and found 'clean' clothes. He isn't staggering around, or slurring his words, so probably tonight is the night we get something coherent from him.

Both Haymitch and Effie are talking how great the stylist has set us up for sponsors. Effie says how no one will forget us, and Haymitch tells them that they really outdid themselves.

I can see that Katniss is on her second glass of wine when they bring out a baked Alaska. Well that is what my father calls it. He showed me in a book on the different types of cakes. I simply know that he would love to see one in real life. There isn't the right kind of alcohol in District 12 for the baked Alaska just the drinking kind and of course the ones used for healing.

Katniss stares at the baked Alaska as it is ignited on fire. The flame dances on the edges. She turns to the attendant and asks "What makes it burn? Is it alcohol? That is the last thing I wa – oh! I know you!" The whole room just goes quiet like something horrible just happened.

"Don't be ridiculous, Katniss. How could you possibly know an Avox? The very thought." Effie asks Katniss.

"What's an Avox?" Katniss asks.

"Someone who committed a crime. They cut out her tongue so she can't speak," says Haymitch. "She's probably a traitor of some sort. Not likely you'd know her."

"And even if you did, you're not to speak to them unless it's to give an order," says Effie. "Of course, you don't really know her."

"No, I guess not. I just -" says Katniss.

I can see that Katniss does know her, and while I don't know how, I feel like I have to try and help her.

"Delly Cartwright. That's who it is. I kept thinking she looked familiar as well. Then I realized she's a dead ringer for Delly." I make the statement.

The girl looks nothing like Delly. This avox has dark red hair, and Delly is blonde. I am trying to give Katniss and out and hope she knows it.

"Of course, that's who I was thinking of. It must be her hair," Katniss says.

"Something about the eyes too." I tell her.

Hope this is all they need to know that it was just an honest mistake. However I do wonder how Katniss really does know this girl. Although we can't really ask the young girl, since she can't talk it does lead me to wonder.

"Oh, well. If that's all it is," says Cinna. "And yes, the cake has spirits, but all the alcohol has burned off. I ordered it especially in honor of your fiery debut."

We take a bite into the warm cake and find that the looks of how wonderful the cake is, is nothing compared to how it taste. The fire and the alcohol do something to the flavor that just enhances everything. When we are done, Effie asks to see if we can watch the replay of the opening ceremony.

We walk into the sitting room to watch the replay. I can finally see and hear what it was like down in the ceremony as I don't remember any of it. I look at our entrance and hope that the camera didn't catch me staring too much at Katniss.

Haymitch asks, "whose idea was the hand holding?"

"Cinna," says Portia.

"Just the perfect touch of rebellion," says Haymitch. "Very nice."

Wonder what he meant about rebellion. I am guessing hand holding is a sign of rebelling seeing how all the other tributes aren't doing that. They are not even acknowledging the other.

"Tomorrow morning is the first training session. Meet me for breakfast and I'll tell you exactly how I want you to play it," says Haymitch. "Now go get some sleep while the grown-ups talk."

Leave it to Haymitch to always be the condescending drunk that his reputation states he is.

So we walk down the corridor to our rooms. I stop at Katniss door curious about 'Delly.'

"So, Delly Cartwright. Imagine finding her lookalike here." I tell her.

Katniss just stares at the end the hall towards to the door to the roof. Is she trying to tell me that we might be being watched or even just recorded?

"Have you been on the roof yet?" I tell her. Katniss shakes her head no.

"Cinna showed me. You can practically see the whole city. The wind's a bit _loud_, though." I tell her, trying to hint that we can talk without the fear of being overheard.

"Can we just go up?" She asks me.

"Sure, come on," I tell her, and lead her to the roof. We walk along the railing of the roof, seeing how she hesitating looks down almost fearful that she would fall off the roof. I tell her about the electric field and even show it to her by getting my hand zapped by the field. Note to self, next time use the same pebble Cinna used.

"Always worried about our safety," Katniss says sarcastically. "Do you think they're watching us now?"

"Maybe," I tell her. To ease her mind I think about the garden. The wind although loud will help block out the sound through the wind chimes. "Come see the garden," and guide her by the hand.

Katniss walks toward a flower and I follow very closely. "We were hunting in the woods one day. Hidden, waiting for game," she whispers.

"You and your father?" I whisper.

"No, my friend Gale. Suddenly all the birds stopped singing at once. Except one. As if it were giving a warning call. And then we saw her. I'm sure it was the same girl. A boy was with her. Their clothes were tattered. They had dark circles under their eyes from no sleep. They were running as if their lives depended on it. The hovercraft appeared out of nowhere, I mean, one moment the sky was empty and next it was there. It didn't make a sound, but they saw it. A net dropped down on the girl and carried her up, fast, so fast like the elevator. They shot some sort of spear through the boy. But I'm certain he was dead. We heard the girl scream once. The boy's name, I think. Then it was gone, the hovercraft. Vanished into thin air. And the birds began to sing again, as if nothing had happened" says Katniss.

"Did they see you?" I ask her.

"I don't know. We were under a shelf of rock," She tells me.

I can tell recalling this story has brought back some very horrible memories. Her face changes from pain to guilt. I know that she feels responsible, but how can she, she didn't make them run and she couldn't help them without being caught herself. I know she would have tried if she could have. The guilt I know can be overbearing. I look into her grey eyes, and I recognize the look. The look of worrisome is self evident in her eyes. It is the same look that my father would give me every year at the reaping. It aged him terribly, and took away the only joy he had, the feeling of safety for his family. I can see that she is shivering, from the cold wind, or from the story I cannot tell.

"You're shivering," I tell her. I remove my jacket and wrap it on her shoulders. I hope that this simple gesture allows her to realize that I wish I could make her feel better.

"They were form here?" I ask.

She nods

"Where do you suppose they were going?" I ask.

"I don't know that," says Katniss. "Or why they would leave here."

"I'd leave here," I say a little bit too loud. I look around make sure there was no one to hear me. "I'd go home now if they let me. But you have admit, the food's prime." I cover my comment.

"It's getting chilly. We better go inside." I tell her.

We are back into the dome when I remember she said her friend Gale. Was that the same guy that came to our door earlier that morning?

"Your friend Gale. He's the one who took your sister away at the reaping?" I ask her.

"Yes. Do you know him?" She asks me.

"Not really. I hear the girls talk about him a lot. I thought he was your cousin or something. You favor each other," I tell her.

"No we are not related." She tells me.

Great now keep it cool I think to myself.

"Did he come to say good-bye to you?" I ask calmly.

"Yes," she tells me in a sort of question like fashion. "So did your father. He brought me cookies,"

Well that is good that my father was able to get her the cookies I made for her. I didn't really know from her expression earlier in the train if she had received them, or even if my father was able to get in to see her.

"Really? Well, he likes you and your sister. I think he wishes he had a daughter instead a houseful of boys." I tell her trying to deflect the story away from her questioning.

Wonder if she is buying it? I look at her expression and see that she still has a puzzled look. Before she asks me a question I tell her. "He knew your mother when they were kids."

"Oh, yes. She grew up in town." She tells me.

That was a little bit of a shock, knowing that her mother still remembers my father. I wonder if she ever knew that he would have loved to have gotten to know her. Just like his son would love to get to know her daughter.

We are back at her door. Should have taken the long route around the roof I think to myself. Katniss hands me my jacket back.

"See you in the morning then," She tells me.

"See you" I tell her and walk back down the hall to my room.

I come into my room and remove my clothes leaving my inner garments on, and fold it nicely on the dresser.

The guilt of failing to save someone, I can only imagine. I worry sometimes about Katniss, what she has to go through or what she had to go through. I think of my father and still can remember those eyes from the inside the bakery, it is the same look that Katniss gave me tonight about failing to save the girl and boy running for their lives.

I wonder about him. Has he stopped pacing in the early morning worried about me? I really hope that he has, I know it sounds horrible, but I wish he would just forget me, because remembering me I think would only cause him pain.

I don't want to be the cause of pain for anyone.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

The night in the Capitol was filled with seeing my father in the kitchen weeping. I wake up a dozen times, thinking that I am back home. The pacing I do is back and forth in the hall ways. I can hear through Katniss room that she is having nightmares of her own. Even hear her screaming for her father to run. From what I can remember, her father died in a mining accident a couple of years ago.

It was almost five years ago in January. I know it was January because it was the coldest January that I can remember. It was hard enough to walk to school, but to breathe in the cold wind hurt my lungs. We were in school when we heard the sirens and see the people running towards to the school. They told us that there had been an accident in the mines. Most of the kids from the Seam ran out to be with their parents. That is when I saw her running with her little sister to her mother.

I come to find out that her father had died in the mining accident. For the next three months I would see Katniss, but it was like she wasn't there. Sure she came to school, but it was like the fire inside of her was gone.

I couldn't imagine what she was going through, or how she would survive. Even now I want to help, but how can I?

I must have come back to my room because when I woke up next time it was already morning and today was the first day of training. I quickly took a shower and got dressed with the clothes that were pre-programmed for today, a long sleeved burgundy tunic, black pants and leather shoes. I don't remember if Haymitch had given us a time to meet for breakfast, but might as well be early.

I find Haymitch in the hall way and he grumbles good morning, or I think it is what he said. We walk towards the dining room and see that Katniss is already there eating. We join her and quickly eat. After seeing Haymitch eat several bowls of stew, he looks at us and says.

"So, let's get down to business. Training. First off, if you like, I'll coach you separately. Decide now."

"Why would you coach us separately?" asks Katniss.

"Say if you had a secret skill you might not want the other to know about," says Haymitch.

"I don't have any secret skills," I tell Haymitch "And I already know what yours is, right? I mean, I've eaten enough of your squirrels."

She looks at me puzzled but tells Haymitch "You can coach us together."

"All right, so give me some idea of what you can do?" says Haymitch.

What I can do? I think. Well there really isn't anything that I can do.

"I can't do anything," I tell him. "Unless you count baking bread."

"Sorry I don't. Katniss. I already know you're handy with a knife," says Haymitch.

"Not really. But I can hunt," She tells Haymitch. "With a bow and arrow."

"And you're good?" asks Haymitch.

"I'm all right." She says.

What is she doing, if Haymitch is going to help us he has to know what we are truly good at.

"She's excellent." I tell Haymitch. "My father buys her squirrels. He always comments on how the arrows never pierce the body. She hits everyone in the eye. It's the same with the rabbits she sells the butcher. She can even bring down deer."

She looks at me, with a look of suspicion in her eyes and says "what are you doing?"

"What are you doing? If he's going to help you, he has to know what you're capable of. Don't underrate yourself," I tell her.

"What about you? I've seen you in the market. You can lift hundred-pound bags of flour, tell him that. That's not nothing." She snaps at me.

"Yes, and I'm sure that the arena will be full of bags of flour for me to chuck at people. It's not like being able to use a weapon. You know it isn't." I tell her.

"He can wrestle," She tells Haymitch. "He came in second in our school competition last year, only after his brother."

She really has paid attention to me. I wonder why has she taken such an interest in know that I can lift heavy bags of flour, or that I can wrestle.

"What use is that? How many times have you seen someone wrestle someone to death?" I tell her.

"There's always hand-to-hand combat. All you need is to come up with a knife and you'll at least stand a chance. If I get jumped, I'm dead!" She starts to yell.

"But you won't! You be living up in the tree eating raw squirrels and picking off people with arrows. You know what my mother said to me when she came to say good-bye, as if to cheer me up, she says maybe District Twelve will finally have a winner. Then I realized, she didn't mean me, she meant you!" I tell her.

"Oh, she meant you," She tells me.

"She said, 'She's a survivor, that one' She is," I tell her. The thought of it, makes me angry and sad. Now everyone knows that even my own mother doesn't think I can, so what does it matter what kind of skills I have.

"But only because someone helped me." She tells me looking down at the roll of bread in her hands. Could it be that she still remembers that day? I wonder if it meant as much as it did to me.

It was around the end of March, the same year that Katniss's father died. It was raining hard that afternoon and I can remember thinking to myself that I didn't see Katniss earlier in school that day. I was in the bakery finishing up the breads for the following day, when I hear my mother yelling at the back door. I walked slowly to the back door, when I spot her slowly walking back from the trash bin.

My heart sank as I realized that she was looking for food. My mother had felt my presence turned around and yelled at me to go back inside. I stood by the window as my mother closed the door and could see her make her way to the pig pen to the old apple tree. She just sat there.

All of the sudden my mother yells, "Did you finish tomorrow's bread?"

I walked back to the oven and place the bread on the lower rack closet to the fire, but only at the edge. I knew that if I could burn a piece of the bread my mother would tell me to throw it out.

"What are you doing?!" She yells at me, as I feel the hard slap of the rolling pin hit me on the cheek. I can only remember seeing stars and I can feel the bruise starting to swell, but I knew that it was worth it.

I walked outside towards the trash bin, "feed it to the pig, you stupid creature! Why not? No one decent will buy burned bread!" She yelled at me.

I walk in the rain towards the pig and tore off the burnt part of the bread and tossed it to the pig. Just then I hear the bakery bell rung, and knew that my mother would go help the customer who had just walked in. I glance back to make sure that my mother had left.

I turned back and threw the good parts of the bread towards Katniss. I wish I could have gone up to her and given it to her, but couldn't risk getting another bruise from my mother. So I quickly turned around and went back inside.

"People will help you in the arena. They'll be tripping over each other to sponsor you." I tell her.

"No more than you," She tells me trying to comfort me.

I look to Haymitch, "She has no idea. The effect she can have."

"Well then. Well, well, well. Katniss, there's no guarantee they'll be bows and arrows in the arena, but during your private session with the Gamemakers, show them what you can do. Until then, stay clear of archery. Are you any good at trapping?" says Haymitch.

"I know a few basic snares," She tells him.

"That may be significant in terms of food, and Peeta, she's right, never underestimate strength in the arena. Very often, physical power tilts the advantage to a player. In the Training Center, they will have weights, but don't reveal how much you can lift in front of the other tributes. The plan's the same for both of you. You go to group training. Spend the time trying to learn something you don't know. Throw a spear. Swing a mace. Learn to tie a decent knot. Save showing what you're best at until private sessions. Are we clear?" says Haymitch. We both nod.

"One last thing. In public, I want you by each other's side every minute," says Haymitch. We both start to object but Haymitch yells back "every minute! It's not open for discussion! You agreed to do as I said! You will be together, you will appear amiable to each other. Now get out. Meet Effie at the elevator at ten for training."

We walk back to the rooms and I can hear that Katniss is not happy at all. I was only trying to help. I didn't mean to upset her. She doesn't realize that out of both of us, she has the best chance of winning. I am guessing it is like the kids that the Capitol caught in the woods she told me about. Instead I am the one that the Capitol is trying to kill and she is mad at herself because I don't want her to help me.

It is almost ten and I meet Effie at the entry to our floor. Katniss joins us a couple of minutes later but doesn't make eye contact with either of us. Not one word to me or Effie. I guess she is still angry. We get into the elevator and Effie presses the "B" button. The elevator goes below the lobby level and opens at the gymnasium level.

We walk off the elevator and for the first time we see the other tributes up close. They pin a cloth square on the back of our tunics with the number _12_ on it.

We join the rest of the tributes in the circle and a very tall, athletic woman steps up and explains the schedule. In each station there is an expert. We are free to go to whichever station we want. We are told not to engage with other tributes that there are assistants for that.

I look around the room and see that the tributes are looking at both Katniss and me. I can tell we are not making any friends especially with the fact of the opening ceremony. The four tributes from 1, and 2 you can tell they have been preparing for this moment for a while. Back in our district we call them Career Tributes or just Careers.

I nudge Katniss "where would you like to start?"

"Suppose we tie some knots." She tells me.

We spend the next hour just trying to learn how to tie knots that would help us in the Hunger Games. I focus on different types of knots and by the time we master them. I look to Katniss with an accomplished smile. She asks me where I want to go. I tell her how about camouflage.

It is just like I pictured painting would be. All the different colors I get to mix and match to make it seem like I am part of the background. The trainer at the station smiles at me and praises the work I am doing. Even Katniss looks on admiring the use of color.

"I do the cakes," I tell her.

"The cakes?" She asks. "What cakes?"

"At home. The iced ones, for the bakery," I tell her. She carefully examines the work that I have done and tells me.

"It's lovely. If only you could frost someone to death." She tells me critically.

"Don't be so superior. You can never tell what you'll find in the arena. Say it's actually a gigantic cake –" I tell her before she interrupts me

"Say we move on,"

We continue to the different stations. Katniss sure knows her edible plant test. I honestly don't know much about the different plants and which are edible and which are poisonous.

"How do you know which one is poisonous" I ask her.

"Well you have to really take a look to what the animals eat and which one they don't." She tells me.

"Is that from all the time you were in the forest hunting?" I ask her.

She nods. I have always wanted to go outside of the fence back in our District.

"What's it like? You know, being outside the fence." I ask her. "I have always wondered about going outside and would spend hours just staring outside the fence. Once I even walk down to an area called the Meadow. It is in the Seam."

She looks at me with a shock face. "You have been to the Seam?" She asks.

"Well sometimes I go down there on my walks. I would get into arguments sometimes with my mother and well once I decided to just walk until I couldn't anymore." I tell her. "So what's it like?"

"Well at first it wasn't so much the wonderment that you think it is. I really had to go out to survive. Not just me, but my little sister and my mother was counting on me," says Katniss.

"Well I have always wanted to go, it seem just so much more freeing." I admit to her.

We move onto the hand-to-hand combat station. It was great to see that I would be good at something other than the camouflage. At first they bring an attendant that is the same weight as me. We scuffle for a little bit, and I have him down to a point where he can't move.

After a couple stronger heavier attendants, I am almost to double my weight and supposed strength, when Katniss approaches and tells me.

"Remember what Haymitch said about showing your strength? People are looking." She tells me.

Then she mouths "told you so," in reference to the conversation of my strength being something that can help me. I just nod and say "ok don't rub it in."

Most of the next two days goes by and we both get better as they always say, practice makes perfect.

Our days are like this. We eat breakfast and dinner in our floors, but lunch we eat in a dining room off the gymnasium.

Most of the time when we were in the dining room, the Careers from 1, 2 and even the tributes from 4 would eat together and would pretend that we don't even exist, although sometimes they would glance our way.

We would pretend to have pleasant conversation during lunch. I learned about the time that Katniss was chased by a bear.

On the night of the second day, you can tell that it is taking its toll on us. Haymitch has been questioning us about everything, who was watching us, what did they do, have we gotten the attention of the Gamemakers. What we should do, what we shouldn't do. It is frustrating to say the least.

"Someone ought to get Haymitch a drink." I tell her.

She laughs at me and then in a quick second looks at me with this dead serious look and says "Don't. Don't let's pretend when there's no one around."  
Everyone is on edge and I guess even Katniss is as well. I am tired of walking on egg shells with everyone. The whole game, of doing this, and saying that, and not doing this, it can get enough to make you just give up.

"All right Katniss," I tell her. "We will only talk when the other Tributes are around us."

The third day of the training came around and we are all a little bit nervous. Today is the day for our private sessions with the Gamemakers. They will call us in one by one and gauge our strengths. In lunch time none of the tributes are talking which I think goes well with the whole walking on egg shells.

One by one the tributes go in and no one comes back to the dining room after they are done. All of sudden, I hear my name being called and get up to leave.

Katniss reminds me "remember what Haymitch said about being sure to throw the weights."

"Thanks I will. You…shoot straight" I tell her.

I walk into the gymnasium and can see that the Gamemakers are all singing some song. I approach the middle of the room and state my name and District.

"Peeta Mellark, District 12." I tell them.

I walk over to the weights, pick the fifty pound kettle balls and from the middle of the room I toss it about fifty feet away. I look up and see that only a couple of Gamemakers are paying attention.

Probably if I pick up heavier weights, I think. I pick up the seventy five and toss it towards the rack filled with the swords and shatter them with a big thump. Nothing. I cannot believe that these men have my life in their hands and they are not even paying attention. Probably if I toss one at them that would get their attention I think to myself. Well it would but then again it would get me killed in an instant. I just stare at them, wishing I could scream, wishing I could just let them know that they are not gods.

They look at me after a couple more tries and tell me "that is all. Thank you, you are excused."

What else can I do, but say "thank you" and walk out. I stand at the cross roads, I knew I was kidding myself. My mother was right, who am I to think that I had a chance to win. The Gamemakers more than likely saw far more impressive things before me. I was just someone who tossed weights around.


	8. Chapter 8

Riding up the elevator feels as long as the day that we were at the Justice building. Now what? I think to myself. Typically the Gamemakers would score us a rating between 1 and 12. The higher the number the more sponsor you would typically get. I am as appealing to the Gamemakers as the weights that I was throwing. I am sure to have either one sponsor or none at all.

The door opens and I see Haymitch.

He says, "Well?"

I shake my head, and say "not good."

Before he can continue to ask me questions, I walk down the hall way and up the stairs to the roof. I need time to think, on how to approach this. I sit down against the tree in the garden. The soft breeze calms me for a little bit and I think of home.

I remember once when I was around six. My father had a very long day at the bakery. It was during the time of the Harvest Festival. It is always bittersweet because the Harvest Festival typically occurs mid-year when the Hunger Games had just concluded.

The day was almost ending when he heard a family walking into the bakery. It turns out that he knew them, as the family that had just lost their son in that year Hunger Games. You can tell that the mother of the son was still grieving, from the blood shot eyes. The father who is an older gentleman is holding the mother trying to console her.

I peek around the counter to see that my father was trying to speak to them about how they were doing. He sits them down in the kitchen table to try to comprehend what they are going through. I see that he wants to help them in anyway they can. He grabs a couple of loaves and a couple of cookies from the batch that was going to the Harvest Festival and hands it to them. They politely accept the gesture and walk outside the bakery.

He walks them out and comes back to the table and sits lonely at the table. I come up to him and ask.

"Papa, why are you sad?" I ask him, not knowing back then what I know right now.

"I am ok, son, I want you to know that I love you with all my heart, remember that." He tells me.

"I love you, papa, but why was the family crying?" I ask him.

"They lost their son," he says.

"Well let's go find him for them, so that he wouldn't be lost anymore." I tell him.

He smiles and hugs me. "You have a good heart. I know that you would do the right thing, to try and stop them from being sad."

We walked outside and just sat on the back porch looking out.

I can still feel him sometimes. Just like now, as I sit against the tree. It is like he is there with me. I know that although my family will miss me, I have to try and stop the hurting for her family. They need her more than my family would need me.

I stand up and just say thank you to the memory of my father, and know what I must do.

Walking down I can feel a little bit better. Coming to terms with it makes it more bearable. I walk down the corridor only to find both Haymitch and Effie knocking at Katniss's door. I can hear her telling them to go away. By this time Cinna and Portia had arrived and are waiting for us for Dinner.

The dinner tonight is a fish soup. I don't really care much for fish soup, but like with everything in the Capitol, it still tastes delicious. I can see that Katniss face is red and splotchy, from crying. So I look to her and gesture to her, _what happened?_ She just shakes her head.

Finally Haymitch breaks the ice.

"Okay, enough small talk, just how bad were you today?"

I know he wasn't referring to me, but I answer anyways, "I don't know that it mattered. By the time I showed up, no one even bothered to look at me. They were singing some kind of drinking song, I think. So, I threw around some heavy objects until they told me I could go."

"And you sweetheart?" asks Haymitch.

She looked up from her bowl and says almost filled with pride. "I shot an arrow at the Gamemakers."

I wanted to pat her on the back, for doing the one thing that I couldn't, but wanted to. The horror on the faces of everyone, makes it seem like she did something that would end the whole world.

"You what?" asks Effie.

"I shot an arrow at them. Not exactly at them. In their direction. It's like Peeta said, I was shooting and they were ignoring me and I just … I just lost my head, so I shot an apple out of their stupid roast pig's mouth." She says almost puffing her chest.

"And what did they say?" Cinna asks calmly.

"Nothing. Or I don't know. I walked out after that." She responds.

"Without being dismissed?" Effie says like it was the worst thing she did.

"I dismissed myself," She says.

"Well, that's that," says Haymitch. He continues to eat.

"What about my family?" She tells him. "Will they punish them?"

"Don't think so. Wouldn't make much sense. See they'd have to reveal what happened in the Training Center for it to have any worthwhile effect on the population. People would need to know what you did. But they can't since it's secret, so it'd be a waste of effort," says Haymtich. "More likely they'll make your life hell in the arena."

"Well, they've already promised to do that to us any way," I tell her.

"Very true" says Haymitch.

I can see that the fear has gone from Katniss face, or at least she has hidden it well.

"What were their faces like?" Haymitch asks.

A smile creeps through her face as she said "shocked, Terrified. Uh, ridiculous some of them. One man tripped backward into a bowl of punch."

We all have a good laugh at the reaction the Gamemakers had. It is great to see someone finally put them in their place. Can only imagine how much Haymitch would have loved to have seen it for himself. I always wondered how Haymitch was when he was in the Hunger Games. Was he like the Careers, because he sure acts like it? Is it something that one can convey as a persona and really be completely different, I wonder. I will have to ask Haymitch on that.

"Well, it serves them right. It's their job to pay attention to you. And just because you come from District Twelve is no excuse to ignore you." Says Effie, almost defending us. "I'm sorry, but that's what I think."

Even in her own way, Effie is behind us, although not totally. It is like a little puppy that barks at a large man trying to rob you.

"I'll get a very bad score." She says.

"Scores only matter if they're very good, no one pays much attention to the bad or mediocre ones. For all they know, you could be hiding your talents to get a low score on purpose. People use that strategy." Portia says.

Never see a strategy like that work. Do your worst so that you get no sponsorships. The only way I think it would work, is if you do not need sponsors because your talents overshadow the need for help. In my case I know that I will probably get a low score, I mean no one was even paying attention to me.

I can still see it the look at their eyes. The look of unimpressed, at someone just throwing things around, how very common I think they must imagine. Probably if I lit them on fire and then threw it, might have been more memorable.

"I hope that's how people interpret the four I'll probably get," I say, "If that. Really, is anything less impressive than watching a person pick up a heavy ball and throw it a couple of yards. One almost landed on my foot."

Katniss smiles at me almost like a thank you for cheering her up. She starts to eat and I guess her appetite is back. We all are a little bit more comfortable. Almost like it took away the reality of what happens in the next couple of days.

After dinner we all walk to the sitting room to show the scores from the private sessions. Haymitch tells us that typically the Career tributes score high and the rest of us would score average around a five. The little girl that comes from District Eleven actually scored a seven. It must have been something to see, to score a seven, wonder what she did. Before I can even think I see my picture come onto the screen and the number eight.

Well I guess I impressed a few of the Gamemakers. I smile to Katniss almost proud of my eight, when I see her picture and the number eleven, and know that her shooting at the apple was the correct route to go.

"There must be a mistake. How… how could that happen?" She asks Haymitch.

"Guess they liked your temper," he tells her. "They've got a show to put on. They need some players with some heat."

"Katniss, the girl who was on fire," says Cinna. "Oh, wait until you see your interview dress."

"More flames?" She asks.

"Of a sort," says Cinna.

I congratulate Katniss on her getting an eleven. She does the same before retreating to her room. I look towards Haymitch and ask to speak with him privately.

"Sure kid, let's talk," says Haymitch.

We walk towards a conference room, and close the door behind us.

"So have you decided?" He asks.

"On what?" I respond.

"If you would hesitate? If you are the fool or not." he says.

"I know my chances are not the greatest even with the eight that I got. Let's be honest, out of both of us we would both bet that Katniss would have the best chance to win." I tell him.

He asks. "Why do you care if Katniss wins?"

"Well because her family needs her more." I tell her.

"So I guess you are an orphan and have no family to come back to? Probably it is more than that I think," He tells me.

"Well no, I just know that no one would miss me if I didn't make it," I tell him.

"So this is the angle, the lovesick boy in love with the girl from the other side of the track," He states framing the moment.

"Love? Um.. no.. not love, I want her to live, because she is needed." I stammer out.

"Boy you are not fooling anyone. I know how you look at her. I had suspected as such, but not until now have you confirmed what I already knew." He tells me. "That my boy would make sure that she has the best chance."

"We cannot tell her this," I tell him.

"We will just say that you want to be coach separately," says Haymitch. "Let me handle this."

"Your right, I am a fool," I tell him and walk out the door.

I know I care about her, but love? I want her to be happy, and to be able to take care of her sister and her mother. It isn't love; it is knowing the value of someone. My father and mother have each other and my father can take care of my brothers. I am not saying that I am not valuable, but I know that if Katniss does not have the opportunity to live, her family will suffer, just like that family that came into the bakery.

I can still hear the voice of my father echo through my dreams. "You have a good heart. I know that you would do the right thing, to try and stop them from being sad." I want to stop her family from being sad, from losing her.

I wake up early morning and just stare out the window. I see the sun rise from behind the mountains and know that my decision yesterday was the correct one. I hope my family thinks the same.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

So I get up and walk up stairs to my tree on the roof. I imagine what she might think of me now. How I cannot explain it because she wouldn't understand or accept it. Probably I can't do much but I know that this is the right choice.

I pick out some of the floors just growing nearby. Hold it, and just think, it is for the best. I have no regrets. I walk back downstairs and find that Katniss had just left with Effie for presentation training.

I see Haymitch and he tells me "okay, let's get started."

"The next four hours is about getting your presentation to say exactly what we want it to."

"Ok, so what do we want it to say?" I ask.

"First let's get a little bit of background to see what I am working with," he says. "I am going to ask you questions like an interview and I want you to just act like you normally would, and see what we have."

'So Peeta, tell me a little bit about your family,'

"Well I am the youngest of three boys, my family we own the local bakery," I tell Haymitch.

'The youngest of the three, it must not be easy sometimes,' says Haymitch.

"Well it has it ups and downs," I tell him.

"See right there, you have lost the audience. You have to be able to lock in the audience. These shallow answers don't let me know who you are. If you want my help, you have to let go," He tells me.

"Well what do you want me to say," I ask him.

"No it isn't what I want, it is what is real," he tells me raising his voice. "Forget it, it seems that you are not serious about this at all."

Upset I put my hands down on the table and say, "Alright. I am always getting the hand me downs, the last one to get to use the only shower, and with the fact that we have limited towels, I always seem to get the wet one at the end. I think my brothers sometimes do it on purpose." I tell him. "Is that what you wanted to hear, 'how my mother beats on me because she says I deserve it for causing her so much pain in child birth,'" I tell him. "What does it help me to show how pathetic I am?"

"It connects with the audience, moron. It shows them that you are a human being," He tells me. "When I had to do many years ago, I went with the cocky, better than everyone approach, because well, I was, and I am still am better than all of those, after all I ended up winning."

'Winning' he repeats. "Odd word, if you can call this winning."

'Let's move on, shall we,' he says. 'Tell me a happy memory.'

"Happy memory," I pause. "Well once I remember a time that I was at school. We were in the auditorium and the whole class was there. Every year at the beginning of the school year, we all get together in the auditorium and well this year, my father walked me to school that day, and just then as we were waiting for the presentation to start.

I caught this little girl walk by me, she had a red plaid dress. He looked at me for a moment and just then he said, 'see that little girl? I wanted to marry her mother, but she ran off with a coal miner.' I couldn't believe it, but he told me that the coal miner gave her something that he could never.

Well that day in the assembly, one of the teachers asked 'who knows the valley song?' You know that little girl with the plaid dress? She raised her hand and sang the song. That is my happy memory." I tell him.

"Let me guess this little girl had her hair in a braid?" He asks.

"No," I tell him. "Back then she had it in two braids."

"That is it, this is how you will present yourself." Haymitch tells me. "Get them to fall in love with you with a joke, or something to bring them a sense of ease. Then it is almost certain that they will ask a private question, you just have to make it about her. That is the best way to help you and her." He tells me.

The next couple of hours we talk about life back in District Twelve, before it is lunch time and we have to switch.

The next four hours I spend with Effie, was as bad as hearing my mother yell at me. We practice on how to smile and how to walk with confidence.

"You have to enunciate you words, from your diaphragm. Not from your throat," she tells me.

"How do you speak from your 'diaphragm' is it?"

"It comes from here," says Effie, and points at below my ribs. "You project your words with confidence and the sponsor will see you as a strong charismatic man."

We finish up with how to laugh in a way that puts people at ease and Effie seems please and says that I am a natural.

It is time for dinner and we walk to the dining room. It seems that it is only Haymitch, Effie and I tonight. Haymitch seems a little bit upset and I guessing the reason why Katniss is not here has something to do with it.

I quickly eat and walk back to my room. I am a little bit relieved that Katniss wasn't at the dining room; I don't know how to face her yet. I don't know how she would react, but I would have to face her sooner or later.

It is morning when I see that Portia and my prep team has come early to get to work on me. My prep team scrubs my skin raw before they apply a very smelly lotion. They tell me not to move for the next 20 minutes. So there I am, naked in my room standing in goop that stinks. Yes I feel beautiful.

Portia comes and by then the goop has dried and my skin oddly enough feels soft to the touch. She hands me a black suit with sharp lines.

"Wanted to get the crowd to focus on your face today, and what you would say," She tells me. "Interviews are about instilling confidence, and nothing says confidence as a sharp black suit."

We walk towards the elevator and that is when I catch Katniss's eyes. You can tell that her eyes says it all, betrayal. I want to tell her the full story but can't. So I just stand next to her quietly in the elevator. We walk outside like two strangers, and that is when Haymitch comes behind us.

"Remember, you're still a happy pair. So act like it.," He tells us both.

As we walk out I can tell that Katniss does not like this idea one bit. We walk onto the stage and the amount of people that surround us is daunting. We sit on the stage all the tributes.

Caesar Flickerman walks onto the stage. I have seen Caesar doing this interview all my life. He has powdered white makeup on with blue hair. The suit is the same color as the hair. The things people consider fashionable I tell you.

One by one, it feels like the private session all over again. Waiting to impress someone, but now it is the sponsors and the millions of people who are watching all over Panem now.

They call Katniss up and as she walks I can see it happening again, the same thing that happened in the opening ceremony. Everything goes quiet and time slows down. I can see every strand of hair as she makes her way up to the seat.

I can see her lips moving but cannot hear anything. I close my eyes as to try and focus. When I open them, it is a rush of sound that invades my ears.

"The lamb stew," she says and everyone begins to laugh. I look around the crowd and find that Cinna, Portia, are sitting in the crowd.

"You mean after I got over my fear of being burned alive?" says Katniss.

She must be talking about that opening ceremony. I can just remember it now, the fire dancing behind her hair, igniting her eyes.

"I thought Cinna was brilliant," she tells Caesar. "and it was the most gorgeous costume I'd ever seen and I couldn't believe I was wearing it. I can't believe I'm wearing this either, I mean look at it." She shows the dress to Caesar as she stands up.

What happened next I can hardly even describe it. Katniss starts to spin around and fire started to come out of the dress and it seemed like it was being engulfed in fire. Cinna has done it again, Katniss has stolen the moment and everyone will be talking about her.

She stops and Caesar has to catch her from falling. They talk about the training score and Caesar tries to get Katniss to open up on what happened in the private session, which she politely declines.

"Let's go back then, to the moment they called your sister's name at the reaping, and you volunteered. Can you tell us about her?" asks Caesar.

"Her name's Prim. She's just twelve. And I love her more than anything." She tells Caesar, almost like trying not letting anyone in.

"What did she say to you?" He asked.

"She asked me to try really hard to win." Says Katniss.

"And what did you say?" asks Caesar.

"I swore I would." Says Katniss.

And with the buzzer rings and three minutes has just passed.

I take a deep breath and walk towards Caesar.

"I am sorry Caesar, my clothes does not sprout fire, but I can do a mean magic trick with the handkerchiefs," I tell him.

A round of laughter comes out.

"So Peeta, I hear that you have each tribute pegged by the type of bread?" He asks.

"Well yes, it is an interesting this about bread, being the son of a baker I learned a lot about bread, although I never get to eat it." I tell him.

Caesar laughs along with the crowd. This is it, control the crowd, Peeta. A couple more and then Caesar turns it personal, I can see it coming.

"Hey Caesar, I have been trying to find the manual for the showers here, do you know where I can find a copy? The last button I push has me smelling like roses," I tell him. "Tell me, do I still smell like roses?"

"Well just a reminder that a woman like a man who can smell like roses, well at least here in the Capitol," Caesar says laughing. "Tell me Peeta, do you have a special girl in your life?"

I shake my head no.

"Handsome lad like you. There must be some special girl. Come on, what's her name?" says Caesar.

Here goes nothing. "Well, there is this one girl. I've had a crush on her ever since I can remember. But I'm pretty sure she didn't know I was alive until the reaping." I tell him lowering my voice.

"She have another fellow?" asks Caesar.

"I don't know, but a lot of boys like her." I tell him.

"So, here's what you do. You win, you go home. She can't turn you down then, eh?" Caesar tells me patting me on the back.

"I don't think it's going to work out. Winning… won't help in my case." I tell him.

"Why ever not?" says Caesar.

It is the moment of truth. All the preparation with Haymitch was for this moment right here and I can tell that all the practice would not make this even remotely easier. I remember how I wanted to do it.

It was going to be right after the reaping. I was going to ask Katniss's little sister Prim if she wanted some cookies I baked. Of course Katniss would be with her, and I would give her some too. The design of the dandelion I was hoping would get her attention and remind her of me.

That didn't happen, and well it would never happen. Tomorrow we are going into the arena, where I am more than likely going to die. The happy ever after would never come for me. But at least now, I can tell her, well at least she will know.

"Because… because… she came here with me."


	10. Chapter 10

PART II

"THE GAMES"

Chapter Ten

The weight of the answer begins to take it toll on me. I just want to stare at the floor for a while. Effie would have a fit on my current presentation while Haymitch would be cheering me on.

I wanted to tell her since the first moment I met her, but I couldn't. Everyday I knew exactly when she would come by the bakery, so I would make sure that I would be there. Ever single time she walked by I knew it.

I had just lied on national TV about feeling I had for Katniss. I didn't have a crush on her; I actually knew that I loved her. My mother would definitely say that my head was in the clouds and that I could never know what love is.

I can still hear her singing when we were both five years old. The red plaid dress, I know that we would never have a future, so what does it matter if I say it now. How can it harm anyone?

"Oh, that is a piece of bad luck," says Caesar.

"It's not good," I tell him.

"Well, I don't think any of us can blame you. It'd be hard not to fall for that young lady," says Caesar. "She didn't know?"

"Not until now," I nod no.

"Wouldn't you love to pull her back out here and get a response? Sadly, rules are rules, and Katniss Everdeen's time has been spent. Well, best of luck to you, Peeta Mellark, and I think I speak for all of Panem when I say our hearts go with yours," says Caesar.

The crowd begins to cheer in agreement, and it goes on for a couple of minutes before they settle down.

"Thank you," I tell them, as I return to my seat. The anthem plays and we all walk back to into the Training Center lobby.

I can see that Katniss is quickly moving through the crowd trying to put distance between us. I want to explain myself; I want to let her know that I didn't mean any harm by it. Before I can make it to the elevator I see that she has already gotten on one.

As I walk through the crowd, I can see the faces of understanding, from the crowd. I wait for the next one to come and get on the elevator.

I walk off the elevator and immediately am shoved into an urn. The urn shatters and the sharp pieces I can feel have cut into my hands. I can see that the cuts have freely let my blood run.

I look at up at her and say "what was that for?"

"You had no right! No right to go saying those things about me!" She shouts at me.

The elevator opens and Effie, Portia, Haymitch and Cinna walk out the elevator.

"What's going on? Did you fall?" Effie asks me as both Cinna and Effie help me up.

"After she shoved me," I tell Effie.

"Shoved him?" Haymitch asks Katniss.

"This was your idea, wasn't it? Turning me into some kind of fool in front of the entire country?" She asks Haymitch.

"It was my idea," I tell her, as I pull out the shards of pottery. "Haymitch just helped me with it."

"Yes, Haymitch is very helpful. To you!" She says accusing him.

"You _are _a fool," Haymitch tells her walking towards her. "Do you think he hurt you? That boy just gave you something you could never achieve on your own."

"He made me look weak!" She says.

"He made you look desirable! And let's face it, you can use all the help you can get in that department. You were about as romantic as dirt until he said he wanted you. Now they all do. You're all they're talking about. The star-crossed lovers from District Twelve!" says Haymitch.

"But we're not star-crossed lovers!" She retorts.

"Who cares?" He says as he pins her again the wall. "It's all a big show. It's all how you're perceived. The most I could say about you after your interview was that you were nice enough, although that in itself was a small miracle. Now I can say you're a heartbreaker. Oh, oh, oh, how the boys back home fall longingly at your feet. Which do you think will get you more sponsors?"

Cinna reassures Katniss, "He's right, Katniss."

"I should have been told, so I didn't look so stupid." She reacts.

"No, your reaction was perfect. If you'd known, it wouldn't have read as real," Portia tells her.

"She's just worried about her boyfriend," I tell her. That is the real reason, why doesn't she just admit it. I was a fool to believe that we would end up together. Here I was beating myself over how she would react, and she is more preoccupied with how he would react to it.

"I don't have a boyfriend." She snaps at me.

"Whatever, but I bet he's smart enough to know a bluff when he sees it. Besides _you_ didn't say you loved _me. _So what does it matter?"

I wasn't expecting a reaction like this. It caught me by surprise. It isn't like she is left vulnerable, if anything it left me naked before her. It really doesn't matter; she probably thinks it is some sort of trick to get sponsors.

For me it is more than that, it is my way of saying goodbye, to my family. My father knows that since the age of five I have loved this little girl. He knew it the moment I asked him to give her the cookies I had made for her. He knows that I would do anything now to protect her, and for her to survive. This was my way of saying this to him, that I have made my decision. That I wasn't going to fight to survive but fight for her to. I have loved her always even though she didn't feel the same.

"After he said he loved me, did you think I could be in love with him too?" She asks Portia.

"I did," Portia said. "The way you avoided looking at the cameras, the blush."

"Definitely," Cinna tells her.

"You're golden sweetheart. You're going to have sponsors lined up around the block," says Haymitch.

She looks at me, almost too embarrassed to make eye contact. "I'm sorry I shoved you."

"Doesn't matter, although it's technically illegal." I tell her.

"Are your hands okay?" She asks me.

"They'll be all right." I tell her.

After a while of silence, the tension has dissipated from the room and Haymitch says "come on, let's eat."

I sit down and realize that the bleeding hasn't stopped, so I ask Portia if she could help me. We walk down to my room and Portia removes a first aid kit from the hidden wall in my room.

"You mean there are hidden things in my room?" I ask her.

She just laughs, "believe me it took me a while to find all the little things that this floor has to offer. We really don't need to go anywhere if we don't have to," She tells me.

She grabs a spray bottle and spray's on my hands. I can see that the bleeding slowly stops although the cuts are still there.

"That is amazing," I tell her.

"This medicine was made here in the Capitol, it is meant for cuts, basically slows down the blood so that the body has time to heal the cuts," she tells me.

"You would think that the cuts would heal," I ask her.

"Well they have much stronger medicines for deeper cuts, although it is hard to find and very expensive," She tells me.

She wraps my hands in bandages, and tells me not to get into wrestling match with Katniss or the blood would start to flow again.

We come back to the dining room and find that everyone is almost finishing with their meal. I quickly finish my meal in order to watch the replay with the group. I catch Katniss through my soup looking at me with a sense of guilt. I guess she catches my bandages and know that the cuts were more serious than first thought.

We watch the replay of the interviews and can't help but wonder what effects would happen with the sponsor on my declaration of love for Katniss. She simply looked beautiful. Cinna really does a good job with the dress. Although she may think it is too girly for her tough hunter mentality, I think she is beautiful. Even when she was talking about her little sister, I can tell that out of the walls that Katniss puts up; this moment in the interview was her. I quickly dab the tear that was forming in my eyes by yawning and rubbing my eyes.

We say our goodbyes to Effie and Haymitch as well knowing that they would not be following us to the arena but will be at the Games Headquarters signing up our sponsors. It seems that Effie is more pre-occupied about herself than us, because she says "I wouldn't be at all surprised if I finally get promoted to a decent district next year!" She kisses us each on the cheek and quickly hurries out.

Haymitch looks at us not much for goodbyes, so I ask.

"Any final words of advice?"

"When the gong sounds, get the hell out of there. You're neither of you up to the blood bath at the Cornucopia. Just clear out, put as much distance as you can between yourselves and the others, and find a source of water," he says. "Got it?"

"And after that?" Katniss asks.

"Stay alive," says Haymitch. We nod. Katniss departs to her room, while I stay and talk to Portia.

"Wanted to say thank you for all you have done for me," I tell her.

I can see that Portia is an emotional person because she starts to sniff. I hand her my handkerchief and ask that she please not cry.

"We will see each other tomorrow," I tell her. "There is a lot that although you did not realize you showed me. I don't really have a good memory of my mother back home but I know that if you do have kids, that you would be a great one." I say as I look down at my bandages.

"Peeta, I really hope that she gets to know you, you are a wonderful person and anyone would be lucky to know you," She tells me.

"Well I don't think my mother would get the chance, but…" I say until I am interrupted.

"Silly boy, I am not talking about your mother," she tells me with a smile. "I know how you look at her sometimes. You are fooling no one with the 'strategy' that you and Haymitch came up with."

I blush and say, "well let's hope that you are the only one that figured it out."

She kisses me in the forehead, and say until tomorrow. She walks out the room and I am found thinking of home. I lie down and just stare at the ceiling like I would do back at home, when I realized that I am not going to be able to sleep.

I walk upstairs to the roof and just stand at the railing, listening to the festival music downstairs. There are horns and I can barely make out the laughing and singing of people.

It reminds me of a tradition we had back home. Every year my family would pick one day, to celebrate all of our birthdays. We didn't have much so birthdays we would celebrate together on one day, although sometimes my father would sneak out a cupcake with a candle on my birthday.

On that one day where we would get together, we would sing songs and cheer each other on. It was one of the happiest times each year. As the years came and went, it became a little bit harder to find something to cheer for, but my father always would get us together on the day that we chose. We would get one of the nice cakes from the front display and each one would place a candle on the cake. We would make a wish each one of us. It is silly I know, but we would always just hold hands at the end, just so that we were together.

I wonder what they will do this year. One less candle I guess.

I hear a soft voice behind me, "you should be getting some sleep,"

"I didn't want to miss the party. It's for us, after all."

She comes next to me, and she leans over trying to make out the noise below. "Are they in costumes?" She asks.

"Who could tell? With all the crazy clothes they were here." I tell her. "Couldn't sleep, either?"

"Couldn't turn my mind off," she tells me.

"Thinking about your family?" I ask her.

"No, all I can do is wonder about tomorrow. Which is pointless, of course."

She looks at my hands, which I have been trying to warm through the bandages. "I really am sorry about your hands." She tells me.

"It doesn't matter, Katniss, I've never been a contender in these Games anyway." I tell her truthfully.

"That's no way to be thinking," says Katniss.

"Why not? It's true. My best hope is to not disgrace myself and …"

"And what?" she asks.

"I don't know how to say it exactly. Only … I want to die as myself. Does that make any sense?" I ask.

She nods no.

"I don't want them to change me in there. Turn me into some kind of monster that I'm not." I try to explain to her.

"Do you mean you won't kill anyone?" She asks me.

"No, when the times comes, I'm sure I'll kill just like everybody else. I can't go down without a fight. Only I keep wishing I could think of a way to … to show the Capitol that they don't own me. That I'm more than just a piece in their Games." I tell her.

"But you're not, none of us are. That's how the Games work." She tells me.

"Okay, but within that framework, there's still you, there's still me, don't you see?" I tell her.

"A little. Only… no offense, but who cares Peeta?" she says.

I remember my father telling me to never let anyone change who you are inside, who you are inside matters. That is the one thing the Capitol should never have the ability to take from you. That is the last thing they can steal from you. But they will not get it from me. If I am going to die, I am going to do it on my terms, in my own way.

"I do. I mean, what else am I allowed to care about at this point?" There is nothing left in my current life to care about, just how my memory is perceived. My family I will probably never see again, and that is all that matters to me.

"Care about what Haymitch said. About staying alive." She snaps back at me.

Doesn't she realize that if we are the last ones then one would have to die? "Okay. Thanks for the tip, sweetheart."

"Look, if you want to spend the last hours of your life planning some noble death it the arena, that's your choice. I want to spend mine in District Twelve." She tells me.

"Wouldn't surprise me if you do," I tell her. "Give my mother my best when you make it back, will you?"

"Count on it." She tells me and walks away from the roof.

The determination and I know that she will be the one to give my mother the message. After a couple more minutes I walk back downstairs to my room and just close my eyes, knowing full well that tomorrow starts the fight for her life.

Portia comes to get me in the morning before sunrise. I don't get to see Katniss so I figured that she must have gone before or after me. We walk to the roof and a hovercraft is already waiting for us.

As soon as I touch the stairs to the hovercraft, I feel an electric current paralyze me to the ladder. A woman approaches me and injects something into my forearm.

"Your tracker, Peeta. Stay still." She tells me.

They lower the ladder again and assist Portia into the hovercraft. We eat breakfast on the hovercraft and we chit chat about other things, pretending that we are going to another place and not the arena. She does a very good job of keeping my mind off where we are going, because when I realize where are, we are already landing.

They lower us into the Launch Room. That is what the woman from the Capitol tells me. It is the underground area where the final preparations happen.

Portia hands me my clothes that I am to wear in the arena. "At least we are going to keep the complimentary clothes theme with Katniss as every Tribute is given the same clothes."

I smile and put on, the tawny pants, light green shirt, brown belt, black jacket and black boots.

We sit on the bench waiting for the call. She grabs my hand and knows that although it may not seem like it, I am terrified on the inside. She hums a little melody and it calms me.

"Thank you," I tell her.

"For?" She asks.

"Just in general, you always know what to do." I tell her.

"You try and survive. I know you have a plan, but try and survive, okay Peeta?" She tells me as she tugs on my hand.

I smile and nod. I step onto the platform and can see the glass cylinder begin to come down. Portia gently kisses me on my forehead, and with that the glass cylinder closes around me, and the platform begins to rise.

It is only a couple of seconds when I feel the air, and the smell of pine trees. I look around let my mind take in the surroundings. I can hear the announcer cut into the background.

"Ladies and gentlemen, let the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games begin!"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

The clock reads sixty seconds. That is the time we are needed to be on the platform. One minute, and it feels like an eternity. I can feel the heart beat begin to quicken faster than the clock. I look down and then around to my left and right.

Where is she? Where… is…she? There, I find her to my left, five tributes. She is looking around. The look on her eyes, and I remember where I saw it before, the time before the race. I see the group of tributes fanned out in front of a flat stretch of land. In the center you can see the big horn shape Cornucopia.

In front of the mouth of the Cornucopia are supplies, weapons, among other things. They are more as you get closer to the Cornucopia. The further you get from the Cornucopia the less supplies you have spread out. Behind the Cornucopia there is nothing, so it means that a sharp slope down. To the left I can see the woods. That is where we were told to go. It means that you cannot just go towards the Cornucopia you have to make a decision to either leave without anything, or survive the blood bath.

I know what Haymitch would do; he would definitely go away from the Cornucopia like he told us to do. I look down at Katniss's feet and find that they are not pointed towards a quick escape. It is poised ready to straight in. I quickly look at the clock and see that thirty seconds is left, and she is going in.

I can see that two tributes to the right of her are looking straight at her. Who are those two? I try to remember through they are. It hits me as a ton of bricks, it is the tributes from District 1. Come on Peeta think, what can you do, how can you help. I try to get her attention. I look quickly at the clock and it is at five seconds. Look at me Katniss I want to scream out, and almost like she could have heard me, she finally looks my way and our eyes lock. I quickly shake my head no and mouth "careers" but it seems she like she can't see me because the horn blows and we are off.

I see Katniss take one step towards the Cornucopia but quickly grab a plastic and runs towards the forest. Behind her I can see that the Careers have made a bee-line for her. I turn and see that next to me is a pretty decent size rock. I pick it up and throw as hard as I can towards the boy Career from District 1.

Dead on, I see that I am able to grab his attention because he turns around and starts to come after me. The girl tribute goes to the Cornucopia, killing two tributes along the way. She reaches the bow and arrow placing it on her shoulder. I turn and see that the boy from District 1 is still walking towards me with a wide grin on his face, although I look and he has nothing in his hands, no weapon at all.

This is it, the moment of truth, whether or not this whole hand to hand combat thing comes in handy or not.

Like slow motion, I can see the boy start to swing his left, which I duck and he missed. Not too quick for the right one, as it nails me in the jaw. I grab him against the waist and wrestle him to the ground. I lay in a couple of good shots in the ribs, before he throws me off him. As I am throwing back, he whips out a knife and slashes one of my arms. I get up bleeding from one arm; wipe the blood from my mouth. Slowly I see him get up, not because he is hurt or anything, because just I react, I can hear the ground behind me, and someone has me by the neck.

They jerk me off the ground, and I think this is it. I am pawing at him when I hear the girl from District 2 yell out. "Cato don't kill him, we need him."

"Yeah? How do you figure," I hear him from behind. "I can just snap his neck in this position. Come on you got to kill one, let me kill this one. Please?"

"We can use him for bait … you know for her?" She says.

"Clove you are so twisted." Cato says.

"Bait?" I tell them. "Know this; she will not come to save me. We had a falling out, if anything she will come and kill me."

"You see the bandages on my hand; it was from the glass door that I tossed her through. We had to be separated by a couple Peacekeepers." I tell them.

"Aw, the lovers had a spat?" Clove says sarcastically. "What she do, look at another guy? You the jealous type Twelve or probably she saw you looking at someone else?"

I have to be careful, if I play the Careers and say that my feeling for Katniss was false then, it will hurt Katniss in signing sponsors to help. No, the end game is the same, I have to protect her, help her survive.

"It was my fault, and that is all I will say," I tell them.

"This could be some game you are trying to play." Cato tells me. Guess I wasn't much of a liar. Clove whips out a knife, "are you trying to play us Twelve? Probably I should find out by seeing what under that pretty little face of yours, to see if you are lying. I mean, why should we believe a single word you say?"

"You shouldn't, I know I wouldn't. But if you try to use me as bait, then you will not get her. The only way to get her is to let me track her." I tell them.

"Track? You?" They start laughing. "The master tracker is going to take us to her. You know I just cannot see it. Even if you were trying to hide it from us, we would pick up the hints of a hunter."

"Up to you just know that you will not find her," I tell her.

That is it. All I can come up with in such a short time. I am guessing it is enough because Cato is letting me go, but not before Marvel, I hear his name, strikes me in the ribs hard. I am left on the ground gasping for air.

"That is how you do it, eye for an eye." Marvel says.

"Well your eye … punches like a girl," I tell him getting up.

"Don't worry I will kill you soon enough." He tells me.

I look around and see that there and count, count the bodies of the boys and girls left on the ground. There are eleven, eleven dead. They are just littered around the ground. Blood still comes out of one. Another one is still trying to breathe, gurgling through the blood.

"Well go ahead, twelve kill him, if you want us to believe you." Cato says.

I grab a knife, and hope that the cameras are not pointed towards me. I whisper "I am sorry," to the boy from District 4, and stab him in the heart. The blood on my hands, that is not my own. Will it ever come off? I just stare at it for a while, and see the boy just close his eyes. Just for a second I can see peace in his eyes, almost like they are thanking me for not letting him suffer any longer. I wonder who this boy was; would I be able to say I am sorry to his parents? Would they even accept my apology? Would they see it as a way for him not to suffer?

They push me off the boy and we go to pick up the supplies. We just sit down and all of the sudden, I couple hovercrafts appear out of nowhere and pull up the dead bodies. And like that, the field is cleaned off.

The boy from District 3 is hiding in the back of the Cornucopia. Cato is about to kill him, when he yells out, "I can reactivate the mines."

"Interesting," Cato says, "You can reactivate the mines around the platforms so that they are live again?"

"Yes I can do it, I learned back home when we were deactivating them from the Dark days. My hands were the smallest so I can remove the pin to get to disarm it." He says. "If you let me live that is."

I wonder why this works. Doesn't he know that sooner or later this sort of agreement would have to end? What is his end game? I know that my agreement for my life is just a ruse. As long as I can keep them on the wrong track, probably Katniss can pick them off one by one.

The boy from District three begins to work on the mines while I the rest of us place the supplies and weapons out to see. We grab something to eat from the supplies and I just sit there as they begin to formulate a plan.

"So lover boy," Cato tells me. "Where did she go off to? What is her strategy?"

"Katniss back in District Twelve was a hunter, so her main concern is finding water and food." I tell them. I make sure that I do not mention the fact that she will be in the trees.

So Cato points with his sword to the area where Katniss had run off to.

"We will wait until dark," He says. "Then we will hunt in the cover of darkness."

What an odd thing to say. Most of the time hunters go out in the daylight not at dark. After all how can you see where you are going, or even if the person you are hunting isn't hunting you? I guess we will use flashlights or torches, that would be the logical thing to do, but from the smile from Clove's face I can tell that they have other plans.

We pile the supplies in a pyramid of sort and have the boy from District Three place the mines around the pile. I make a mental note on the placement so that if I need to quickly grab something I can. The boy from District Three is using the stars to guide where to place the mines so that in daylight no one can guess the placement. Pretty smart I think to myself.

I grab myself a knife and a spear, while Cato grabs a sword, couple of knives. Clove has found a vest of knives and puts them on. I remember seeing Clove during our time in the Training Center. She never misses with a knife at about fifteen yards, so I make a mental note to stay behind her a good distance. Marvel, has two spears and a sword, and is practicing wielding the sword around. Glimmer, the girl from District one, has the bow and arrows.

I quickly make a mental note. The two girls have long distance weapons, so therefore, would be difficult to attack. Sneak attack would be the only way to get close enough. Once I am close enough I can easily overpower either one. The two boys have hand-to-hand combat weapons, so my best bet is to get close enough to remove their weapons. I don't know how strong they are, so don't know if I can overpower either one. My best bet is to have Katniss take them out.

I think about her, as I watch the sunset. Knowing her she is in tree, eating squirrel waiting for the opportunity to strike. I wonder if she is safe. I will make every attempt to guide them in the way they shouldn't go.

We wait until the sunlight begins to set, before we take turns taking thirty minutes to rest. I find it hard to relax enough to fall asleep, so I just place myself against the Cornucopia and just wait until they decide that it is time to go.

We wait until it night, to start walking, torches and flashlights in hand.

"Okay Lover Boy, let's see those tracking abilities." They joking tell me.

I start walking towards the area that I believe Katniss might have traveled. I take the time pointing at broken twigs, to signal someone walked by the trail, not letting them know that it was me breaking the twigs as we walked.

They tell us to make as little noise as possible. Just ahead I can see a camp fire. It can't be Katniss, I don't think. She would know better than to start a fire at night. She knows better. Cato takes the lead and he signals us to spread around the fire. When they view that it isn't Katniss. Cato just stands up and before the girl can even realize, they are all on top of her. It is over before it even began.

"Twelve down and eleven to go!" Marvel says.

They check her supplies to find that she had nothing.

"Better clear out so they can get the body before it starts stinking." Cato says.

We walk towards a clearing and wait for the cannon to fire.

"Shouldn't we have heard a cannon by now?"

"I'd say yes. Nothing to prevent them from going in immediately."

"Unless she isn't dead."

"She's dead. I stuck her myself."

"Then where's the cannon?"

"Someone should go back. Make sure the job's done."

"Yeah, we don't want to have to track her down twice."

"I said she's dead."

It is foolish but it is a whole pissing contest and Marvel wants to make sure that everyone knows that he is at the top.

"We're wasting time! I'll go finish her and let's move on!" I tell them.

"Go on, then, Lover Boy," says Cato. "See for yourself."

I see behind Cato, some movement in the trees. It must be my imagination, but I think see her. I see her everywhere. Even now, I wonder if should think less of me.

I walk back seeing that the girl was almost dead. She gasps one last breath and dies. I walk over to her and close her eyes, whisper "I am sorry" and walk back to the Careers.

"Was she dead?" Cato asks me.

"No. But she is now," I tell them, as the cannon fires. "Ready to move on?"


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

We move off from the clearing, running at a brisk run. The sun light has just started to come through the trees. The grey sky seems like the same grey sky from my District. Is this how it feels like to be in the woods? All this time I have wanted to be outside of the fence, and now that I am in the forest, I am trapped inside my own desire. I wanted to be able to talk to Katniss and get to know her, and for the last couple of days I got to know who she was and what she stands for, and now I am trapped never to have a future with her. I have always wanted to have adventures and now I am in the adventure for my life. The things that I desire are the things I wish I never had received.

We keep at a steady pace for a about an hour or so, before we reach a stream. We stop and decide to set up camp. The whole day we map out the area before walking back towards the Cornucopia. We go back to the camp where the girl that was killed earlier that day. We inspect the camp, and I can tell from the difference in the color of the fire that someone had been here. It is very slight and probably I am just imagining it, but I don't want to take any chances. I don't mention it, but kick the fire, just in case they know how to tell the difference.

"What the hell are we doing back here, we should be moving forward" I tell them. "Do you honestly think that she would be coming back this way?"

"I am guessing back in your little world, you don't watch previous Hunger Games?" Clove tells me. "You probably don't even own a TV."

"Why don't you enlighten me?" I tell her.

"This is the Hunger Games. It is a Game, and you have to think like a Gamemaker. What the Game has to be, is entertaining. All we have to do is… nothing." She tells me.

"Nothing?" I ask.

"They don't want a boring show, so they will make it happen." She tells me.

The thought process of a Career is impressive. Always looking for a way to manipulate the system, it isn't about surviving but playing a game.

"So that is how it works?" I ask. "It is not about surviving huh?"

"No so much. It is more about how to get people to do what you want." She says.

"So volunteering is your way of getting what you want? What if you get killed?" I ask.

"You wouldn't understand, volunteering isn't something we want to do, it is something that has a deeper meaning." She tells me.

"You are a moron aren't you? Look at the big picture. The Hunger Games needs the Career, and how do you get the best? You pay for the best. For every Career that volunteers, their family are taken care of by our friends at the Capitol." She continues

"So you do this for your family? Is that why you train for this?" I ask.

"They want a good investment, and I am here to give it to them. Plus I get to kill, which is an added bonus." She tells me.

So it is just a game? Well I think of it the same way, asking the right questions in the right way and you can find out a lot about someone. I just found out whom to keep my eye on. Who is the person pulling the strings in this group? It is the one who can manipulate the situation.

How to control the situation is by doing nothing and have the Gamemakers create the perfect situation where we will have the highest drama. So that is what they do, they do nothing. To them the Careers, today is just like another day, just lounging around.

I take this time, as a time to get to know my enemy. I just evaluate each of them, trying to find a weakness. Both Marvel and Cato are driven by emotion, and I can see that Clove manipulates them by playing on emotions. Clove got both Cato and Marvel to not kill me by playing on their pride to catch Katniss. Glimmer, is a little bit hard to read, I don't see the wheels turning in her mind. Either she is like Marvel and Cato or she is skilled at masking her true intentions.

Clove catches me looking and says

"What are you looking at? Silent people bother me, always have and always will." She tells me.

"Trying to think on when we are going to go after her." I tell them.

"Well how about this, you tell me how she scored an eleven. And I won't gut you with a dull knife." She tells me.

"You do that, and you will never find her." I tell her.

"Thinking about that, and well don't really need your help for that, we know sooner or later the Gamemakers will bring her to us." She says.

A hole in the plan I begin to worry. What card do I have to left to use? I have to think of something and fast.

"Well then, if you want, go ahead, got nothing left at home to worry about or even to go back to." I tell her.

"Oh, you are playing the lovers card huh?" She tells me.

"No, I have one last play. You kill me and you will never know how she got that eleven. Just knowing that she would kill you, it is more than enough for me." I tell her.

She pauses for a moment. Just like that and I know that I got her. The last card I have is the unknown. The sun is setting and she smiles as she walks away.

"You survived another day, impressive." She tells me. "Sleep tight."

I lay down with my eyes towards the woods and wonder if her sleeping, or have the nightmares that I remember hearing started again.

It was the first night on the train and I can remember walking down the corridor. Seeing the full moon through the trees whizzing by at 200 mph, feeling the cool metal with the tips of my fingers, I can still remember it like it was just yesterday. Hearing the weeping from Katniss room, and stopping in front of her door, I just sat on the floor in front of her door. It is enough to jar me out of my slow sleep.

It is already night time and I see that the stars are out, and in the same location. The night is controlled by the Gamemakers. So what we see is not even real. I stand up slowly, until I hear

"Going somewhere Lover Boy?" A voice through the night says.

"Going to use the bathroom, is that ok Mom?" I tell them.

So still a prisoner. Not like I would run anyways. My idea is to keep them on the wrong track or at least doubting themselves enough to give Katniss the opportunity to kill them.

It was the day of the interview and I can still remember the words coming from Haymitch. "The smallest hesitation that is all you need. And you have already won. The key is to get hesitation you have to create doubt. If they doubt what you are capable of, then you can win."

"Is that how you won?" I ask him.

"No, all of my fellow tributes were idiots, and I played to their stupidity. I just observed them, and watched for a weakness." He tells me.

"So they all doubted that you were going to win?" I ask.

"They thought I was stupid enough to let them kill me. So I played that card. I got them to lose their focus by enhancing their pride." He says with a grin.

After walking to the lake, I gently remove the bandage to see how the wound is healing. Although the Careers haven't noticed I had taken some medicine and applied it to the wound. It shows the wound healing nicely.

"So who is winning," I ask Cato.

"What you mean Lover Boy?" he asks me with a snarl.

"Who has killed the most so far?" I ask him.

"Who do you think?" He says, with a prideful look.

"Well I hear that Marvel has killed more, with the girl from 8 is it?" I tell him.

"Oh really, well not after I get your sweetheart." He says.

There it is the pride. He looks around,

"Just you wait, when the sun comes up we will track down that little girl of yours and I will delight in cutting her apart." He says.

Now the focus of the plan that Clove had made has been altered. Think to myself, that Haymitch is one smart cookie. If I could I would buy him a drink.

I lie down again, looking at Cato sharpen his sword. I can still hear the metal on metal, as I doze off to sleep.

The lost of air jolts me awake. It is Cato making sure that I am not dead by kicking me in the stomach.

"Rise and shine, Lover Boy," He says. "Today we go and kill your sweet heart."

"Everyone up, let's get going." He tells the group.

"This wasn't the plan Cato," Clove tells him.

"Well it is time for a new one, and plus who made you the leader of this pact?" He says. "If you feel you can lead better, you know what you have to do."

"Never mind. So fearless leader, what is the new plan?" She asks.

"We go back to the stream and work our way down." He says. "She needs both food and water, and sooner or later she would have to pop into the stream, and that is where I get her."

"You hear me, I get her."

Break them by getting them to turn on each other. Well it is a good addition to the plan, and thank you Clove for letting me see how easy it is to manipulate them.

We walk for a couple of minutes before we pick up the pace. We make it back to the clearing where Marvel killed the girl from eight in less time that we did yesterday. All of the sudden we can see above the trees smoke. It is towering smoke that doesn't seem like a camp fire, but more like a forest fire.

"Gamemaker fire," Clove says with a smile.

"This way," Cato says, and runs towards the direction of the smoke.

"Shouldn't we wait to see if they flush her out?" I ask.

"This is why you will never be one of us," he says. "If she on our side of the stream we will get to her, but if she is on the other side, she would have to cross over the stream to get away from the smoke and fire."

We hear explosions coming from the fire and now that we are going in the right direction. I just hope that Katniss is not there when we get there. Trapped, however much I wanted to escape, I can't. I have to make sure that she survives.

Prim needs her sister and more than anything, Katniss needs her sister. This is my desire, that although my life has been forfeited, I know that I will make it count for something. If I have to stay here and accept it then so be it.

The promises I made my father that I would never let them take who I am, I will keep. I know that he sees me through the updates in the television and I know that he is proud of me. He knows me and knows that although I am running towards the fire that was created to bring the girl on fire towards her death; he knows that it is my job to make sure that she doesn't die.

It still feels like I am surrounded by the fence at District Twelve even though I am in the arena running through the forest, I am still bound by a prison I cannot see. This time it is not by circumstance that I am here, I wasn't born into this prison, I was chosen for it. I am not fighting to get out of this prison; I am accepting my fate so that I am not lost. So I choose my prison and push forward.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

There was time back when I was fourteen, when there was a fire in the woods. Most of believe that it was caused by a lightning strike in the dry leaves. That year, we hardly got any rain and well it made for the perfect storm. You couldn't see the fire, but because of the wind the smoke would come into District Twelve and the panic you could feel all around you.

Our District had running water, but nothing as advance to stop the fire from approaching the homes. If the Capitol wanted to destroy us, they could have done it by setting the District on fire. We had no tools to protect us or save our homes. We spent the entire day filling buckets of water and lining them up in the kitchen. The smoke got so black at one point that it was hard to even walk inside your own home. It felt like the smoke was burning my very lungs.

I ran outside my house unable to know where I was going. If I ran into the fence and if it was electrified then I would never see it coming. All I wanted was to find a place where I can breathe freely, without the smoke. I had gotten a shirt to cover my face but it did little to help. All I could do is hear people yelling in the smoke, trying to find each other, through the smoke. The silhouette of people and buildings were all I could see. Stumbling around, falling on the ground until finally, like an answer desire, it started to rain. Slowly but surely, the smoke started to dissipate the smoke. I could finally start to focus on the details of the buildings and even the people.

Now instead of being trapped by a fence stumbling through the smoke, I am trap by my own will. Still stumbling through the smoke filled sky, I feel the branches cut into my arms and face. I can see the animals from the forest running in the opposite way. You can always tell where to go by the way they flee from danger. Instead of following the path of the animals we run towards the opposite. Heart beating fast and the silhouette of the Careers are in front of me. I could easily just slip away and run in the opposite direction. They would never find me, I think. It would be the easiest thing to do. I could just be like the rabbit whose instincts are to flee without prejudice or family. Is that the point? To do what is our instinct? What stops us from doing what our instincts tell us? I wonder if the rabbit was a mother and the children were behind, would it wait until the children were safe.

We make a quick turn to the right as the tree crashes in our way. We are totally in the middle of it, because all I can see or hardly see for that matter is the smoke all around us. I look up for a second to see that I cannot even see the sky. We climb at a steady slope and my muscles ache from the rough terrain. My muscles cry from the pain of the previous battle with the other tributes. My lungs ache and almost surrender to the inability to function correctly. I push myself forward when I should run the other way.

We are almost there when I can hear the faint cry of girl. Is it her? It doesn't register in my mind. No it couldn't be her; she wouldn't be running towards us. They call out

"Look there she is in the water," Marvel calls out.

"Woo, she is mine!" Cato says happily.

We run down the ravine towards where she ran back into the forest.

"Look at the little squirrel run up the tree," Clove says as we see Katniss climb up a tree and look down at us.

"How's everything with you?" Katniss says cheerfully. Leave it to Katniss to provoke a Career.

"Well enough," says Cato.

"It's been a bit warm for my taste," She smacks her lips to the air, almost pointing her nose to air. "The air's better up here. Why don't you come on up?"

"Think I will," says Cato.

"Here, take this Cato," says Glimmer.

I clean my knife trying hard to not make eye contact with her. She must hate me I know. She must hate me for leading them to her, for pairing myself with them. I want to just stab them while they are distracted. I might be able to kill one of them, probably injure two. I know however, that if I try I will be a goner, and Katniss will have to worry with four probably five Careers if I am unable to get at least one.

"No, I'll do better with my sword," Cato says pushing away Glimmer's bow.

He positions himself on the base of the tree and starts to ascend his climb. I can see that Katniss being nimble and light has climbed up another twenty-five thirty feet. Cato hasn't slowed down as he gets to the slimmer branches. That is until I start to hear the cracking of the branches, and there he goes, down to the ground like a rock. Almost makes me want to smile, but I don't.

Glimmer begins to scale the tree and has the sense to stop when she begins to hear the branches begin to crack. She gets down and arms an arrow. Katniss must be almost to the very top of an oak tree when Glimmer lets fly the arrow. It misses Katniss but gets stuck in another tree. Katniss reaches from it, and waves it at her.

"It is too high for Clove to throw knives up there. But she is the lightest one out of all of us," Cato says.

"I am not climbing up only to see me fall. I know you would get a kick out of that." Clove says.

"Does anyone have matches we can just burn the tree down. Or just cut it down with Cato's sword." Glimmer says.

The tree looks sturdy enough to stand the fire, so the fire idea has to be set aside. And of course Cato doesn't want to dull the sword because then he would be weaponless.

I keep myself quiet, just hearing the absurd suggestions. One even said to have them all climb up so that the tree would crack and fall from the weight, but then again, it was a plan discarded when they say the size of the tree.

"What about Lover boy? Let's have him go up, if he falls and hurts himself, it doesn't matter to us." Marvel says.

They all look to me, and of course to them I am like a little animal. I have done my job, I have brought them to her, and now I am expendable. Well probably it wouldn't be a bad idea to stab one of them, after all. If Katniss is caught then both of us are dead. If I can lure them away from her, probably she can get away.

I position myself to stab Cato as he is the one that is currently bruised. He is standing on the edge of the pack. Quick stab to the lungs, and make a quick run, that is the plan. I look up and for the first time our eyes meet. I can tell from her face that she is hurt. She wouldn't be able to make it. I see her pant leg has been burned off. She is not putting pressure on that leg. Have to stay, and fight, but how. I need time to come up with another plan.

"Oh, let her stay up there. It's not like she's going anywhere. We'll deal with her in the morning." I tell them.

"Fine, let's set up camp." Cato says.

Probably if I can take the first watch, I can get her attention, to run, get her to safety. We would wait until the darkness covered everything and then make a run for it. I know that we wouldn't make it far in the dark, but anywhere is better than here. This is as good as any plan that I am able to come up with. I am about to suggest that I take the first watch when I am too late.

"I will take first watch," says Glimmer.

Now what? I don't object because this would show my intention, so I keep quiet.

We set up camp and the sun slowly dips below the trees. The crickets begin to sing their song. The moon is hidden and the darkness is deeper in the forest. The torches are going strong. It is hard for me to see her through the night sky. I can almost make her out, but I just look at her. This is the only time I can just look at her without the look of betrayal in her eyes shooting daggers in my heart. The "should haves", and the "could haves" begin to play my mind. The "what ifs", distract me from making a plan. I start to think of a new plan. If I was only quiet enough, or fast enough, I could slit Glimmer's throat while everyone is asleep. Who knows if that would work? There could be another tribute pretending to be sleeping and keeping an eye on me waiting for me to make a move. If I am going to do anything I have to wait, and keep myself from falling asleep. I cannot make any move until after they fall asleep. The anthem for tonight would have them all looking at the sky, waiting to see if there was another kill that they were not responsible for. That is all they care about. It isn't who wins, at least I don't think, it is about how many people you can kill.

Have they always been like this in their Districts? Where they bullies in school? Always getting into trouble? You see our school those that were bullies, would never volunteer for the Hunger Games. I have learned that most bullies are cowards. I think that these Careers's life is different than the norm. If anything I think that they were the smartest kids in the classroom. It is after all an honor to be a Tribute. They have to know everything. They train, although it is illegal, at a special school. They probably have hand-to-hand combat classes, classes on what are edible plants and how to survive certain situations. Every aspect of their lives already decided for them. It is sad I think, to be them. To never be allowed a choice in life to be something else. From birth they are already chosen to be a Career Tribute, to live to die in the arena, what a sad life to live. I cannot pity them though, at the end of the day, they enjoy killing. I wonder though if they had a choice would they pick to a better person. Are we destined to be a certain way? Do we even have a choice in how we end up? They are just kids after all, we don't know any better. It is not our fault; it is the fault of the ones who created this.

The anthem begins to sound, and I can see that through the sky is dark and the stars are out, there was no one that died today. Still the same number of people left to be killed to just one victor. I wonder how this is all going to end. Who would it be that will have my life in their hands? Will it be Katniss? The anthem finally ends and I can see that Katniss is setting into her tree. I guess that is where she sleeps. Is it comfortable I wonder? Has to be, at least more comfortable that this floor.

I wait and keep my half closed eyes on Glimmer. I make every effort to not move, to slow down my breath, to make it seem that I am sleeping. I can hear the rustling of the Careers behind me; they haven't gone to sleep yet. Any movement and they are up.

My eye lids begin to stick together and I have to make the effort to keep myself from falling asleep. After a couple of attempt, I say to myself, probably rest a couple of minutes and then I will be good.

Staring at the fire on the torches I can see that the haziness in the fire start to blur my vision. It is no use; I can't keep myself awake forever. I close my eyes and the crickets' song makes it my lullaby.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

The blood curdling scream that I hear snaps me back from dream land. Zzzzap. The pain is extreme, on my neck. Zzzzap. Another one on my cheek, I can feel the immediate swelling. That is when I see it, the gold body. It is a tracker jacker! The wooziness I feel, is immediate, and I just run. The pain is starting to numb, and I can feel that my legs are losing control. I start to stumble and fall. I can hear the buzzing and the screams from the careers.

I am thrown backwards as I brush into a tree. The hard ground feels like needles all over. I stare at the tree for a moment and see that the color is starting to drain itself from the tree. Am I losing my mind, I wonder. I place every effort to get back up, before I hear it again… zzzzap. There is another sting on my arm. I quickly see the swelling the size of a meatball.

One feet in front of the another I force my body to listen. I am crawling on my hands and feet before I finally get them under me. They feel so heavy and almost like cement drying. I can start to feel the fogginess in my mind, it clouds my memories.

Where am I running to, my mind wanders? I cannot feel my legs. My heart starts to quicken. What is following me? I hear the buzzing behind me, but I am so scared that I don't turn around. I quickly look back, as I hear the twigs snap like someone is behind me. I trip and fall into a stream, the water is cold and refreshing, but I can't breathe. It is like my body has forgotten how to function. Breathe damn it, breathe. I try to scream for help, but no words come out. Is my throat swollen shut? Where am I? How did I get into a forest? I can hear screaming. What is going on? Where did I get these clothes? This makes no sense.

Just then, I look to my hands and see the cuts. How did I get these cuts, I wonder. Like a flash of lightning, my mind flashes to the night at the Training Center roof, to the girl with the braid… Katniss!

I put every effort I can to make it back to the tree. It has to be this way, I tell myself as I run through the forest. By some sort of miracle I am back to the camp site. I see a girl on the ground, is it her? Is it her? I pick up my spear to throw, and that is when I see her turn around. Those passionate grey eyes. I can see Katniss, stumbling around what I think is Glimmer. I can see the shining bow in her hand.

"What are you still doing here?" I yell at her. I can hear the others coming back.

"Are you mad?" I command her to get up by prodding her with the spear.

"Get up! Get up!" I am yelling at her, as I hear the footsteps getting closer from behind.

I shove her out of the way. "RUN! RUN!" I yell at her.

She is finally on her feet and running the other way, when I turn around and see Cato.

"So, you were playing us?" He says. "Probably this whole idea of the tracker jackers attacking us was part of the plan."

I lift up the spear.

"I am going to do what I have wanted to do since the very beginning." He tells me.

He starts to swing the sword, and I have barely enough strength to move out the way. He quickly changes position and swings the sword with his other hand, when I block it with my spear. It cracks as soon as the sword hits it. I quickly throw up an elbow to his nose and Cato falls back.

Ok so now I have no weapon, and he still has a sword. I can feel my muscle beginning to give in. The tracker jacker venom is beginning to shut down my body.

I don't think I can last more than five minutes. I have to make them count. Give Katniss enough time to escape.

He gets up and slashes at my waist. I shoot back and find that the sword has cut me in the stomach area. I look down and find that it isn't a deep. I look up only to see the sword slash my left leg. This time I am not so lucky. I can feel the blood begin to pour out.

"Gotcha. You won't last the end of today," He smiles. "Probably I should just put you out of your misery. No, I remember that you like to play games… so I am going to play one. I am going to see how long it takes you to die. If you don't die today, I will find you tomorrow."

"See you soon, Lover boy." He walks slowly back into the forest.

"Do me a favor and don't die just yet, I want to have a little bit more fun." He tells me. "Now which way did she go? Eeenie, meenie, minnie, moe… think I will go this way."

Is he walking towards the way Katniss went? I have lost my location, as my whole world is spinning. Each path looks the same. I drag my leg through the path.

I stumble and fall, and find myself in the deeper part of the stream. It is quickly taking me downstream.

"I picked the wrong path, I am sorry. I hope that I have given you enough time to get away." I say out loud.

The sky starts to quickly turn and turn. My eyes start to close. The sky goes from a pale grey to pink, then to an aqua. This has to be the venom working its hallucinations effect. I have heard that people who get injected with tracker jacker venom lose their minds, that they don't know which way is up or down. They forget everything and finally die from the mind trying to remember and the heart trying to forget.

It feels like a dream. Is it true what they say, that you cannot die in a dream? Probably if I close my eyes, and force myself to wake up then this nightmare will be over.

I close my eyes, and when I open them, nothing. My whole vision has just gone dark. My worst nightmare, I have gone blind. I craw on my hands and feet out, I dig my fingers into the ground pulling myself to the ground. It is no use, I have no energy left.

I collapse on the ground from exhaustion.

"So tired, this has to be a dream," I repeat over and over. My eyes close, and I wonder who knows if I will be able to awake again.

My mind races from one nightmare to another. I can see the fire back in District Twelve. My lungs burn from the smoke, I am running down the stairs of our home trying to get away. I am just outside the back door, when I hear the lock on the door.

I turn around to see the horror face before my eyes. My family is trapped inside the house, and they can't get out. The fire is engulfing the house and I am banging on the door and it won't open. I grab a rock from and try to smash the window but it won't break. What is going on? I can hear the screams coming from my brother upstairs. My mother begs me to help her. My father calls out to my name. It is only a matter of seconds before the house collapses and they are gone. I hunch myself over close my eyes. It isn't real. This isn't real.

I open my eyes, probably it is gone. The screams have stop. We are back in District Twelve, and I can see that I am by the Seam. I can hear an explosion and the siren. What? What is going on? I see people start to run towards coal mines. All of the mockingjays have gone silent. I run towards the little house by the meadow. I can feel my heart racing, as I quickly approach the little house. All I can see is the little girl with the braid, crying on the doorstep. She had just lost her father. What can I say, to help her through this?

She looks up and says, "go away, you are the reason he is dead. You are the reason I am dead."

"No, you can't be dead; I was chosen to save you. I have made the choice to save you." I tell her.

"Leave me alone, you betrayed me." She says turning and running inside her house.

Betrayed? How is that possible? I only wanted to protect you. I walk towards the house, and place my hands and head on the door.

I can hear his voice. "ssssh, it is ok,"

The familiar voice brings comfort to my heart. I open my eyes and find that my father is holding me. We are back home in the kitchen getting ready to go to school. My mother is smiling at me, and singing a song at me.

"Now you are going to behave on this your first day of school, right?" She asks.

I nod. "Yes mama."

"You are my special little man, and I love you very much." She tells me.

I smile and he takes me by the hand

"Let's go, time for school." My father tells me. So begins my adventure to school. He carries me on his shoulders all the way there. I feel like I can touch the sky. The clouds seem closer when I am on his shoulders. We make it to the school and I can see all the kids lining up to go into the auditorium. My father takes me off his shoulders and kneels down to tell me something. That is when I see her, red plaid dress skipping with her mother to the front door of the school.

"Do you see that little girl with the red plaid dress?" He asks me.

I nod.

"Well, I wanted to marry her mother," he tells me.

"What happened?" I ask him.

"She went and married a coal miner." He tells me. "Come on, come give you a dad a hug."

I see her, a couple of feet away from us, holding what seems to be my lunch. It is my mother, and she is sad. Why is she sad, I think?

We make eye contact and the once smile I saw, has turn to an angry look.

I am about to say something, when she turns around and quickly runs back.

That was the last day my mother smiled at me. For the next eleven years I only saw hatred from her. It seems that she found out about my father's desire to marry another woman and yet had to settle for her.

The pain is too much. I close my eyes tight and wish to be dead. I start to gently open my eyes when I see the grey sky. Now what? Where am I now? What sort of torture is this nightmare going to be?

My body aches from all over. I try to get up, but with no success. It is like I was electrocuted. My whole body has shut down and is finally coming back to life.

Was it enough time? Did she get away? I know now that I will probably die from the cut of the sword. Was my effort enough? I tried, did I succeed? Father, I tried, I tried to die in a way that was me. Protecting the one I care for. Protecting the only one in these Games, that deserves to live.

I will never get the chance to get to know you. But what I do know, that the same glimpse of whom you are, are more than enough for me to be happy. You deserve all the happiness that the world has to give. I only hope that the other Tributes don't make it and that you are the only one left.

I turn my face and see the dandelion, or I think it is a dandelion. It brings a smile to my face, knowing that it is the very last thing that I get to see. I get to remember you. You are the last memory I want to have before I die.

I can feel my eyes getting heavy. I can feel my heart slowing down. I feel my hands on the mud and begin to gently caress it. The coldness of it brings me some sort of peace. This is it. I am ready. I have done all I can, and have chosen this fate.

"Katniss, Katniss." I try to say, before my body gives out again and my eyes close.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

The song of a mockingjay invades my mind. It is brings a sense of peace to let me know that everything will be ok. I slowly open my eyes, and my eyesight has come back although it is hard to focus. My body feels like it has been broken. I close my hands how long have I been asleep, it feels like years. What day is this?

The memories come back, like a mighty rushing wave. I turn my head; I can faintly hear wind chimes. Wind chimes? The garden in the roof top with the wind chimes, I can still hear them in my ears. I can still feel the kiss on the cheek that Katniss gave me on the night of the opening games.

I feel the cool water of the stream. How many days have I been out? I go to pull myself out of the stream. My strength finally allows me to gently pull out. Probably I am ok, I think to myself. That is until I try to move my leg, and am reminded of the cut by the sharp pain.

I try to sit up and realize that it is no good. The pain is just unbearable. I cup water in my hands, and begin to drink it. My body reacts with a sigh of relief as it is severely dehydrated. Probably if I hydrate myself enough I would walk through the pain, back to… and it hits me. I have nowhere to go. I can't go back to the camp; the Careers would finish me off for sure. I don't remember seeing Glimmer run to the stream after the initial tracker jacker attack. Did she even make it?

Is it wrong to wish that she didn't, she was after all trying to kill us all. That would leave three Careers that I cannot account for. I look down the stream that way is the lake and the Career camp. I look up stream and well that is where I came from. I am pretty sure that they wouldn't go back to where we came from. I wonder though where would Katniss go?

The last image I have of her is her stumbling away. Probably stung by the tracker jacker, I hope she made it to a safe place. Cato was walking in the wrong direction anyways so I am pretty sure she had to have made it. Well that is what I hope.

I try to stand and still can't. It is no use, the pain is too much. I don't even have enough strength to remove my clothes that are soaked. I can see the blood and how it is caked onto my pants. Is this it? If I can't stand I can't fight, and if I can't fight even the Twelve year old girl can kill me.

Oh who cares, it doesn't matter now. I can't even protect her. Heck I can't even protect myself. No weapon and wounded. Probably a wild animal will come and finish me off. Wouldn't take much, I think, probably have the most a day or so? I don't even know how bad the cut is, as it is covered with my dirt.

I can see that it is late afternoon. It is frustrating not knowing what day it is. The pain is too much, I close my eyes and think probably if I sleep my body can heal itself. Although I know that there is a possibility that I might not wake up again, and if I do I may not even know how many hours had gone.

When I was thirteen, I became very sick, I can still remember it. It turns out that when you are younger, your body has a very hard time defending itself against diseases.

I woke up one day in the winter, and can see that the snow had begun to fall a little bit more frequent than the day before. We have gotten word from the Mayor that the Capitol was tracking a blizzard system coming towards our District. We hardly get blizzards in our District but when we do, they are welcomed with a mix review. You have the families that have coal saved for the winter time, enough to heat their family, and then you have the not so fortunate families that have to huddle around themselves to retain body heat.

The cold wood floor made my bones ache as I walk towards the bathroom, but I wasn't cold, I was warm and comfortable. I scratched my arm as it began to itch a little. After about a couple of minutes the sensation of the itch had not yet subsided and that is when I looked down to see, some sort of spots on my arm. Looked to the other arm only to see similar spots, wonder what it could be?

I go to the bathroom mirror and whip away the cold frost on the mirror. They are not only on my arms but on my neck and face. I don't know what it could be, but it is not good I can tell. Poison oak, maybe? Where would I have gotten poison oak, the winter season has stripped all plants of their leaves, so that rule that out.

I walk towards my parent's room, knowing full well that with the winter no one is up early, as most of our customers would be staying indoors. I gently knock on the door.

"Mom, dad, are you awake?" I ask.

I can hear movement inside the room, and hear someone coming to the door. The door opens and I can see my mother's look.

"I don't feel so good," I tell her, and can feel the room starting to rock, like a swing.

"Get up," she yells back to my father. "Peeta has something, and I don't know what it is."

I can hear my father come to the doorway.

"Let me get my clothes on, I will head over to the healer. Probably she can tell me what it is." He says. "Now son, tell me how you are feeling, so I can tell the healer."

"I itch all over, and I feel like I am about to collapse. I am warm all over." I tell him.

He feels my forehead and then my neck. "He is burning up. Peeta go and lay down, while your mother gets you some cold towels for your head."

I can see him putting on his boots, and winter clothes. How can he go out in this weather? I can't even see outside, let along the town square features.

I feel the cold towel on my head.

"Now what did you get yourself into?" My mother scolds at me.

"Nothing, I don't know." I tell her weakly.

I close my eyes, and then it feels like I am awake but asleep. It is hard to know what time it is, or what day it is.

It turns out my father went to a woman who is the only healer we have in the District. She lived in the Seam, and well she told him, that I had the "chicken pox." She had read it from a book she had on ailments from the past. Although our District does not have doctors or hospitals, we do have healers. She prepared some sort of cream for my itching, and every day for a while they would have to be constantly placing cold towels on my body to keep the fever down, and this cream made of some plants to remove the itching.

I don't know how long I was out, but all I would do is sleep and awake and then fall back asleep. They forced food into my body but I couldn't keep it down, it would always come back up.

One day it wasn't snowing and I can see that there was movement downstairs in the bakery. I even had a visitor one day. Delly had come to see me.

"So Peeta how are you?" She asked me.

"Hanging in there," I tell her.

"Well at least you don't have to go to school or work downstairs," she says with a smile.

"That is a plus, although not knowing what day, time or what is going on has its drawbacks." I tell her. "What day is today?"

"It is Saturday, Peeta, you really must be out of it." She tells me.

"So it has been four days," I tell her almost surprised. "How do I look?"

"You look like something the cat dragged in." She says laughing.

"Not going to win anyone over looking like this huh?" I tell her chuckling, before winching with pain. Guess my body is not recovered fully. Delly can see that I am in pain.

"Sorry, guess you shouldn't be laughing." She tells me.

"It's okay, I enjoy having at least someone to come tell me what great adventures I am missing." I tell her jokingly.

"Well there is so much, just yesterday we…"

The anthem jolts me out of my dream. What? Where am I, I ask myself. It is night already. Is it night for the same day or is it night from another day? I can't really tell for sure. I can feel my damp clothes, unless I can get them off me, I wouldn't be able to get them dry fully.

I can see from the night sky that there no deaths today. So I have no idea, how many of them are left. I can feel my body begin to shiver, as the wet clothes with the cold wind wouldn't help my body keep any body heat I may have. I try to not think about it, but it is all I can think about. I have survived another day. The anthem ends and the forest come back alive with sounds.

The pain is too much, and I want to yell out for someone to either hurt me or finish me off. Why isn't Haymitch sending any help? He is the only one that knows my true agenda, as we have gone through it before the Games. We must have sponsor, at least one that can help us. Even if they can only get me the same thing that Portia gave me back in the Training Center it would allow me enough time to help Katniss. We both want her to survive, Haymitch and me. It could be that he is passed out drunk that fool. The one time that I need his help and I get nothing, who knows it maybe that we lost the sponsor's due to me pairing up with the Careers. Haymitch should know that by teaming up with them it wasn't to help them but to hinder them. I don't know why help doesn't come, but the unknown helps no one, and only makes me uneasy.

I try to position myself away from the stream, but the pain is too much. I can barely move. It must have been a couple of hours that I hear the "hooting" of an owl, or the crickets nearby, the rustling of a night creature coming to find food, who knows. The stream has gone down from its original depth. It was to my knee earlier and now it is to my ankle. Wonder what the Gamemakers are doing. Are they draining the stream so it forces everyone to the Cornucopia to look for water?

Everything that happens here, from the force of the wind, to the temperature of it, is controlled by the Gamemakers. The depth of the stream is surely a result of the fact that no one was killed today and the games are turning boring. The one thing that the Capitol cannot allow is that their precious Hunger Games become boring. There has to be drama and there has to be conflict.

Probably tonight they will see a boy die from hypothermia. Shivering in the night, until his heart gives in, from the cold or from the lack of blood that is the most drama they will get from me. There is no conflict near me, but who knows what promise hold tomorrow. Probably tomorrow is the day when Cato comes back and finishes me off.

My body finally gives in, and I can feel my eyes close. The wind has died down a little bit, and I can feel the warmth of my body coming back a little bit. It could be that I am running a fever, which is never a good thing. Probably wasn't a good idea to drink stream water without purifying it. I could be suffering from infection of either the cut, or from the unpurified water. There is a thought I haven't considered, it could have been the Gamemakers trying to prolong my death. I wonder why and to what end? Either way, if I am going to die it doesn't really matter how I die. I close my eyes not knowing if I will open them tomorrow. The drunken fool has left me to fend for myself, or probably sees that I am not worth saving. Whatever the reasoning behind it, it doesn't matter; only the fact remains that I will not get any better without help.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

The cannon jolt me awake. It is already morning and someone, somewhere has died. More than likely it is someone that was killed by the Careers. My mouth is dry from and my body is weak. Not eating will do that to you I think. Well I must look amazing after losing all this weight, not that it matter for a dead man.

They call them ghost men back in District Twelve. You see whenever a person, typically a miner, has an accident that their injuries are too severe to survive them, are called ghost men. The promise of being alive is not possible and the certainty of dead is something that is unavoidable. They are neither dead nor alive, they are in the in-between. Some take the time before they die to say goodbye to love ones, however others just retreat into their own world and never come out. They are found miles away from their homes.

A ghost man that is what I feel. The pain of knowing that the certainty of death is coming, however it is preventable by my so called mentor, although for some odd reason he refuses to help me. Surviving seems like a far off dream.

I feel the current of the stream begin to lap up on my feet. The sudden realization that someone is approaching from the stream places me in survival mode and I quickly cake my skin and face with mud from the stream. I lay the twigs and rocks on the mud placing them in a pattern that mimics that of the stream. When I feel that I have enough to pass for camouflage. I ease myself slowly into a hole in the stream.

I can hear my heart beat being to quicken. I slow down my breath, and close my eyes. If I did a good enough job with the camouflage, whoever is walking down the stream will miss me entirely.

The splashing is very minimal, almost unable to detect. It is definitely someone who knows what they are doing. The ripples get more frequent although I can barely hear the water. It could be a Career trying to track me down. Although none of them really did know how to track, so it could be the boy from District Eleven. The good thing is that the bleeding from my leg is being absorbed by the mug and leaves that I packed onto it.

The would be assassin passes by me. I dare not to open my eyes and reveal where I am hiding. I hold my breath until I feel that ripples have stopped. I let out a sigh of relieve, I can relax for a little bit. I wipe away the mud from my mouth, and start to slowly drink the stream water. If anything I know that I can last without food for at least three days, but without water I will be a goner quicker rather than later.

I can see the sunlight trickle in through the tree branches. The birds start to sing, and I know that whoever was walking through the stream is far enough that the birds are comfortable to sing again. It feels peaceful enough to not think about the upcoming cold night. The shivering I had to go through, I know that if I had to do it again, it would be hard to survive it.

Probably if I rest a little bit more, I can recover enough of my strength. I can feel my eyes begin to close. At least with my eyes close no one can find me, no one can kill me, I can finally die on my own. I do wish, like the ghost man, I can make amends with the people and say goodbye. To be able to tell Katniss, that I did it to protect her. If I could wish for anything in life is for this, the opportunity to say goodbye. The birds start to sing as I drift to sleep.

I feel a punch in my shoulder.

"Delly, hey what's up?" I tell her.

"Why are you having lunch way out here?" She asks me.

We are in the back of the school, having lunch that my father had prepared for me.

"I like being back here; it reminds me of the peacefulness of a moment. You know what I mean?" I ask her.

"I know what you mean, the cafeteria is just filled with kids and you can barely hear yourself think in there." She tells me. "However I think I know why you like it back here."

I look at her, surprised. "Why?"

She points to the other end of the field, and I can see that Katniss had the same idea. She really doesn't like to be around people. Most of the time she spends it alone, eating lunch or just sitting looking at the sky, those are her typical day. Madge, the mayor daughter, sometimes would sit with her.

"It really isn't because of her, but it is an added bonus, I guess." I tell her with a smile.

"Why don't you go over there and talk to her?" Delly says. "Want me to introduce you?"

"Do you think she would ever go for a guy like me?" I ask her. "You know that people from the Seam, don't really like people from the Merchant class."

"Hey stop that, you are a good guy, with a good heart." She tells me. "I saw you a couple of times helping the younger kids and I know you do it because that is what you dad taught you."

I blush, out of my friends; Delly is the only one that I confide in. She never judges me or my family for being part of the Merchant class. Everyone thinks that we are like the Capitol people, and that we are always well fed. They don't realize that everything we sell, we have to pay taxes to the Capitol. Our home is linked to our business so if we cannot produce a specific amount, we lose our home. One of many worries my father goes through. Have to make enough and sell enough to keep his family living.

If the Capitol thinks your business is not being profitable enough, they will just close it and the family who is there would have to move and learn a new trade. Most of us have only the Merchant class which includes groceries, butcher, barber, candy shop, seamstress, etc. The other main producers would be the coal mines. It is hard work and my father being middle age wouldn't be able to hold the long work hours.

"Well it would be a re-introduction as I already know her, but really Delly, I don't think she even knows I am alive." I tell her.

"You will never know unless you go over there." She nudges me.

"One day Delly, one day I will get to talk to her." I tell her.

The ground begins to shake and I open my eyes. What was that? All of the sudden the second explosion is heard and I know something is wrong. The only thing I can think of is the mines back at the Cornucopia. Someone must have tripped the mines.

The boy from District Three set up the mines in a way that it wouldn't start a chain reaction and blow them all up. Someone had to have done it. How though? The Careers would never leave camp especially without a plan or without leaving someone. Last time we left the camp, Cato left the boy from District Three. Something or someone must have drawn them away from the camp.

Risky move though, leaving all the supplies there. Everything, food, medicine, supplies was left in one area where if it blows up everything goes. If it is only one person who got to the pyramid then it would kill only one person and that sort of feels like a hollow victory. I don't think they thought it through, or probably the boy from District Three didn't set the mines far apart enough to stop it from all of them exploding.

Wouldn't it be great if it were a career I think? It would have been smart for the boy from District Three to place the mine somewhere near the career's camp, so that there was a possibility that they would all be blown up. I think if I had known how to reactivate mines I would have definitely done that.

If it wasn't an accident then it was on purpose. The Careers wouldn't have blown up the supplies on purpose or by accident, so then it could only be by someone else. They could have been trying to get to the supplies out of need and therefore did not know of the mines. Or it was done on purpose to destroy the supplies and level the playing field. Too many different scenarios to play, but the explosion could only be that. It is not a…

Another blast and the ground shakes. A rouge mine I think to myself. A couple seconds later I can hear a cannon fire and my eyes go wide. Who was that for? Could it have been for the one who stepped on the mine, or one who was blown up because they didn't know? I don't know who is dead or who is alive. The blast could have taken all of the Careers out.

The ripples, the soft steps through the stream, the only one that would actually travel down to the camp, it could only be Katniss.

I get a bad feeling that is enough to run a chill down my spine. What is it was Katniss? No, she is smarter than that; she would have figured it out. The hunter mentality would have seen the trap. I know it, it has to be. She can't be dead. It all replays in my mind, the look of her eyes in the opening day. I can see remember the feel of her hand in mines as we rode around on the chariot. Still remember speaking with her in the garden on the roof, near the wind chimes, her soft voice. It can't be true. The way her laugh made the room light up, I could still hear it. I can still feel the kiss she gave me after the opening day. The tears begin to swell in my eyes. I won't believe it.

The sun is setting and I cannot begin to accept it. What purpose would I have now? I shake my head. She had a bow and arrows; no way would she have gotten close enough to activate the mines. It had to have been someone else. She is too smart for traps. She would tell me stories on how she would trap squirrels and rabbits. Those animals are smart, so to know how they would react you have to be able to deduce their behavior.

The Mockingjays have started this beautiful song that is only four notes long. They sing it to each other, and I find it odd, where would they have learned it? The mockingjays were an offspring of the jabberjays. The Jabberjays were created by the Capitol during the time frame of the Dark Days. They were song birds that could record entire conversations. After the rebels had found out about this, they started to feed the Jabberjays all false information. They were later abandoned and before they went extinct, the Jabberjays mated with existing mocking bird, and a new species came out called mockingjays. They really can't record conversations but can mimic sounds and long complex songs. I can still remember the valley song, and the little girl who sang it at the age of five. It is only thing I can do, the memories I have of her. If she is gone, that is the only place that I can find her. The girl with the braid is gone, and all I can do is cry. There are no words, there are no explanations, and all I can is cry as the song of the mockingjay sings in the afternoon sky.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

The anthem rings through my dream and I wake up. I almost do not want to know who the cannon were for, knowing it could have been Katniss earlier this afternoon. Ignorance is bliss I remember my mother tell me once. My mother could always be counted to be a realistic when all I ever wanted was to be a dreamer.

It happened when I was fourteen. Every beginning of month my father and I would go to the train station to pick up our monthly quota of supplies that the Capitol provides. Well they really don't provide anything; the other Districts provide the supplies we need. Either they grow it or make it. This year my mother decided to go with us. Never did know why she came with us. When we arrived to the platform, there was less bags of flour that usual. My father had approach a Capitol attendant with a clip board to let him know, as it must have been some mistake. He was a thin fellow with glasses and a professional black suit. He speaks like all Capitol people with a rise at the end of every sentence. Always asking questions I say to myself.

"No mistake Sir, we had a shortage of flour from the Capitol. If you need additional information here is a letter." He tells my father.

There official response is

* * *

_Dear Merchant,_

_We thank you for the dedication and loyalty you have shown the Capitol, through your trade. The production of flour from District Eleven was lower than anticipated this year. Therefore the Districts will have to ration the remaining portion. The Capitol thanks you for your understanding in this trying year. Production from other merchants should continue to produce at the same levels in order for your fellow patrons in the District to not feel discomfort._

_Thank you again,_

_President Snow_

* * *

I had never seen my father angry before until the moment the peacekeeper gave him this notice.

"What about the Capitol, did they have to ration their portion?" He asks to the peacekeeper.

"Sir, if you wish to submit a formal complaint I will be more than happy to do so. May I have your name?" He asks.

My mother clears her throat and nudges my father. "No, no, that is ok, we will make due."

She grabs him by the elbow and walks him off the train platform. "Peeta, grab the flour bags and come on."

I grab the bags that typically are very heavy. This time around they are lighter than usual and well although I am worried for my father, my body is enjoying the time off from the exercise.

We get to the bakery and my mother locks the door behind us and flips the sign "closed."

"You know I am right!" He tells her. "I heard that they were celebrating some ridiculous thing, and they make these elaborate pastries and that is where the 'lower production' flour went."

"Lower your voice, do you want to be taken to the stocks?" She snaps back at him.

"Think, think, we cannot produce breads or pastries without flour. It is not like we can send a notice to the Capitol, 'sorry we cannot produce the pastries and breads you require us to do, because we couldn't make flour from the air.'" He tells her.

I snicker, and my mother shoots a look to me.

"Take the bags to the kitchen and go upstairs." She tells me.

I grab the bags of flour and go to the kitchen. I stomp on the steps of the stairs so that my mother thinks I am upstairs. I walk back to the door that leads to the bakery, and place my ear to the door.

"Well we are just going to have to lower the quality of the breads. Thin out the mixture with more water than flour." She tells him. "And no more trades to those hooligans. Especially that one with the braid, the girl from the healer no more trades, we can do without the rat that she brings."

"You forget, the healer, healed your son that winter or did you hit your head?" He tells her. "If I want to trade with those 'hooligans' then you are just going to have to respect that."

"Well if that is your stance, then you know what we would have to do to make due." She tells him.

"I told you that when we had children, it would never happen. I would never allow it. I work every year as hard as I can, I get up every day early to make sure that it would never come to this. It is bad enough that every year we all die a little, but now you want to give them more of an opportunity to take the ones that bring me joy?" He tells her.

"Well I am only being realistic. You know someone cannot live in the clouds. You know that is where Peeta gets his day dreams from. I once caught him trying to go under the fence." She tells him.

"No. it is not going to happen," He tells her again.

"Peeta come here," She calls out to me.

"Yes mother?" I tell her.

"You know it is funny how your steps downstairs weren't as loud as the ones going upstairs." She tells me with a sarcastic tone.

"You have to make the decision Peeta, this year you have to request tessera," she tells me, as I see my father sit on the kitchen chair, take a deep sigh and put his hand on his face.

"Okay, if it will help," I tell her proudly.

"Ignorance is bliss, you can just imagine that the extra times your name goes into the lottery doesn't exist." She says as she leaves and goes upstairs.

The following day I walked towards the Justice building signed up for tessera, and walked home with the sack. It isn't much but it will allow our family to have something more than stale bread to eat.

The next couple of months we would only have breakfast and a small dinner. Lunch became the one time that we had to go without.

We worked twice as hard in the bakery, everyone pitched in. Most of the people who purchased our breads and pastries understood the reason why the quality of the bread was less. Our numbers were right on for what we produced last year. Even in the time of the Harvest, we actually produced a little bit more. The work took its toll on my father, as I saw him get weaker and weaker. He wasn't eating a much as we were. It was so we would have more to eat.

That was a hard year for me and my family, but we were able to make it through. The anthem song is almost done when I open my eyes and think. It is better to live in reality than in a dream world.

The picture shows District Three's boy tribute. The seal comes back and with that the seal disappears.

I whisper, "She is still alive." I close my eyes and now that although I am shivering, that I would be able to sleep without worry.

The alarm clock in the morning is not one blaring some annoying sound. It doesn't happen that much but sometimes I am unable to wake up early to talk to my father. This time the alarm clock in the arena is the Mockingjays singing, and the gentle water of the stream.

The water starts to ripple slowly. I freeze. Someone is coming. It could be Katniss. I close my eyes but just open it barely to see who is coming. The ripples are a lot slower, whoever it is, is taking their time.

Like a dream, I see her walking by. She is crunching a leave to her ears. Wonder what is wrong. I try to call out her name.

"Kaaa iss," I try to speak. It comes out like sound and nothing like her name. I guess I am weaker than I thought. I try again.

"Katttt iss." The second time is not the charm.

She is turning her head side to side with her bow armed. Did she hear me? I try again

"Katt nisss." I again try to speak. It sounds much like her name now.

She continues to walk slowly. Like that, like a dream she is leaving. I move my hand towards her. If she would just turn to the left, she could see my hand. No luck. She walks away.

I try to get myself out of the hole. My effort gets me a couple of feet dragging my whole body through the stream. Although she is walking slowly, my crawling is much slower, and she is getting farther and farther away.

"Katniss." I say. Finally, it makes sense, but of course she is too far to hear it. If anything I would have to try and get up.

I see a nearby tree with a low branch. If I can make it to the branch I can use it to lift myself up. Probably if I can stand on my good leg I can drag the other one.

Not eating for two days has its effect on me. I am able to drag myself to the tree. I lift my hands to the branch and with the remaining strength that I have I lift my broken body. The pain is unbearable and I fear that I am going to pass out from the pain.

Focus, do not pass out, I tell my body. I am able to reach a place in the tree when I can place my weight on the good leg. Hugging the tree however is not going to get me anywhere.

I can barely see her, going upstream. It is now or never. I break the branch that helped me get up and thing, I can use it for a cane.

I am able to get a couple of feet. Making good progress Peeta, I tell myself. I see that Katniss is going into the forest, a little bit upstream from me. It could be a good thirty or forty feet from me. At the pace I am going, I will get there, hmmm, next year. Enough joking around I think, I have to get there.

I make a mental note where she went in and place that as my goal. I walk a couple of more feet before I have to stop and catch my breath. I place my hand on the rock and realize that blood is on the rock. I try to wipe it clean but it is no use.

Who cares, if anyone is behind me, they can just knock me down and I will die on the spot. I sit on the rock, and think, this maybe the farthest I can go.

I quiet my breath and focus on my surroundings. I can still hear the water on the rocks on the stream. It is a relaxing sound. If it wasn't the arena and we weren't in the Hunger Games, and there wasn't an electrified fence around the District. I wouldn't mind living near a stream. Those are a lot of "wasn'ts."

I feel the cool whispers of the wind through the trees. Probably would put up some wind chimes in the trees to just play its melody. Probably even build some bird houses to have some Mockingjays live nearby. A nice large porch with some rocking chairs, to just sit down and watch the day go by, yeah that sounds nice.

Just then I can hear the Mockingjays nearby. They are singing a song. I try and focus on the song, and I can hear the same four notes I heard the day before. Where would they have learned the song? The birds quickly fly away and I jerk my head around. Is someone coming? What would have spooked them? I look back. I am too exposed. The stream is no place to be if a Career is coming. Even if it is the little girl from eleven, all she would need to do is just nudge me over.

I grab the cane and start to lift myself up. Well I am not going to be around to find out. I see the nearby tree that should provide enough cover. I hobble my way slowly to the tree. As I make it to the tree I have a bad feeling in my stomach. It is the same feeling I had when I heard the explosions.

The cannon fires and I close my eyes. I cannot stand the sound; it is the sound of uncertainty. If I had Katniss next to me, then it wouldn't matter. I don't really care about anyone else in the Games. It is horrible to say, it is horrible to think, but in my heart the situation of this Hunger Games has forced me to make priorities. The only one I want to make sure that they are alright is Katniss.

I grab my cane, and start to quicken the pace. I am back to the stream before I can hear the slight crack. I look around before I hear a louder crack. Before I realize what it is, I am falling. The ground is unforgiving as gravity is to me. I must have hit my head on a rock, because as I try to focus I am about to lose conscience.

No. You have to make it to her. You have to make sure that she is ok. I try to force myself back awake. Stay awake. It is no use. I can feel my eyes close. The trees before me start to get blurred. My eyes slowly close and the last thing I make out is the sound of the second cannon fire.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

The throbbing pain that I feel in my head is enough to let me know that I am not dead. It is early afternoon and I realize that I have been in the same place for more than a couple of hours. I move my head very gently and see the pillow that I had been using. This very large uncomfortable rock stares at me.

Not the same pillow that I had back in the Training Center. Heck I would even enjoy my pillow back home. It is just sheets that we have placed in a pillow case. Having a feather pillow is a luxury that not even we can afford. I lift myself onto one elbow and slowly drag myself up so that I am sitting. How many days have gone by? The water level has gone down and the soft mud is now hard. I check the head wound, and find that no blood. I grab a little bit of water and wet the area. Just as I suspected, dry blood now wet on my finger tips, I hope that there is no cuts. Head wounds are more severe than other cuts or wounds as they can affect more areas that you cannot see, internal bleeding.

My left foot feels numb. That is definitely not a good sign. I grab my trusty broken cane and try to poke areas around my foot. I can still feel the stab of the wood branch, so I sigh. Okay so no nerve damage. I move my hand around the thigh and immediately am jerked back by the pain of the cut that I cannot see. Well at least I know that I am still cut, and can't see it, so ignorance is bliss.

I clean my hands before I scoop up some water to drink. It is cool enough to calm my dry throat. I look up to the sky.

"Hey Haymitch, if it is not too much trouble, how about something to eat, kinda hungry. You know I am supposed to survive, you are supposed to help me." I yell out, not caring if anyone hears me.

The thought of Haymitch just sitting there already writing me off brings my blood to a boil. The only thing that helps me calms myself is if he isn't helping me, and is because he is helping her. That was the plan after all.

"If anyone is going to survive this place, I want it to be her." I tell him.

"You sure about this, you know that no one is watching right now and you are not going to win her over by doing this." He says.

"I don't care, my strategy is clear, that everything I do in the arena is for Katniss to survive. Her family needs her to live, mines not…" I start to tell him.

"Okay, the star cross lover angle it is." He tells me.

The sun begins to set and I know that the anthem is going to start pretty soon. Probably I am fooling myself to think that I can survive this. Every day it is harder to get enough energy to sit up. Sooner or later the infection will win the body's defense.

The anthem begins on cue, and I look up to see who had died. The song blares for a couple of minutes then the seal appear and the night sky is shown. No deaths? Did I imagine the cannon fires? I could remember two distinctive cannons. It means that two died. Could it been that I was out for more than one day? How many of us are left?

The trumpets sound, and I look around. Typically an announcement is given after the trumpets sound, a feast more than likely. The Gamemakers each year would provide a feast to the last remaining tributes. With food being so hard to come it will be a blood bath just like the first day of the Games. It is a way to end the Games quicker.

Claudius Templesmith's voice comes over the speakers. He is congratulating the six remaining tributes. Well that answer the question on how many of us are left. Now who is the six is a different question. Claudius is saying something that I have to think twice about. There has been a change to the rule. What rules? The only rule that we have is to stand on the platform in the beginning for sixty seconds, and of course do not turn cannibal on each other. The rule change is the following, both tributes from the same district will be declared winners if they are the last two alive. He then repeats it again, knowing full well that it was confusing the first time around.

Two victors can win if they are from the same District. My heart quickens. If I know them and I know that I do, Cato and Clove will be looking for me. They will be coming to finish me off. The incentive for them now is that both of them can live, and go home, they just need to kill four of us to do it.

I remember that they have those night glasses, so if anything I need to hide now. I find a nice little hole near the stream. Need to stay near the stream only to continue to re-hydrate myself. If I can hide they would never find me. I place the soft mud on my hands and begin to go to work.

I spent the next hours trying to match the ground in the dark. Not an easy thing, but the moon light does help as I mimic the way the sunlight bounces off the rocks and the leaves. I take breaks in between to recover the little strength I have. I take short naps here and there; have to make sure that if I hear anything that I am able to hide.

When I am finally satisfied with the job I did, I wait until the sun begins to rise. Have little to no sleep doesn't help but I have to be able to see the work in the sunlight. The rays peek through the trees and I can see that it is presentable. I place the mud and leaves on my eye lids. My ears would have to be my eyes, and my hands on the stream water would have to be my alarm that someone is coming.

I can hear the forest begin to come to life. I know that Cato and Clove will be out in full force, seeking me. Knowing how Cato thinks he will make his way to the part where we he cut me. Clove's idea of waiting for the Gamemakers to make something happen will not work. They are now the targets for other non-ghost men.

I should be exhausted but I am more awake now that I have ever been. If it is that Katniss is still alive, Cato and Clove will be coming after me and not her. She has a bow and I have what a branch? I am injured and she is not.

The water ripples by my hands. Someone is coming. I quickly close my eyes and steady my breath. It grows quicker; the ripples and I know that someone is near by. If I open my eyes and they are within line of sight I am done for. I have to resist the temptation to open my eyes and focus my attention on my ears. Is it a heavy breath, like Cato?

Like the Mockingjays in the morning times, I hear a melody. Behind the melody, I hear the whispers of a girl's voice.

"Peeta!" the girl whispers.

I am unsure of who it maybe, as it is in a hushed voice. If it is Clove then she has almost found me. She moves closer.

"Peeta!" again the girl whispers now louder.

My heart is overjoyed for a moment, the voice sounds like Katniss. It is now or never.

"You here to finish me off, sweetheart?" I ask her.

"Peeta? Where are you?" she asks. "Peeta?"

Ouch, her foot stands on my leg. Good thing it is my right one and not the left.

"Well, don't step on me."

I open my eyes, chuckle and look up. She looks down and smiles.

"Close your eyes again," She tells me.

I do what she tells me.

"I guess all those hours decorating cakes paid off." She tells me.

"Yes, frosting. The final defense of the dying." I tell her smiling.

"You are not going to die," she tells me.

I surely feel like I am dying and ask. "Says who?"

"Says me. We're on the same team now, you know." She tells me.

"So, I heard. Nice of you to find what's left of me." I tell her.

She pulls out her water bottle and gives me a sip. The clean water feels so refreshing, that I let out a sigh.

"Did Cato cut you?" She asks me.

Not only cut me but nearly kill me. "Left leg. Up high." I tell her.

"Let's get you in the stream, wash you off so I can see what kind of wounds you've got," she tells me.

"Lean down a minute first. Need to tell you something." I tell her.

She leans down and I whisper.

"Remember, we're madly in love, so it's all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it."

She laughs, "Thanks, I'll keep it in mind."

She tries to pull me out of the hole that I made, and the pain, I don't know how I survived this long. I cry out in pain as it is too much. The tears begin to stream down my cheek. I could just tell her to kill me and put me out of my misery.

"Look Peeta, I'm going to roll you into the stream. It's very shallow here, okay?" She tells me.

"Excellent," I tell her.

"On three, one…two…three." She rolls me, and the pain is just too much. I am breathing heavily and feel that I am going to pass out any minute now. Probably she is trying to kill me.

"Okay, change of plans. I'm not going to put you all the way in," She tells me.

"No more rolling?" I ask her. Please say no, I think to myself. I don't think I can handle any more rolling.

"That's all done. Let's get you cleaned up. Keep an eye on the woods for me, okay?" She tells me.

This I can do. I look out into the woods, but most of the time I am just looking at her. How wonderful that she is here with me. I can see that she is exhausted; the games have taken its toll on her. I wonder how bad I look.

The cool water snaps me back into reality. So this is what it is like to be an elderly person being bathed by someone? I surely feel like one, with my bones aching. She unzips my jacket, unbutton my shirt, and slowly ease them off me.

She grabs a knife and cuts away my undershirt. She moves me towards the bolder, slowly. She props me against the bolder and again washes away all my hard work. Well at least I have a body guard. I winch in pain as she digs out the tracker jacker stingers. She grabs a leaf from her bag, chews it and places the chew leaves on the swollen lumps.

The relief is immediate as the leaves begin to suck out the remaining venom from the wound. She is definitely her mother's daughter. The healer would be proud of her daughter. She walks away with my jacket and shirt and begins to wash them in the stream. The hot sun feels so good on my skin. I haven't been dried since, well. What day is it? How long have I been here in the stream?

She spreads out the clothes to let dry. She turns around and walks back to me. Her braid dancing as she walk slowly back to me. I just stare at her and smile. If this is all a dream, please let me live in it.

She grabs a cream from a tin and places it on my chest. She feels my chest, and then my neck. She walks back to her bag and hands me some pills.

"Swallow these," She tells me. I do without even questioning. "You must be hungry."

"Not really. It's funny, I haven't been hungry for days," I tell her. After passing out a couple of times because of the pain, who needs food? She hands me some chicken looking leg. The nauseous feeling creeps into my mouth. I nod no, but I fear that she will not take no for an answer.

"Peeta, we need to get some food in you," she raises her voice.

"It'll just come right back up," I tell her.

She hands me some dried apples with a look of concern. I grab it to ease her worry and eat a couple.

"Thanks. I'm much better really. Can I sleep now, Katniss?" I ask her.

"Soon, I promise. I need to look at your leg first." She tells me.

She removes my boots and then my socks. She is tugging slowly the pants. As soon as the pants are around my knees, I can see the color of her face disappear and she turns ghost white. I haven't been able to see it or even know how bad it is. If her expression is anything, I know it is bad.

"Pretty awful huh?" I ask her.

"So-so. You should see some of the people they bring my mother from the mines. First thing is to clean it well."

You could always count on Katniss to lie to make you feel better. It is very sweet of her, but I wonder if any of this would help her, or hinder her. I am not exactly able to defend her, or myself. If anything I am liability. She continues to wash off the wound and I finally have the courage to look down to see how badly the wound is.

"Why don't we give it some air and then …" she says unsure of the next step.

"And then you'll patch it up?" I finish her thought for her, knowing full well that it is never that easy.

"That's right," she says unsure. She walks away muttering something to herself. She goes to a first aid kit and with her back to me she says.

"We're going to have to experiment some,"

She grabs some of those leaves she used on my tracker jacker stings and chews them in her mouth. She places the chewed leaves in the wound of my leg. The pain is still there although the throbbing has lessened a little. Who knows maybe she can patch the wound.

I see her face though and the pus coming from the wound is not helping her as I see I may get to see what Katniss had for breakfast.

I try to grab her attention. "Katniss?"

That broke her focus on the wound and she looks at me with those worrisome grey eyes. It is sweet that she is taking care of me. I know that she does this for her little sister.

I mouth the words, "how about that kiss?"

She burst out laughing. I guess the though of a kiss is funny to her.

"Something wrong?" I tell her with a grin.

"I… I'm no good at this. I'm not my mother. I've no idea what I'm doing and I hate pus. Euh!" She says as she starts to cringe at the sight. She places another leave on the wound and cringes again. "Euuuh!"

Just like that, I can see Katniss for who she is. This brave woman that would sacrifice herself for her sister, and would do it again if asked. That braves everyday the man-eaters, the peacekeepers in our District, to feed her family, is nothing more than a sweet girl, who cannot stand pus. It is the reality of this that we are really just kids, sixteen years old, having to grow up way too fast, having to deal with life so early. Our childhoods stolen by District Twelve and now our dreams killed by the Capitol.

"How do you hunt?" I ask her.

"Trust me. Killing things is much easier that this," she says. "Although for all I know, I am killing you."

"Can you speed it up a little," I tell her jokingly.

"No. shut up and eat your pears," she tells me.

After a couple of more baths of the cool water, I feel much cleaner and the wound looks a lot smaller without all that blood around it.

"What next, Dr. Everdeen?" I ask her.

"Maybe I'll put some of the burn ointment on it. I think it helps with the infection anyway. And wrap it up?"

She pulls out the bandage, and looks at me. She turns around and hands me Rue's backpack.

"Here, cover yourself with this and I'll wash your shorts." She tells me hiding a blush.

"Oh, I don't care if you see me," I tell her.

"You're just like the rest of my family. I care all right?" She says.

I remove my shorts and throw them ahead of her.

"You know, you're kind of squeamish for such a lethal person," I tell her. "I wish I'd let you give Haymitch a shower after all."

She looks at me and shivers like the thought is a disgusting one. Well actually it kind of is.

"What's he sent you so far?" She asks me.

"Not a thing," I tell her. "Why, did you get something?"

"Burn medicine, oh, and some bread." She says almost like she got him in trouble.

"I always knew you were his favorite," I tell her, knowing full well that it was all part of the plan to have her survive.

"Please, he can't stand being in the same room with me," she says.

"Because you're just alike," I tell her. It is the truth, Haymitch and Katniss are cut from the same clothe. They think a like; I bet they would even hunt alike if Haymitch was a hunter.

I can see Katniss turn and continues to clean my shorts. I close my eyes for a little bit. It is a nice feeling the warm sun on my skin.

I feel Katniss shake my shoulder. "Peeta, we've got to go now."

"Go? Go where?" I ask her.

"Away from here. Downstream maybe. Somewhere we can hide you until you're stronger." She hands me my clothes. She helps me place the now dry clothes on. She helps me on my feet, and sudden the blood rushes from my head and I feel completely light headed.

"Come on. You can do this." She encourages me.

I start to hobble with her. The food and the clean water has given me strength but it is the though of Katniss here gives the will to live, the will to make it. I make it probably a good hundred feet, before I have to catch my breath. I can feel the forest start to spin, and I don't think she realizes that I am not fully recovered. I put my hand on her shoulder telling her to rest. She helps me to sit, and tells me to place my head between my knees.

She pats me on my back.

"Think you can make it to that cave?" She asks.

"Well let's see, think you will have to help me, as the room is starting to spin." I tell her.

She places her hands under my arms and we walk slowly to the cave.


	19. Chapter 19

PART III

"THE COST OF THE GOAT"

Chapter Nineteen

Coming apart at the seams, is what we call a person who is coming to terms with their own death. It is said that as a person's body begin to shut down it literally feels like they are coming apart. Although it is rare, it is their sheer will of a person that keeps it from coming completely undone.

This is something that I thought I could never understand until right now. Everything in my body is crying out to stop. It is harder to breath and it feels the more air I get the more I need. The beating of my heart has quickened and nothing can calm it down. Although I feel weak from my left leg, I hardly feel it now. It could be that it is going numb or worst things that I am not going to think about. If I stop my movement I will fall right where I stand.

I forgot how much heavy I am, as I see Katniss struggling to get me to a point where I can sit. I finally am able to sit down and my heart begins to slow down.

I see that Katniss begins to prepare the cave, places pine needles on the ground to make it softer. She places the supplies on a rock and grabs the sleeping bag. She unrolls the sleeping bag while my breath starts to go to a normal state. She pats the sleeping bag and drops myself to do as ordered.

She gives me a couple of pills and water, which I drink without thinking. She tries to give me something to eat, and my stomach simply would not hold down anything so I nod my head.

She continues concealing the cave so that no one finds us. I look at her, determined. She has a strong but gentle heart. It reminds me so much of the day of the reaping, and her refusing to let emotions win her over, however being gentle with her sister. Is this what it feels like to be loved? I know she is just looking out for me so that we both survive, but it comes from a place of true concern. If only as a friend, I know that she would protect me, and I cannot have that.

"Katniss," I call her. She comes over to me leans down and caress my hair out of my face. "Thanks for finding me."

She smiles and I wish her hands would stay. "You would have found me if you could," She tells me.

She places her hand on my head and I can tell that it is not good. I guess I am still running a fever.

"Yes. Look, if I don't make it back -" I start to tell her before she interrupts me.

"Don't talk like that. I didn't drain all that pus for nothing." She says.

Why won't she listen to reason? I know that I am going to die, just let me go. Let me go, let me say my goodbyes so that I can have some peace in my heart.

"I know. But just in case I don't -" I try again only to be once again interrupted.

"No, Peeta, I don't even want to discuss it," she says placing her fingers on my hand. I move her hand out of my mouth, needing to say this so that I can have some sort of closure. I want to tell her how much she means to me, and how much this right here means to me.

"But I -" I try again.

She leans in and before I am able to stop her, I can feel her soft lips on mine. My heartbeat slows to an even pace. I close my eyes and force my mind to remember this moment. I can still see her in the little red plaid dress, singing in front of the auditorium. Or the time she was walking through the hallway of the school with her books in her hand. How she was skipping through the path home with her father hand in hand, as I walk behind her home. The time I saw her run against all the older kids and win. Her passionate grey eyes with flames around her the day of the opening games. Her soft hands holding mine as we rode around in the chariot. I can still remember the concern in her voice as she re-told the story of the girl and boy in the woods. I don't know why, but all these memories just flashes in slow motion before my mind in this kiss.

She breaks away from the kiss and I can see her eyes have registered what my heart has always felt.

"You're not going to die. I forbid it. All right?" She tells me softly.

"All right," I tell her.

I accept the fact that if anything is going to happen to me, she is going to make an effort to stop it. I can still feel the impression of her lips on mines. I see her walk outside the cave.

I feel her lips on my lips again. I open my eyes, must have dozed off. I smile and just stare at her eyes.

She holds up a pot. "Peeta, look what Haymitch has sent you."

Me? After pleading and begging Haymitch to send me something so that I don't die of starvation and get nothing. Now that Katniss is with me, we start to get gifts? I want to tell her that it is actually meant for you, but I just smile and say "oh, that is nice, guess he is awake from his drunken stupor."

"Well you know you have to finish this whole pot." She tells me.

"What about you?" I ask her.

"I have the groosling and roots that you did not want." She tells me with a look.

"Oh, is that what that is called, I though it would be grossling, cause it looks gross." I tell her smiling.

"Please Peeta, you need to eat something. Just think of it like this, it is just broth, no meat." She pleads with me.

"It will just come back up; I haven't been able to hold anything down for a couple of days now." I tell her.

"Well we will just go slowly, one sip we wait to see, and then another, okay?" She negotiates with me.

"Look if you don't eat, there won't be any desert." She says playfully.

"What's for desert?" I ask.

"Well what would you like?" She asks.

"Well if you are offering, I would like a…kiss?" I ask.

She smiles and can see that she starts to blush.

"Okay, if you can finish the whole thing, I will give you a kiss." She tells me.

"How about this, for every five sips, I get a kiss?" I ask.

"Ten sips and we have a deal." She says with a shy voice.

I must have taken very small sips, after all not every day I get to live out one of my dreams. By the time I am done, I can see that Katniss hasn't eaten anything.

I ask her, "is it ok now that I get some sleep, all this kissing has taken a lot out of me."

She nods and I slowly drift asleep, hoping that when I wake up that it wasn't all a dream. For some reason I think I imagine her in the same sleeping bag as me. Her heart beat next to mine.

I wake up only to find a lonely cave. It wasn't a dream, as I can see the pot there next to me. The supplies neatly placed in the bag. Where is she though? Did she hear something and go and investigate? Was it Cato and Clove? Did something happen to her? I try to get up, when I see her walk into the cave.

"I woke up and you were gone. I was worried about you," I tell her.

"You were worried about me?" She chuckles "have you taken a look at yourself lately?"

"I thought Cato and Clove might have found you. They like to hunt at night," I say.

"The girl from District Two. She's still alive, right?" I ask.

"Yes, there's just them and us and Thresh and Foxface." She tells me. "That's what I nicknamed the girl from Five. How do you feel?"

"Better than yesterday. This is an enormous improvement over the mud. Clean clothes and medicine and a sleeping bag … and you," I tell her with a smile.

She comes to check my temperature with her hand but I grab her hand and slowly kiss her hand. She smells divine, sweet berries I think.

"No more kisses for you until you've eaten," She tells me.

That is all the motivation I need to eat the berry umm mush. She tries to hide the grossing in the berry but I catch it and tell her that it still doesn't look appetizing. I look at her eyes, and can see that she didn't sleep. She must be exhausted having to stand guard all night and still have to go out and find food for us.

"You didn't sleep," I tell her.

"I'm all right," she tells me, but I know she is tired.

"Sleep now. I'll keep watch. I'll wake you if anything happens." I tell her. She thinks about it for a second before I tell her, "Katniss, you can't stay up forever."

She looks out to the opening of the cave, and tells me. "All right, but just for a few hours. Then you wake me."

She lays down on top of the sleeping bag, one had on her bow. I sit next to her looking at the cave entrance.

I whisper to her, "go to sleep," she closes her eyes. I brush her hair off from her face. Stroking her hair behind her ears. She finally falls asleep.

It is peaceful watching her sleep. She looks so perfect in the morning light. I wish I could just have something to capture this moment. Just for a moment, I allow myself to dream of a life with her. That we weren't bound by circumstances in our lives in the District. That we haven't been condemned to a horrible nightmare of the Arena, that we are not all the ghost men of our District.

I just look at her for a while. Gently caress her hair. This is it, right here. This moment is what true happiness could be. I have cared for her ever since I can remember. Could she see a life with me, if it was possible to dream?

It is a little bit in the afternoon when I remembered that I never did get that kiss from earlier in the day. I lean in, and kiss her on her forehead. That is when I hear her moan a little bit. She opens her eyes and sits up.

"Peeta, you were supposed to wake me after a couple of hours," She tells me angrily.

"For what? Nothing's going on here. Besides I like watching you sleep. You don't scowl. Improves your looks a lot." I say.

This of course brings a scowl and I can't help but smile. Her faces changes back from peaceful, to worrisome in a matter of seconds. She places her hand on my cheek to check my temperature.

"Have you been drinking water, like I told you?" She asks.

"Yes, I have been," I tell her.

She grabs the container and shakes it.

"Oh, you mean today? Yes, today I did have some water." I tell her, trying to lighten the mood.

"You are still running a fever. Here have some more of the pills to lower your fever." She tells me.

I drink the pills and says "see drinking water."

"The whole thing, Peeta. You know how important it is to keep yourself hydrated." She hands back the container.

I drink the first quart, and motion that the container is empty. She hands me a second one. As I am drinking the second quart, she tends to my burns and my stings.

"Oh they are getting much better. Now let's take a look at that leg." She says.

She slowly removes the wrapping from my leg and cannot hide her expression. It is like she watching a wounded animal die. I look down and see the red streaks coming from the wound. There is no denying it, blood poisoning.

I look up and she says "well, there's more swelling, but the pus is gone."

"I know what blood poisoning is, Katniss," I tell her. "Even if my mother isn't a healer."

"You're just going to have to outlast the others, Peeta. They'll cure it back at the Capitol when we win," She tells me.

I know she means well. If this was a couple days ago, I would probably believe her. If I know Cato and especially Clove, they will just sit back and wait for the Gamemakers to force our hand. Out of the six that are left, I am the weakest. It is easier just to wait and I would definitely die sooner than later.

"Yes, that's a good plan," I tell her.

"You have to eat. Keep your strength up. I'm going to make you soup," She tells me.

"Don't light a fire," I tell her. "It's not worth it."

I wanted to tell her, that I am not worth it, but I know that she doesn't think that. If we were thinking this clearly and without emotions then it is easier just to let me die. If I had enough strength I would just walk out of the cave the next time she goes to sleep, and just hide from her. She shouldn't have to protect me; she should be hunting them down and surviving.

"We'll see." She tells me as she walks out with the pot.

The thought of this takes away the little happiness that I had. Reality always does do that to dreams, they kill it.

Katniss walks back to the cave.

"Do you want anything?" She asks me.

"No," I tell her. "Thank you. Wait yes. Tell me a story."

"A story? What about?" She asks.

"Something happy. Tell me about the happiest day you can remember." I tell her. Sometimes a story can take your mind off of your current situation. My father would do that all the time.

That year that we didn't have enough flour, my father would tell me stories about how magical life would be if we lived different lives. He would start the story and somewhere in the middle he would pass it to me, to continue. It helped keep our mind thinking of other things. It kept us from losing hope.

"Did I ever tell you about how I got Prim's goat?" She asks me.

I shake my head no.

She begins to tell me how she was able to get Prim's goat and how she sold an old silver locket of her Mother's to get the money for the goat.

The goat was hurt pretty badly, but she wanted it. They tricked the Goat man, with the help of the butcher Rooba, into selling the Goat to her. I wonder, am I the goat in this story?

Anyways, she took the Goat to her mother. They nursed it back to health. How her mother made some herbs and brews down to get it healthy.

"They sound like you," I tell her. Dr. Evergreen.

"Oh, no, Peeta. They work magic. That thing couldn't have died if it tried." She says, before she catches herself and looks at me with an apology ready at her mouth.

"Don't worry. I'm not trying," I joke. "Finish the story."

"Well, that's it. Only I remember that night, Prim insisted on sleeping with Lady on a blanket next to the fire. And just before they drifted off, the goat licked her cheek, like it was giving her a good night kiss or something," She tells me. "It was already mad about her."

If I am the goat in this story, and Prim is Katniss, is she asking me to kiss her in her own way? Or probably I am just too much into the story.

"Was it still wearing the pink ribbon?" I ask.

"I think so," she says. "Why?"

"I'm just trying to get a picture," I tell her. "I can see why that day made you happy."

Katniss is always putting the happiness of other above her own. That is one the things that I like about her. She is happy when others are happy.

"Well, I knew that goat would be a little gold mine," she says.

"Yes, of course I was referring to that, not the lasting joy you gave the sister you love so much you took her place in the reaping," I tell her.

"The goat has paid for itself. Several times over," She says smugly.

"Well, it wouldn't dare do anything else after you saved its life." I tell her. "I intend to do the same thing."

"Really? What did you cost me again?" She asks me playing along.

"A lot of trouble. Don't worry. You'll get it all back," I tell her, not letting her know that I am still going to try to have her survive even if I have to give my life in return.

"You're not making sense," She says as she tests my forehead. "You're a little cooler though."

All of the sudden the trumpets sounds. Katniss runs to the opening of the cave. I slide myself over to hear.

"Attention Tributes. As a showing of the generosity the Capitol giving you not what you want but what you need. They have decided to invite all six of you to a little feast." There is a pause. "Now hold on. Some of you may already be declining my invitation. But this is no ordinary feast. Each of you needs something desperately."

She looks at me, and I know that she is already deciding to go for me.

"Each of you will find that something in a backpack, marked with your district number, at the Cornucopia at dawn. Think hard about refusing to show up. For some of you, this will be your last chance."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

It is only for a moment but it feels like an eternity. We just stare at each other, knowing that no one wants to starts this conversation but someone has to. How can you let someone go to what is certainly going to be their death? The fact that they would try, shows concern and who knows even affection. But still I cannot let her do this.

"No," I tell her seriously. "You're not risking your life for me."

"Who said I was?" She says.

"So, you're not going?" I ask knowing full well the next thing that is coming out of her mouth would be a lie. I have noticed that when Katniss lies she cannot make eye contact. So I know that is it coming because she turns away from my and looks outside the cave.

"Of course, I'm not going. Give me some credit. Do you think I'm running straight into free-for-all against Cato and Clove and Thresh? Don't be stupid, I'll let them fight it out, we'll see who's in the sky tomorrow night and work out a plan from there." She tells me.

"You're such a bad liar, Katniss. I don't know how you've survived this long." I tell her. "Never gamble at cards. You'll lose your last coin."

She turns back to me, eyes on fire with determination. "All right, I am going, and you can't stop me!"

"I can follow you. At least partway. I make not make it to the Cornucopia, but if I'm yelling your name, I bet someone can find me. And then I'll be dead for sure," I tell her.

That is my only play. Take away the reason why she is going. If someone kills me, I protect her. She would have to stay and make sure that I don't go out. It is a horrible thing to do and I know she will probably hate me for it, but I am only trying to save her. Why won't she let me?

"You won't get a hundred yards from here on that leg," She tells me.

Probably true, I would pass out from the pain. But I won't let her go out to die.

"Then I'll drag myself," I tell her, determined to show her that I will not let her. "You go and I'm going, too."

She leans in closer. She places her hand on my cheek, probably to check if I am speaking madness because of the fever. However this time it is different. I can see real concern in her eyes.

"What am I suppose to do? Sit here and watch you die?" She says.

I grab her hand, and tell her. "I won't die. I promise. If you promise not to go." She knows that I am in no position to make this sort of guarantee. The blood poisoning will probably kill me before the games is over. But if she goes and gets killed then the remaining moments I have would be my own personal hell. Knowing that the girl with the braid was gone, never to live her life again, this is worst than death.

She stares at me, deep in my eyes and tells me.

"Then you have to do what I say. Drink your water, wake me when I tell you, and eat every bite of the soup no matter how disgusting it is!"

For a moment, I cannot tell if she is lying or telling me the truth. I try to find some hint in her expression and cannot find it.

"Agreed. Is it ready?" I ask.

"Wait here," she tells me, as she goes outside.

She comes back with the soup ready to be eaten. I take the soup with the determination that I will keep it all down no matter how it tastes. Oddly enough it isn't half bad.

"You know, it doesn't taste all that bad. I might have to ask for seconds." I tell her.

I finish the entire pot before Katniss comes and gives me more fever pills. She looks at me from a distance making sure that I am comfortable.

"I am going to go wash up. I will be right outside." She tells me.

Katniss comes back after a couple of minutes with something in her hand.

"I've brought you a treat. I found a new patch of berries a little farther downstream." She tells me.

Odd, I never saw berries by the stream. I open my mouth and it tastes funny, almost too sweet. Something is familiar, although I cannot put my finger on it.

"They're very sweet." I tell her, as I slowly chew the next spoonful.

"Yes, they're sugar berries. My mother makes jam from them. Haven't you ever had them before?" She says as I eat the next spoonful.

Sugar berries? I have never heard of them. Something about the taste though that is familiar, and if they are sugar berries how come I have never see them before.

"No, but they taste familiar. Sugar berries?" I ask.

"Well, you can't get them in the market much, they only grow wild," she tells me as another spoonful goes into my mouth.

Wild? This doesn't make any sense. I look up at her.

"They're sweet as syrup," I say as another spoonful goes into my mouth. "Syrup."

It is sleep syrup. My mother would hide the taste in the pastries that she would give us as 'rewards' for eating when we were sick.

Katniss clamps my mouth shut as I try to spit it out. No good, as I swallow the last spoonful. She let's go of my mouth. I try to make myself throw it up and nothing is coming out. I can feel my head go light. The room starts to spin and I know that it is no use. I cannot believe it. I turn to look at her.

Her eyes lock in on mines, this maybe the last time I see her alive. I focus to take in all that I can every detail of her face. Why would she do this? I tried to protect her. This was to protect her. I didn't want her sacrificing herself for me. I am not worth the trouble; I am not worth the effort. Her sister needs her, does she realize that? My eyes close.

I am in the kitchen table staring at the wood grain. It is the same kitchen table I have eaten at for all these years. I look up and around and see that I am back in my old house. At the back door, I can see my father talking to someone. Is it her?

I stand up and walk over to the door. Before I can get to it, the door closes and I can see a glimpse of the braid.

"Good morning Peeta, look what I have?" My father tells me, showing the rabbit he just got.

"That is great news, but can I just talk to the hunter real quick?" I tell him.

He moves aside and as I open the door, I see the waiting room at the Justice building. I turn back only to see the wooden door close and lock. What just happened? I look around and walk to the center of the room. The door opens and I see my parents come into the room. My father eyes the same as I last saw them. I sit down on the couch.

"What's going on?" I ask them.

"We are here to say goodbye son," my father tells me.

"But we already did this, about a week ago." I tell him.

They look to each other puzzled.

"Look I don't have time for this; I have to talk to her." I tell them.

"Who?" He asks me.

"You know who, Katniss. What is going on?" I tell them.

Just then the peacekeepers open the door and take my parents away, and lock the door behind them. I cannot take this, what is going on.

I go to the door, and just then the door opens and the peacekeeper tells me

"It's time."

We walk down the marble stairs to the back door where the car that we took back in District Twelve is waiting. Good I can talk to her in the car.

Just as we get to the door. He opens the door and I see the soft steel wall. Puzzled. I step out into the corridor. Seeing the outside whiz by at a high speed, and I realize that I am on the train heading to the Capitol.

I turn and walk towards Katniss room. As I walk around the corner, I see Effie.

"Oh, Peeta, how wonderful that you are awake, love the outfit you chose. Come it is time for dinner and we must not be late, after all that is just bad manners," says Effie.

I look down and see that I am not longer in the arena clothes but in clothes that I wore on the train.

"Will Katniss be at dinner? I have to speak with her." I ask her.

"Well of course, where else would she be?" She tells me.

We walk towards the dining car. The door slides open and I walk into the roof of the Training Center. I think to myself what is going on?

I walk outside and then think, 'garden.' I run quickly to the garden only to find she isn't there. I call out her name "Katniss!" Nothing, I checked everywhere, and nothing. I go to the door that leads back downstairs. I press my hands against the door, knowing that if I open the door, it may not lead me to her.

I open my eyes and there is a door opening. I walk through and find that I am back in the Training Center Gymnasium. I can hear people singing and find that I am back in the private lesson with the Gamemakers.

"MURDERERS!" I yell out, as I grab a heavy weight and hurl it to them.

"You killed them. You killed them all. For what? Your enjoyment?"

They scatter, shocked at the scene.

"Where is she? What did you do to her? Tell me, or I will rip your head from your body." I tell them at the top of my lungs.

Just then I feel the zapping of the Peacekeepers batons. The electricity races through my body and I am immediately on the ground convulsing.

I close my eyes and all of the sudden someone taps me on the shoulder.

"You're on." A person in a black suit with headphones on tells me.

I am walking on stage and see Caesar waiting to have our interview. I sit down and ask.

"Where is Katniss?"

"Katniss? Well she just had her interview Peeta, why do you ask? Is there something going on that we don't know about? Hmmm?" He smiles.

"I don't have time for this." I tell him and begin to get up when a dozen peacekeepers grab me. They wrestle me to the ground. It is chaos, and I cannot see who is who, all I see are bodies on top of me.

They pick me up and take me to a cell, I think. I can see the door fast approaching.

"No, no more, I cannot take it anymore." I tell the Peacekeepers.

"Where you are going is hell itself." He tells me.

"Kill me, but no more." I tell them.

The door opens and they place me in a tube. I am banging on the tube.

"NO! No more. Please." I beg as the platform begins to rise. I close my eyes. I can't take this anymore.

This is all a dream I tell myself, it has to be. I can feel the wind and when I open them, I see a clock counting down. I turn to the left and that is when I see her. She is poised to make a run for it. I am about to take a step, when I remember that I am on the platform and if I take a step I would be blown off it.

Would you die in a dream if you know it is a dream? Well more like a nightmare. The gong hits and I am set running for her. I see that Cato is running in front of me towards her.

My heart is racing, and my leg strangely enough is completely healed. I can make it; I can run faster than Cato.

"NO!" I yell out, as I grab a rock and hurl it towards him. This time however the rock misses. Wait, that isn't suppose to happen. I see Katniss trip and fall to the ground. Cato grabs her and is strangling her with his bare hands.

I am running as fast as I can. When I see he snaps her neck and she falls to the ground, lifeless.

Just then something stabs me in the neck, and I fall to the ground. Just as I am about to lose conscious, I see her on the ground lifeless. Her eyes trained on mines. No more.

I open them and see the hard rock of the cave. I slowly get up and find that my leg doesn't hurt as much as usual. I see Katniss's back is to me, so I work myself gingerly to her face. It was all a dream. We are back in the cave and everything was just a dream. That is when the panic sits in. She is hurt, badly, a pool of blood all over. I grab my sleeve and hold up her head. The blood is coming out quicker.

What did you do Katniss? How you could be so reckless? It must have taken a couple of hours to see that the blood has finally stopped. I check to see if she is still breathing and find that she is. I just collapse against the wall, exhausted from the nightmares both real and not real.

I grab some bandages and start to wrap her head around. I move her hair out of her eyes and kiss her forehead.

After a couple of hours of thinking about everything, I finally come apart and just break down. No one to see me but the camera's in the Capitol. Oh and the millions of people back in Panem and the Districts. Wouldn't I love just to shut off the cameras right about now. This is my private moment, and they shouldn't be able to take it.

I close my eyes and finally let myself fall asleep. It was all a dream and she is ok, I say over and over. She is breathing. She is ok.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty One

The sunlight peeks through the cave wall. It is early morning when I see that the dark sky has this glow of orange. It is such a wonderful color. I have always loved watching the sunrise. If only it was in a much happier place, I would ask Katniss to watch it with me. The grayness of the day simply goes away from the sun. My father once told me that the sunrise is a kiss of the sun and earth. The rays that come from them are the passion that they have for each other. They long to be with each other, so that is what a sunset is. The reuniting of their love and the rays dwindle because they are in each other arms. I look back to Katniss, there sleeping peacefully. I come over Katniss checking her bandage. I kiss her forehead and I caress her cheek.

"Katniss, Katniss, can you hear me?" I whisper to her.

Her eyes begin to flutter and open. She looks a little dazed as to trying to place where she is.

"Peeta?" She says.

"Hey, good to see your eyes again." I tell her. Honestly it is good to see at all. I thought after the nightmares that I would never get to see her again. It is good to see she is ok.

"How long have I been out?" She asks me.

"Not sure. I woke up yesterday evening and you were lying next to me in a very scary pool of blood," I tell her. "I think it's stopped finally, but I wouldn't sit up or anything."

She lifts her hand to her hand and I can tell she is dizzy because she quickly lowers it. I get a bottle of water and place it on her lips.

"You're better," she tells me.

"Much better. Whatever you shot into my arm did the trick," I tell her. "By this morning, almost all the swelling in my leg was gone."

Honestly I should be angry at her for tricking me, but you know I am actually grateful that she saved my life. I can finally save hers. I can finally take care of her.

"Did you eat?" she asks.

"I'm sorry to say I gobbled down three pieces of that grossling before I realized it might have to last a while. Don't worry, I'm back on a strict diet," I tell her patting on my stomach.

It took me closing my eyes and eating the thing, to not have it come back up. After a while the taste wasn't that bad. It sort of reminded me of a wild turkey that we once had. Those are rare in the District and well it is only traded at either the Hobb or through the hunters at our backdoor.

"No, it's good. You need to eat. I'll go hunting soon," she tells me.

"Not too soon, all right?" I tell her. "You just let me take care of you for a while."

She nods.

If I know Katniss, she would go outside the cave right now with her bow and arrow to hunt if I asked her to. Since her Father died, she had no one looking out for her. I know that it is hard for her to let go and let someone else take care of her, but she is in no condition to do so.

I grab some of groosling, and start to feed it to her.

"Now if you want some desert, let me know," I tell her smiling.

"I will let you know," she tells me.

"Here let me warm your feet, don't want you catch pneumonia." I tell her, and begin to warm her feet with my hands. I wrap my jacket around her feet and place them inside the sleeping bag.

"Your boots and socks are still damp and the weather's not helping much," I tell her, as the rain continues to pour down.

I look outside the cave at the storm.

"I wonder what brought on this storm? I mean, who's the target?" I tell her.

"Cato and Thresh," she says.

I turn around.

"Foxface will be in her den somewhere, and Clove … she cut me an then …"

"I know Clove's dead. I saw it in the sky last night," I tell her. "Did you kill her?"

Out of all the four that are left, Clove would be our greatest adversary. It isn't because of her ability to throw knives although that in itself is deadly, but it is her controlling nature. The way she manipulates the situation, and people, it is a gift that not many people have. People like that, you have to watch out for. I think Haymitch would have been like that back in his games, manipulating people and circumstances for his advantage.

"No. Thresh broke her skull with a rock," She says.

"Lucky he didn't catch you, too," I tell her.

"He did. But he let me go," She says.

"How did that happen?" I ask.

"Well the sun was just rising when I saw the District Twelve bag on a table in front of the Cornucopia. It was so tense the atmosphere like you know we were all just waiting for someone to make a move."

"Okay, so Cato wasn't there at the Cornucopia?" I ask her.

"No, but Foxface had hidden herself inside the Cornucopia, probably waiting there since the night before. Dangerous I know but if anyone could have done it, would be her." She says.

"That is pretty smart of her; I would have never thought to look inside the Cornucopia." I tell her.

"Well I thought if anything I would make a run for it and not wait any longer. So I grab the bag, but not before one of Clove's knives sliced my forehead. I try to get her with an arrow but couldn't see with the blood over my eyes. She grabbed me and pinned me on the ground. I thought that was it, when she started taunting me, telling me that it was her idea to kill Rue." She says.

I can't help but look at her with concern. She almost died.

"Katniss, the thought of you almost…" I try to tell her, before I stop myself, "I am sorry but I wouldn't be able to handle it."

"I am sorry Peeta, I just couldn't let you die the way that Rue died. We had a plan to meet up after blowing up the supplies of the Careers and I couldn't save her, I got there too late. The boy from District One had prepared a trap and by the time I reached her, a spear had killed her. I couldn't…I couldn't let that happen to you," she tells me.

"I am sorry Katniss," I tell her and hold her face in my heads.

"Well I couldn't leave her like that, she was a child Peeta. The same age as Prim, that is all I kept thinking about how it could have been Prim. I grab as many flowers as I could and placed them all around her so that she wouldn't be alone. I sang to her Peeta, until she died in my hands," she continues.

"I saw you after the explosion walking through the stream. I tried to call out to you but you didn't hear me." I tell her. "I heard the two cannon fires. I try, Katniss, I tried to help, but I couldn't." I tell her.

"Well you couldn't, not with the injury you had. The explosion, deafen my ear, I probably didn't hear you, when you called out to me." She tells me. "I still can't hear from this ear."

"I thought it was you. The cannon's, that one of them was you." As I move my face away from her, not wanting her to see my tears.

She grabs my hand, and I turn to face her.

"Thresh didn't kill me, I am right here. He let me go because he didn't want to owe me. For staying with Rue until she died."

"He let you go because he didn't want to owe you anything?" I repeat to her.

"Yes. I don't expect you to understand it. You've always had enough. But if you'd lived in the Seam, I wouldn't have to explain," she says.

"And don't try. Obviously I'm too dim to get it." I tell her.

"It's like the bread. How I never seem to get over owing you for that," she tells me looking down.

"The bread? What? From when we were kids?" I tell her. "I think we can let that go. I mean, you just brought me back from the dead."

"But you didn't know me. We had never even spoken. Besides, it's the first gift that's always the hardest to pay back. I wouldn't even have been here to do it if you hadn't helped me then," she tells me. "Why did you, anyways?"

"Why? You know why," I tell her holding her hand.

She nods as she doesn't know.

"Haymitch said you would take a lot of convincing," I tell her.

"Haymitch, what's he got to do with it?" she asked puzzled.

"Nothing," I tell her. "So, Cato and Thresh huh? I guess it's too much to hope that they'll simultaneously destroy each other?"

She looks down, and for a second I think she is about to cry. I come over to her.

"I think we would like Thresh. I think he'd be our friend back in District Twelve." She tells me.

"Then let's hope Cato kills him, so we don't have to," I tell her. No one should have to kill their friends.

Katniss looks up to me with tears in her eyes.

"What is it? Are you in a lot of pain?" I ask her.

"I want to go home, Peeta," she says in a moment of weakness. I see her as the world should have seen her, as a little girl, too young for this responsibility. She didn't want to come here but had to. You could tell if she had the choice she wouldn't have killed Marvel, or Glimmer, she would have found another way. She just wants to go home.

"You will. I promise." I tell her and kiss her on her cheek.

"I want to go home now." She says.

"Tell you what. You go back to sleep and dream of home. And you'll be there for real before you know it," I tell her. "Okay?"

"Okay," she tells me. "Wake me if you need me to keep watch."

"I'm good and rested, thanks to you and Haymitch. Besides, who knows how long this will last?" I tell her looking outside the cave.

With that she falls asleep. I come over and tuck the sleeping bag up to her chin, and sit by her, staring out the cave entrance. After a couple of hours, I just sit there I lay down next to her my face facing hers. The rain has always given me a peaceful feeling.

The rain has gone from a light rain, to a steady downpour. I get up and place the pot under a hole where the water is coming into. I grab the plastic from the supplies and wedge it in a way that it deflects the water from Katniss.

Back home, it would be something that I loved to do. I have always loved watching the rain. It is about the cleaning of everything that I love. The sound it makes on the tin overhang of the bakery. Many people don't come to the bakery in the rain so I would just sit by the display case listening to the rain. It is like a melody of the different pings as it hit different places. Everything just seems cleaner after the rain, even the air feels cleaner.

Once I walked outside and just stood in the rain, not caring if I got sick. I don't know why but when we were kids, we would love to run and play in the rain. Jump in mud puddles and not care. As people have gotten older, they seem to have run from it. They no longer play in the rain, or just in puddles. As we grow, do we forget the things that would bring us joy? If I had the chance and I was back in District Twelve that would probably be the first thing that I do. Jump in a mud puddle, play in the rain and not care about tomorrow.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty Two

The night sky is starting to appear, as the sun begins to hide itself behind the ground and yet the rain has not yet stopped. I watch Katniss sleep soundly and wonder if I should wake her up, after all her body needs to eat or is it better to let it heal? My own body needs to eat and I don't want to eat without her. I caress her feet, it is odd but for a hunter her feet are soft to the touch. It must have been the Capitol because I have always thought that after years of hunting that they would be rough from the boots.

She opens her eyes.

"Hey, are you hungry?" I ask her.

I bring her the last two pieces of groosling. If the rain doesn't stop we might have to ration it.

"Should we try and ration it?" I ask her.

"No, let's just finish it. The groosling's getting old anyway, and the last thing we need is to get sick spoil food." She tells me. "If we eat it slowly we can trick our stomach into thinking that we are eating a large meal."

We eat slowly, taking every bite as it was three bites. The groosling last probably a couple of minutes. It is one thing to want to savor it and another what the body wants which is to be full. The body of course wins out and we are done, still hungry.

"Tomorrow's a hunting day," she tells me, grabbing the bow.

"I won't be much help with that," I tell her. "I've never hunted before."

"I'll kill and you cook," she tells me. "And you can always gather."

That is a good plan. I have always been a better cook anyways. Whenever my father was tired and couldn't cook, I would always take the opportunity to cook the meat, whatever it was; after all, it was already skinned.

Most of the time it comes out edible, other times not even the pig would eat, which we always tried to feed it. I guess the pig would rather starve than eat. I don't think I will mention this to Katniss.

The bread however, I would always get it right. Meats are a mystery to me, though. My father always knew how to make stale bread taste like it is as new as the day it was made. He would sprinkle just the right amount of water on the bread and heat it to just the right temperature to soften the bread. If it was originally made correctly, the taste would be baked in, and the heat would bring it out just as if it was made that day. It is imprinted into itself.

"I wish there was some sort of bread bush out there," I tell her.

"The bread they sent me from District Eleven was still warm," she tells me wishing that she still had some. "Here, chew these."

She hands me a couple of mint leaves and it does help with quenching the hunger.

The anthem begins to play and we go to the entrance of the cave. We try to make the seal of the Capitol, but it is raining too hard to make it out. Did someone die today? Was someone killed? Nothing, there were no pictures of anyone in the night sky. After the anthem ends, the seal disappears. I guess there are still five of us left.

I look to Katniss wondering, "where did Thresh go? I mean, what's on the far side of the circle?" She asks me.

"A field. As far as you can see it's full of grasses as high as my shoulders. I don't know, maybe some of them are grain. There are patches of different colors. But there are no paths," I tell her.

"I bet some of them are grain. I bet Thresh knows which ones, too," she says. "Did you go in there?"

"No. Nobody really wanted to track Thresh down in that grass." I tell her. It isn't so much that the Careers didn't want to kill Thresh; it was more than their priorities were to kill Katniss. I don't mention this to her, because it would open wounds that are painful. It was like Cato and Clove were obsessed with killing Katniss at all cost. Once they would be able to do that, they probably would have picked off the weaker ones. Thresh certainly was no weak one. If anything they would leave him until the end.

I honestly think that Cato had to re-think his plan because without Clove, he had no one to help in trapping people. Probably Cato is after Foxface, as she is alone and really hasn't proved to have any weapons, or not any that we know of. According to Katniss, she was able to raid the supplies. I wonder how she figured out the placement of the mines. Could it be that she was there hiding watching the boy place the mines? I wouldn't doubt it; people can surprise you when they desire to live.

"It has a sinister feeling to it. Every time I look at that field, all I can think of are hidden things. Snakes, rabid animals, and quicksand," I tell her. "There could be anything in there."

She looks at me and jokes, "maybe there is a bread bush in that field. Maybe that's why Thresh looks better fed now than when we started the Games."

"Either that or he's got very generous sponsors," I tell her. "I wonder what we'd have to do to get Haymitch to send us some bread."

Katniss looks at me for a minute, like she is actually thinking of what it would take.

"Well, he probably used up a lot of resources helping me knock you out," she tells me.

"Yeah about that," I tell her, holding her hand. "Don't try something like that again."

"Or what?" She says.

Does she know that she can't keep risking her life for me? She has to begin to think on how she is going to win the games. We have to come up with a plan, not just hide out and hope that Cato kills Thresh. We would still need to deal with Foxface and even then Cato. We can't always be on the defensive.

"Or… or…" Try to put into words that she has to not see me as a friend or even as a person, but a tool that she can use to win. "Just give me a minute."

"What's the problem?" she says with a smile.

"The problem is we're both alive. Which only reinforces the idea in your mind that you did the right thing," I tell her.

It wasn't the right thing. I have made my peace with dying. The thing is that with my death I want to make it count. To have me live and her die, would make my life pointless. It wouldn't matter if I lived but she has to. If I could take out someone like Cato or Thresh, to help better the odds for Katniss I would do it in a second.

"I did do the right thing," she says.

"No! Just don't Katniss! Don't die for me. You won't be doing me any favors. All right?" I tell her trying to let her know the seriousness of my decision. She has to respect that fact.

"Maybe I did it for myself, Peeta, did you ever think of that? Maybe you aren't the only one who … who worries about … what it would be like if …" she starts to tell me.

"If what, Katniss?"

I can see that it is hard for her to let me in. She has spent her whole time building the fences inside her. She loved her father so much and probably she just wants to love only the one person who would never leave her, her sister. She thinks that if she can protect Prim, she would have someone who would love her. She has been holding her heart from being broken. With all the walls that she puts up, she doesn't realize that she is creating for herself not a safe haven from abandonment but a prison that she cannot see.

She looks down, and I know that she trying to say the right words. She looks straight into my eyes, passing everything that holds me back and speaks to me. It is like she has forgotten that all of Panem is watching.

"That's exactly the kind of topic Haymitch told me to clear steer of," she says.

"Then I'll just have to fill in the blanks myself," I tell her.

I move closer to her, while she looks at me with those eyes. They give me a soft look, and I cup her face in my hands and feel her lips with mine. This moment is ours. It belongs to no one but us. For the smallest moment, we have forgotten the Hunger Games, we have forgotten Cato, and Thresh. We have forgotten District Twelve, and we have forgotten even ourselves. All of our preconceptions all the walls, at this moment don't exist, they come crumbling down. This is just us, Katniss and me, allowing ourselves to dream. She deserves to be happy, she deserves to be loved, and feel safe.

I want to freeze this time. I want to live in this moment. It is enough to decide that it is enough, that life has given me the greatest gift. I pull away from her, her warm cheeks in my hand, her eyes still closed. I lean in and kiss her on the tip of her nose. She opens her eyes smiles.

"I think your wound is bleeding again. Come on, lie down, it's bedtime anyways," I tell her.

I grab her hand and lead her to the sleeping bag. It feels like I am walking on air. The blood rushes back from my face. She lies down.

"Peeta, aren't you cold?" She asks.

"I am all right, I am not cold." I tell her.

"Please?" she pleads.

Honestly, the kiss has kept me warm, but I accept my jacket and put it on. Her palms are freezing cold, so I warm her shoulders, seeing that she is shivering. The rain lowers the temperature drastically.

"I will take the first watch," she tells me.

"You are in no condition to stay up. Your body is still recovering from your last encounter. The cold especially doesn't help." I tell her.

"Peeta, I am fine, I am rested." She tells me.

"Okay fine, only if you are in the sleeping bag, look your body is shivering. Please?" I ask her.

She doesn't object and she nestles into the sleeping bag. I place my arm under her head so that she is comfortable. The other one I place over her. She looks at me with soft eyes. I could go lost in those eyes, and just enjoy her presence, if only for a day, but I wish for more than just one.

I close my eyes but can still hear her breathing.

The dreams are beautiful and peaceful. We are in a field filled with flowers in bloom. A picnic, we lay down on the blanket staring at the clouds, playing the guess what this cloud looks like, and what that one look like.

Hours would pass and we would just talk about the little things in life that make us happy. She would ask me, and of course I would tell her, that she makes me happy. We would laugh at the jokes and smile at the times when we would say sweet things to each other. Other times we would just look at each other and no words are necessary, we would just enjoy each other's company. She makes me feel complete. That nothing in this world matters, and all the things that are happening are just a memory that we can surely forget.

I feel her shake my shoulders. I open my eyes and find that Katniss's eyes are tired.

"Come, sleep, I will take the next shift." I tell her.

She just nods, and says.

"Tomorrow, when it's dry, I'll find us a place so high in the trees we can both sleep in peace."

I just nod and tell her that is I okay. She closes her eyes and drifts asleep. I brush her hair with my hands, and can feel she nuzzles in my hands. I spend the next hours looking at the rain, and gently caressing her arms. I want her to know that she can feel safe, that she can let someone take care of her, even if it is not me. If anything good comes from this, is that I hope that Katniss would realize that someone can love her, and want to protect her.

I think about the Gamemakers, wondering if this rain is towards Cato or Thresh. It could be that they are trying to just wash us all away with the rain, flood the arena. What else could it be? No one would be able to walk out in this. One of the things that that I learned from the Careers, especially Clove is that everything in the Games happens for a reason and for an end game. What angle is Haymitch playing to the sponsors?

Why hasn't it stop raining? It could be that the rain is just to give them time to think of what is coming next. That brings me a little bit of nervousness. What else could happen to us? I think it is morning, but cannot see the sun rise. Not even the birds come out to sing, they stay in and enjoy the time off from the jobs they have. Wait; is it a job to do something that they were born to do? It is not a job for me to want to protect her; it is what I know that I was born to do.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty Three

The sky is dark with the rain clouds, and I can do is wonder when it is going to stop. The sun light hasn't been able to peek through the clouds. They are all grey and the amount of rain that is falling; I don't know where the Capitol would get so much water. We are out of food, and without food we won't make it past a couple of days. Probably this is the strategy of the Gamemakers to starve us so that the fight will be taken out of us. Without food we lose the focus to fight, we make mistakes, I know I have.

I hear Katniss begin to get up.

"Good morning, how did you sleep?" I ask her.

"I slept well for the first time in a long time," she tells me. "It hasn't stop raining?"

I shake my head no. "I was thinking about going out there to find some food. Probably I can gather some berries from a nearby bush. Who knows I might find that elusive bread bush I have heard so much about."

Katniss giggles however it is much more serious than that.

"Peeta, with the way the rain is coming down, you will only go out there to get yourself sick," she tells me.

"You know we won't last long without food." I tell her.

"Well it is raining too hard right now; you won't be able to see anything three feet ahead of you." She tells me. "If you go and get lost, how will I find you?"

"Well then I will just have to stay here with you then no?" I ask her. "Hmm, go out get lost or be here with you? Which do you think I would pick?

"Oh, be quiet, Peeta and come over here, it is cold and I can tell you are shivering." She tells me. "Not much to do in weather like this. Do you know what time it could be?"

"No clue, I know it is daylight, although the clouds and the rain block out the sun so I don't know exactly if it is already noon, or earlier." I tell her.

"Back home, my father and I would spend these kinds of days just sitting in the bakery listening to the rain." I continue telling her. "Did you ever do that?"

"No, but to pass the time, tell me about your father?" She asks me.

"What to say? His hands always smelled like bread. Did you ever notice that? Every morning he would get up early and before anyone would get up, would go downstairs and bake loaves of bread for you and your friend." I tell her. "He always felt that if we help each other out, in the District that life wouldn't be so bad for all of us. I guess you could say, he is sort of my role model."

"Sounds like a great father, wish I could have gotten to know him," she said.

"Don't worry you will," I tell her.

I yawn, and sigh, tired from the night.

"Rest Peeta, if the rain stops I will tell you," she offers.

"You sure?" I ask her.

"Yes silly, I am well rested and I can watch for a couple of hours. If I get sleepy I will wake you."

The sleeping bag creates the perfect environment. We both take turns taking short naps, to recuperate our strengths. Katniss says that as long as we are asleep we won't be hungry.

I am guessing it is in the afternoon, when she wakes up.

"Still raining?" She asks.

"Yup, still raining." I tell her.

"Peeta," she says sweetly, "You said at the interview you'd had a crush on me forever. When did forever start?"

Funny how she remembers that and would bring it up now, I could tell her everything, but would she feel the same.

"Oh, let's see. I guess the first day of school. We were five. You had on a red plaid dress and your hair… it was in two braids instead of one. My father pointed you out when we were waiting to line up," I tell her.

She looks at me a little confused.

"Your father? Why?" she asked.

"He said, 'See that little girl? I wanted to marry her mother, but she ran off with a coal miner," I tell her.

When I was sick, and he had to go to find a healer, he knew exactly who to go to. He didn't even have to think about me. He told later, that he had gone to see Katniss's mother through the winter storm. It was the first since they were kids. Even though years had gone by, he knew that she would help.

"What? You're making it up!" She tells me surprised.

"No, true story," I tell her. "And I said, 'A coal miner? Why did she want a coal miner if she could've had you? And he said, 'Because when he sings…even the birds stop to listen."

"That's true. They do. I mean, they did," she says.

"So that day, in music assembly, the teacher asked who knew the valley song. Your hand shot right up in the air. She stood you up on a stool and had you sing it for us. And I swear every bird outside the windows fell silent," I tell her.

"Oh please," she tells me.

"No it happened. And right when your song ended, I knew – just like your mother – I was a goner," I tell her.

It wasn't what she looked like. Most of the other guys in school would all say that Katniss was a very beautiful girl. Back then, it wasn't what she looked like, it was something about her. Like everyone knew that she was going to be special. The birds even quieted to hear her sing. When does that happen and you are present to see it? I knew at that moment that I would love her forever.

Everyday at school I would get surprised by her. The way her eyes would be caught in the sunlight, I would sit in the back and in some of the classes that we had she would sit near the window. I could tell that she just loved being outside. I would spend hours in class just trying to get that same look down on paper.

That day I had to stay after school. I guess the drawing I had done, wasn't to the satisfaction of our teacher. It didn't matter, it was worth it. Although I never did get the drawing back, I hope that one day Katniss would get to see when she is back in District Twelve. When I didn't get home on time for supper, my mother grilled me on why I was late. When I told her that it was because I was in detention she didn't appreciate it, and her hand let me know that as well.

Every day I wanted to talk to her. I would plan scenarios in my head on how I would do it. Delly would always call me a chicken for not coming up to Katniss and just striking a conversation. I don't know, people like Delly have that gift of being able to make people comfortable when they talk around strangers. People trust them, and allow them to invade there day. I always wanted to know more about her, but couldn't really ask anyone. Once I wanted to ask Madge if she could tell me more about her, but of course I didn't want Katniss to know that I had been asking about her.

I would make sure to be extra presentable when I knew Katniss would be around. Would spend hours in the mirror making sure that I look just right, it was silly I know, she never noticed. I don't know what it is about her. I always wanted to know why it was that I was just so drawn to her, it was a mystery and it was a welcomed distraction at school and at the bakery.

"For the next eleven years, I tried to work up the nerve to talk to you." I tell her.

"Without success," she tells me.

"Without success. So, in a way, my name being drawn in the reaping was a real piece of luck," I tell her.

All these years, all the miss opportunities, and then coming together in an unlikely place. In this cave, our makeshift home, taking care of each other, allowing ourselves to be ourselves, is something that I have always wanted. This rain, although it has kept us from finding food, has given to us something we never had, it gave us time. Most of times it would be a dream in my head, all the times that we spent separated because of circumstance we have been brought together because of it. And now in these Games, I have had the opportunity to live out my dreams with her. If only but for a short time. It is worth every minute with her. I look deep into those eyes of fire, wanting to remember every detail, just like that day where I wanted to capture that look of sunlight in her eyes.

"You have a…remarkable memory," she says unsure of herself, probably a little thrown back.

"I remember everything about you," I tell her gently caresses her cheek, and moving her hair behind her ear. "You're the one who wasn't paying attention."

"I am now," she says.

There is sweetness in her voice. This isn't the Katniss in front of the cameras. This is the Katniss who sang the valley song. The soft notes that hushed the entire world, if you couldn't see her, you would think it was a song bird singing the beautiful tones.

I once caught her humming by the meadow. She was just walking through, with her head looking at her shoes as she walked. She had a pair of brown soft leather boots. I know this because I wondered what she was looking at. I couldn't make out the song though, but from the humming I could tell it was something beautiful. I always wondered what inspires her. You know people who do great things, or have great abilities are always inspired by someone or something. This time, when she was humming, no one had asked to, like a teacher. She was humming for herself. Of course she didn't notice me there just staring out in the woods. I don't really mind though, I just love seeing her happy.

"Well, I don't have much competition here," I tell her.

She looks at me, slowly smiles and says,

"You don't have much competition anywhere."

With my hands in my pocket, I had to pinch myself to know that I wasn't dreaming. For the first time, in all this time, Katniss has finally noticed me. Sure we have had our moments, but now it is different, she knows that I mean it and I know that she means it.

She leans in and our lips touch ever so lightly. The softest touch and it moves something inside me. It wasn't like before, this kiss. I don't know what it is, but I think the world just moved.

Clunk! I hear outside, and Katniss in a split second jerks around bow in hand, arrow tensed. Is there someone outside about to attack? I walk very slowly out to the front of the cave, and there is where I see it. The silver parachute attached to a basket. I quickly run out to get it, not caring about the rain or the thundering.

I hand the basket to Katniss and when she opens it, the aroma, is enough to cause our knees to buckle. We actually have to sit down because of it. We both look inside to find a feast. Not just broth, or bread, this is a full course. What is cost I wonder? Who cares my body replies, it is then that I realize that I am famish and I know that Katniss must be too.

"I guess Haymitch finally got tired of watching us starve." I tell her.

"I guess so," Katniss responds.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty Four

Katniss told me a story once in the Training Center. It was the second day of training and we were eating lunch.

"There once was a time when I was hunting outside the District," she begins to tell me. "We were hunting and typically we stay within a couple of miles of the fence, as to not be caught outside in the night time."

"Is it more dangerous at night time? I would think that the man eating animals would have to sleep sometimes no?" I ask her.

"Well that is the thing, it isn't so much the animals it is mostly the fact that we cannot see anything." She tells me.

"The fear of the unknown? I know that feeling." I tell her.

"Exactly. Well this one time, we were hunting when we both heard some movement up ahead probably about fifteen yards or so." She tells me. "My friend Gale and I we don't really need to tell each other what to do, we have been hunting for years so, we do what we typically would do. He would go left and I would go right. We would circle the sound until one is behind it, and there other is in front." She tells me.

"How would you know if have given enough distance to be behind it?" I ask her.

"Well it is about sounds. It is the slightest sounds. If you hear it on your left as you approach, you would gently side step keeping your eyes towards the sound until the sound is now on your right." She explains.

"Interesting, didn't know that." I tell her.

"The trick is, to gauge your partner's movements enough to know when you are in position." She continues. "So we surround the possible game and without having many words, we took down a deer."

The look of pride on her face was enough to know that it must have been quite difficult.

It is this memory that I remember as we just look at the basket filled with a feast. I see Katniss's feet begin to shuffle like she is approaching game. I mimic her movement, no words. We are just contemplating starvation and how are we going to devour this meal.

It isn't until I remember the first night on the train that I speak up.

"We better take it slow on the stew. Remember the first night on train? The rich food made me sick and I wasn't even starving then."

"You're right. And I could just inhale the whole thing!" she tells me.

I smile and remind her. "Well with this rain, we might have to ration it."

We take the plates and silverware out from the basket. I motion to her that I would serve her, and she nods. She gets comfortable in the sleeping bag while I serve. It is a nice.

We have a roll, half an apple, a small portion of stew and rice. Every ounce of control is needed from not eating the plates that we place it on or even using my hands to do so. We are still finish as quickly as we received it. Katniss looks up, with her sad eyes, reminds me of those little kids that I would sometimes tutor after school.

"I want more." She says with a frown on her face.

I have to admit, my body craves for more as well.

"Me too. Tell you what. We wait an hour, if it stays down, then we get another serving," I tell her, although neither of us have watches to even know when an hour would pass.

"Agreed," she says, "It's going to be a long hour."

"Maybe not that long," I tell her. "What was that you were saying just before the food arrived? Something about me … no competition … best thing that ever happened to you …" I say with a smile.

"I don't remember that last part," she says with a blush on her face.

Almost got her, I think to myself. For someone who doesn't pay attention, she remembers this part. Darn my luck.

"Oh, that's right. That's what _I_ was thinking," I tell her with a sly smile. "Scoot over, I'm freezing."

We lay comfortably in the sleeping bag. She lays her head on my shoulder and I wrap my arms around her. I can feel her heartbeat; it is as steady as ever. She is warm though, or is it me?

"So, since we were five, you never even noticed any other girls?" She asks me.

The thing is with that, it wasn't that I didn't notice any other girls; it was the reason why I was noticing them. We had within our school, the mix of both the Seam and the Merchant class. The girls from the Merchant class were always wearing ribbons in their hair and dresses with nice shoes. They were much more social and enjoyed doing other activities in school. The girls from the Seam were always dress in clean clothes, hair typically loose and they weren't social but still would respond if you were to speak with them, and hardly participated in other activities. I noticed that the girl from the Merchant class, for instance Delly, and Madge although they were nice, it was something about them that I didn't feel when I was around Katniss. Delly once told me that the dream sometimes is more a dream than the reality. My fear was that it was true. It wasn't until we were in the cave that I realize that the dream of Katniss did not do her justice and she was more than I had dreamt of.

"I noticed just about every girl, but none of them made a lasting impression but you," I tell her shyly.

"I'm sure that would thrill your parents, you liking a girl from the Seam," she says.

The heart has no class, or control of who to love. My mother may have some desire for me to like someone like Delly or Madge, but my father knows it all too well that you should never settle for what your parents want.

"Hardly. But I couldn't care less. Anyway, if we make it back, you won't be girl from the Seam, you'll be a girl from the Victor's Village," I tell her.

The Victor's Village is a location in every District where winners of the Hunger Game stay. The Capitol built about twelve beautiful houses in each District. In our District, only one is occupied at the moment.

Katniss looks at me with a look or realization in her eyes. "But then, our only neighbor will be Haymitch!"

"Ah, that'll be nice," I say with a hint of disbelief. "You and me and Haymitch. Very Cozy. Picnics, birthdays, long winter nights around the fire retelling old Hunger Games' tales."

She looks back to me with her eyes.

"I told you, he hates me!" and starts to laugh.

"Only sometimes. When he's sober, I've never heard him say one negative thing about you," I tell her, almost laughing at the thought.

"He's never sober!" she tells me.

We both laugh a little.

"That's right. Who am I thinking of? Oh, I know. It's Cinna who likes you. But that's mainly because you didn't try to run when he set you on fire," I tell her. "On the other hand, Haymitch…well, if I were you, I'd avoid Haymitch completely. He hates you."

I smile and Katniss continues.

"I thought you said I was his favorite," she tells me.

"He hates me more," I tell her trying to make her feel better. "I don't think people in general are his sort of thing."

We both laugh for a couple of minutes and then Katniss always thinking.

"How do you think he did it?"

"Haymitch. How do you think he won the Games?" she asks.

I am reminded of the first time we were coached separately. I asked him the same question,

I can still remember the answer

"All of my fellow tributes were idiots, and I played to their stupidity. I just observed them, and watched for a weakness."

Leave it to Haymitch to pay attention to the smallest details. He wasn't reactive, he was always thinking, how to change the circumstance to his favor.

"He outsmarted all the others," I tell her.

He was always on the offensive and never on the defensive. The thing is that he let other think that he was less than what he was. It was doing something better than others; it was doing something smarter than others.

I wonder though, if Haymitch was so detailed in the Games, is he that detailed in his role as a mentor. If so probably all the gifts that we have received was because of something. Think like a Gamemaker, was the last thing that he said to me. So when the rain ends, we have to conclude that the Gamemakers have the finale ready and know how to manipulate the situation to their liking, so that the end is what they want.

"I think the hour is over," Katniss tells me.

"I think you are right, as I look at my imaginary watch on my arm." I tell her. Although I don't want to get up from her, and I like where my arms are.

She gives my hand a warm squeeze and gets up.

"It is my turn to serve. You just relax there." She tells me.

I get up to stretch and that is when I hear the anthem start. Is it night already? I walk towards the entrance and see that the seal in the night sky.

That is when I see it. District Eleven. I see Thresh's picture in the sky. I wipe my eyes probably I am just imagining it.

"There won't be anything to see tonight. Nothing's happened or we would've heard a cannon." She tells me.

I look back at her and see that she is serving. "Katniss," I try to get her attention.

"What? Should we split another roll, too?" She asks.

"Katniss," I say anything a little bit louder trying to get her attention.

"I'm going to split one. But I'll save the cheese for tomorrow," She says, looking up. "What?"

"Thresh is dead," I tell her.

"He can't be," she tells me putting down the plate.

"They must have fired the cannon during the thunder and we missed it," I tell her.

"Are you sure? I mean, it's pouring buckets out there. I don't know how you can see anything." She says as she moves me away from the cave entrance.

She turns back with tears in her eyes. Although she didn't know Thresh, she felt that we would be great friends. I am grateful to him, for letting Katniss go, he saw something in her that compelled him to do not what the Gamemakers wanted but what was right. He was repaying a debt, and for that we will honor him.

"Are you ok?" I ask her.

She looks at me, with those eyes filled with sorrow. I know that inside she is mourning her friend but outside she cannot show emotion. She had trained herself to retreat when someone she knows dies. She shrugs.

"It's just… if we didn't win… I wanted Thresh to. Because he let me go. And because of Rue."

"Yeah I know," I tell her.

She turns around and faces the entrance. I walk to her and gently place my arms around her. I caress her arms, letting her know that it would be ok. That his sacrifice will not be forgotten, for letting Katniss go was a sacrifice. If he would have killed her, I would have never gotten the medicine and would have surely died here in the cave.

What Thresh did, I will not forget. He has done something that I could never repay; he gave me the gift of time with her.

I let her go for a moment, go and grab her plate that she had finish serving.

"But remember, this means we're one step closer to District Twelve." I tell her. "Eat. It's still warm."

I grab my plate and we sit down to eat. Somehow the food doesn't taste as good as it did an hour ago. The air also has changed; it is one of a fallen. It is the same feeling as to those who have died back in the mines. I guess Thresh although he didn't realize it, died protecting us. He gave us a chance. We all know that Thresh had his desire to win and for that he would have to kill us to get there. There was nothing to doubt about that. I think though that he knew that killing a wounded animal was not a victory, how can you win like that? I am sure that Cato wouldn't care one way or another, but killing a wounded, there is no honor in that.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty Five

What do you do when you feel homesick? I know that it isn't a feeling I would have if I had already said goodbye to it. For a couple of seconds in between eating the stew and the bread, I take a moment to look at the bread. I didn't notice this before, but the bread is from our District. It is enough to wish to be home. This bread came from my father's bakery.

It is what we did last year during this time frame. We would bake bread for the Capitol for the Hunger Games. We would always add a little bit of cinnamon in the bread to get it that little twist. The taste is something that we done so that we would hope that the Tributes from our District would have a little bit of home. The cinnamon also when cooked would give it a glow orange color, like how coal does when it is burned.

It was our way of making it to symbolize everything that was good from our bakery. I look at bread for a while. I feel it in my hands. I can still remember the day we made this. If my father was watching right now, he would know that I was thinking of him, and home. The bakery feels like such a far away dream. When the door opens and the bells rings, I can still remember it, I can still hear it.

The lightning and thundering, snaps me back to reality.

I look down; I don't want Katniss to know that I am missing home

I feel her hand on mines. "Peeta, something wrong?" she asks.

"You see this?" I show her the bread.

"This was made in our bakery." I tell her with a smile to try and mask the longing for home.

"Really? How could you tell?" She asks.

"Can you taste a little bit of cinnamon in the bread? It is a hint, not many people can taste it." I ask her.

"I thought there was something different about this bread. Thought it was something that I imagining it." She tells me.

"Well we would do that so that people would know that it came from our bakery. It gives it this orange color." I saw as my voice cracks.

She caresses my hand with his fingers. It is the same thing I did for her at the reaping.

"Katniss."

"Hmm?" She looks up.

I want to tell her that I want to go home too. That I miss my family, I miss my room, and I miss the fence, the tree that I would just sit back on in the meadow. It is the first time in all this time that I have let myself go there. Even when my name was called in the Reaping, I had already said my goodbyes to the District and to everyone in it. I pushed out the memories of them, and didn't let them back in, until today. It is something that I had locked long time ago. It isn't fair. To let myself go there, I can't be thinking of home.

I change my thoughts and I see that it is a dream and have to think about the here and now. My mother in my thoughts, I guess.

"Well we have to talk about what our strategy is going to be?" I ask.

"Strategy? Well we really can't do anything Peeta. Not in this weather anyways. We would have to wait until the rain stop if ever."

"Okay, well if Thresh is gone, it means that either the Gamemakers or Cato killed him." I tell her.

"It also means Cato will be back hunting us." She tells me.

"And he's got supplies again," I tell her.

With the fact that Katniss blew up the supplies, I am pretty sure that Cato was hunting Thresh to get his bag and Thresh's supplies. That would be his first priority, to see what the Gamemakers think he would need the most.

I wonder though, if I needed medicine, what would Cato need? He still had his weapons that he had on him. The only thing I can think of is food, or a way to get food. He has a shelter, the Cornucopia, and a water source. He has a way to defend himself, so the only thing he needs is food.

"He'll be wounded, I bet," She says.

"What makes you say that?" I ask.

"Because Thresh would have never gone down without a fight. He's so strong, I mean, he was. And they were in his territory," she says.

"Good," I say, "The more wounded Cato is the better. I wonder how Foxface is making out."

"Oh, she is fine," she says. "Probably be easier to catch Cato than her."

"Maybe they'll catch each other and we can just go home," I tell her, hopeful. "But we better be extra careful about the watches. I dozed off a few times."

"Me too," she admits. "But not tonight."

We finish eating our meals. Before I tell Katniss that I would take the first watch. Have lots to think about, and to come to terms with.

"Okay, but as soon as you get sleepy you wake me up ok," she tells me.

She immediately falls asleep, guessing the rich food causes one body to shut down quicker. The thundering in the distance gives me cause for concern. We are after all near a water source and close to trees. I wonder if the Gamemakers can control the weather, can they control where the lighting would strike. With one of the main competitors, Thresh, out of the Games what could their plan be? Foxface is much too smart to fall for some game or some 'natural' disaster. So what then? If the rule change is to gives us an advantage or a curse with Cato then would the Gamemakers turn their attention to us, to separate us?

I can still feel the warm bread in my hands. I wonder if he is still thinking of me. I think of him almost every day in the arena. Making sure to do everything I can to make him proud of me. Sometimes I can feel him watching me, and I know those are the moments that I feel most grounded. This all seems too far off, and I feel like I don't belong. How did I survive so long? What kept me going when I knew that I was going to die?

I turn and there in the dim light of the lightning I can see her. Without the moonlight in the night sky, only the flashes of lightning allow me the glimpses of her. Is she the reason that I fought to stay alive? Even now, is she the reason why I wanted to go home? That hope has crept into my heart like a thief? If we were to somehow survive together, would we be together, or is this all just due to the Games that we are allowed to be free to express ourselves?

It may have been the reason why I fought to stay alive, but it may also be the reason why I fight now to keep her alive. I am content to have these Games to have gotten to know her, to love her freely and without circumstances dictating how we should be.

My stomach begins to growl, and I fight it by drinking a little bit of water. It helps fight the urge to eat. Before I was able to go days without eating and it never bothered me. Almost dying, I guess the body has better things to do that to ask for food. I think its greater need is to keep the heart going. The body only needs the heart to keep going. I think about that for a little bit. Your thoughts are secondary to your emotions, well if you want to think of the heart as the emotional center and not just a muscle that pumps your body and keeps you alive. Although now, that I am thinking about it, the desire to eat has grown to an overwhelming want that has overtaken my mind.

A couple of hours have gone by, and I feel that my eyes are starting to close. I come near Katniss, and move the couple of strands of hair away from her face caress her cheek and can see her eyes begin to open.

I hold out the half of roll and crème cheese.

"Don't be mad," I tell her. "I had to eat again. Here's your half."

"Oh, good," she says and take a huge bite. I can tell she is enjoying this, and I hadn't made the suggestion to ration it, we would have probably eaten it all yesterday and then be throwing it up right now.

"We make a goat cheese and apple tart at the bakery," I tell her.

"Bet that's expensive," she tells me.

"Too expensive for my family to eat. Unless it's gone very stale. Of course, practically everything we eat is stale," I tell her.

She looks at me with a curious face. Most of the people from the Seam think the Merchant people actually live the "good life." They think of us like we think of the people from the Capitol. We hardly ever get to eat what we make, especially fresh. We typically always eat the things that no one wants or buys.

I close my eyes and think of home. Probably the only place where I can see it and it is ok. I dream about the day we made the bread that made it all the way to the Hunger Games and our gift from our mentor.

My father would always save fresh bread for us to eat once in a while. He says that we have to be able to try the things that we make to see if they are any good. We don't mind of course being product tasters, we get to eat the good stuff, until we try something that hasn't been done yet, and those are the times we wish weren't product tasters.

It took us several tries to get our signature cinnamon bread down to a science. The first time was too much and it almost choked me to death. That whole day, my mother told me we wasted trying to do something that made no sense.

"We want to make something that we can stand on," my father told her.

"Stand on? You are a baker, not a chef." She tells him.

"Well we Mellarks are going to have a legacy, and if it is this bread, then we will just try until we get it right." He says, grabbing a handful of cinnamon in his hand.

He tosses it to her, and she just looks with a look of shock. He just laughs and she huffs and walks upstairs.

"Well Peeta, let's get back to work," He tells me.

"What combinations do we have left?" I ask him.

"Well we could try this one, and it may work." He tells me.

We worked for hours, until we finally had a working prototype to try. We must have given free samples to everyone who walked into the bakery that day. Most of the time they didn't even noticed. Until one little old lady came in. She is a cook down at the Hobb, Sae I think her name is.

She walked in and told us that the bread had something different to it. A hint of something sweet, like a twist to a story that has already been told she said. She is an older lady and most people in District Twelve trusts her food choices. My father just smiled at me and gave me the thumbs up.

We were both proud that day and not even my mother could bring us down. We sold more bread that day than what we have done in a while.

Little by little, people starting to catch on, and they enjoyed it. So we stop making the regular bread and continue making this one. It has done well. It became a symbol of what District Twelve was. Well that is what the Mayor said. We started to make that bread for the harvest and for the Hunger Games.

'A twist to a story that has already been told', I repeat the sayings of an old woman and think this will be the same. A legacy for the Mellarks, a twist to a story that has already been told, this will be a twist, something that people have never seen, the opposite of what I should do. Something that we can be proud of, that my father can be proud of.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty Six

I open my eyes and see Katniss there sitting next to me, looking out into the now clear sky. Her eyes fixed on the outside. Wonder what she is thinking? She seemed so lost in her thoughts but ready to shoot. Her hands in the ready position on the bow, everyone she trusts is in this cave, so any movement and she won't hesitate. Not like I would. If Thresh was still alive and made it to the cave, she would probably not right away shoot, but wait until he makes his move. With Foxface, Katniss told me earlier that she doesn't trust something about her actions.

The dawn of a new day, after so much rain everything feels like it is made brand new. The air feels crisper and hope always springs when you see everything new. I close my eyes and pretend that I am sleeping. I feel the shuffling of her feet and immediately feel the nearness of her. Her warm hand touches my shoulder and she gently shakes me awake.

My eyes slowly open and I can see her right in front of me. Her eyes just trained on me. I lift my hands to her chin and guide her lips to mine. She closes her eyes and welcomes my lips. After about a minute or so we part and I am reminded of the sunrise, and can remember the fire of our capes in the opening games. I imagine that is what my father spoke about when he described the sunrise to me. The rays are the passion of the kiss from the earth and sun.

She smiles at me, and says, "we're wasting hunting time."

"I wouldn't call it wasting," I say sitting up. "So do we hunt on empty stomachs to give us an edge?"

"Not us," she says, "we stuff ourselves to give us staying power."

"Count me in," I tell her. To tell you the truth, I am famished. It feels like that year we had a flour shortage and even stale bread was rare in my family's table.

I can see that Katniss is also hungry when she divides the rest of the stew and rice. We could have easily made two more meals of this.

"All this?" I ask.

"We'll earn it back today," she says.

Even cold, it still tastes great. Don't know if it is the fact that my stomach can eat just about anything as long as it is food, or is it that it actually tastes good no matter if it is hot or cold.

We are done before we can even savor it. Katniss drops her fork and begins to scrape up the gravy with her finger.

"I can feel Effie Trinket shudder at my manners," she says.

"Hey, Effie, watch this!" I say out loud to the cameras that we cannot see. I toss my fork and lick the plate clean. I blow a kiss and say, "We miss you, Effie!"

Katniss covers my mouth, but I can see she is laughing. "Stop! Cato could be right outside our cave."

I grab her hand and move it away, work my other hand around her waist. "What do I care? I've got you to protect me now," I tell her, dipping her. She is still laughing.

"Come on," she says and begins to lean up, when I lean down. Our lips meet in the middle for a short time. I can say without hesitation, that I am truly happy. No matter the outcome, she has made me happy.

She tosses me the bag and tells me that we have to pack. It only takes us a couple of minutes to get everything in the packs. We were always packing at the end of the day, just to make sure that if we needed to make a quick dash, we could and we would have our supplies with us.

We are outside and can see that Katniss is quickly surveying the woods for any movement. She slowly hands me a knife without making a sound or even looking back. I grab the knife and place it in my belt.

I whisper in her ear. "He'll be hunting us by now, Cato isn't one to wait for his prey to wander by."

"If he's wounded -" she begins to tell me.

"It won't matter, if he can move, he's coming." I tell her knowing full well the seriousness of the Games.

We filled up the bottles with water. Katniss walks to the snares she had set and with the weather there was nothing there. No one, not even animals would be walking out in the rain.

"If we want food, we better head back up to my old hunting grounds," she tells me still looking forward. It is amazing to see how Katniss transforms to this hunting machine. You could tell she is listening for clues and moving slowly as to not attract sound on her feet. It seems like she isn't touching the ground.

"Your call. Just tell me what you need me to do," I tell her. This is her domain; this is what she does best. If we were back in a kitchen, I could tell her what to do.

"Keep an eye out, stay on the rocks as much as possible, no sense in leaving him tracks to follow. And listen for both of us." She says, pointing to her left ear. From the explosion I guess her hearing never came back. In the cave the sound would just bounce off the walls so she could always hear with her right ear. I make it a point to always be on her left just to make sure that if I hear anything to let her know.

We walk upstream, and finally make it from the stream to the forest. Katniss stops a couple of times to check something. Then finally looks down and then back at me.

"What?" I ask.

"You've got to move more quietly," she says. "Forget about Cato, you're chasing every rabbit in a ten-mile radius."

"Really? Sorry, I didn't know." I tell her.

We start to walk again. I look at her feet and try to mimic the softness of her steps, but it is hard to keep it on the ball of my feet as my leg is still too weak. I can tell that I am not doing a good enough job as I can see Katniss's head move every couple of seconds hearing my heavy boots.

"Can you take your boots off?" She asks.

"Here?" I ask.

"Yes," she says stopping and begins to take her shoes off too. "I will, too. That way we'll both be quieter."

We remove our socks and place them in the packs along with our boots. We move slowly and can see that we are getting nothing. After a couple of hours Katniss has caught nothing and I am pretty sure that I am the reason why.

"Katniss," I tell her. "We need to split up. I know I'm chasing away the game."

"Only because your leg's hurt," she says.

I think it is sweet that Katniss is trying to not hurt my feelings.

"I know," I tell her. "So, why don't you go on? Show me some plants to gather and that way we'll both be useful."

"Not if Cato comes and kills you," she says, turning around and looking at me with worry.

I chuckle a little. "Look, I can handle Cato. I fought him before, didn't I?"

"What if you climbed up in a tree and acted as a lookout while I hunted?" She suggests.

Not that I don't trust Katniss, but she may forget that I am in a tree up high and shoot me with an arrow, by mistake.

"What if you show me what's edible around here and go get us some meat?" I tell her. "Just don't go far, in case you need help."

"Okay," she goes into the bag and shows me the roots to get. "These are the roots you need to look for. She shows the leaves of the plant. You would have to dig out the plant, and cut off the roots. I saw a couple of them back the way we came from probably about 10 yards or so."

"Ok, and how much should I get." I ask her.

"Well get enough for a couple meals. To keep in communication we will use the Mockingjays." She tells me. She whistles a two tone note, and suddenly the Mockingjays begin to mimic the melody.

"A couple of days ago, back when I was in the stream hiding, I heard the Mockingjays repeating a four note melody. Was that you?" I ask her.

"Yes, that is the way Rue and me communicated, well until she -" she says stopping, the grief is still there.

"Okay, go and get us a deer to eat." I say smiling.

I place the pack on the ground, and move out in search of the plants. Every couple of minutes I would hear the two note melody and respond back the two note melody. I found about three plants and have gotten a good pile of roots. Found a couple of black berries and thought, well if I grab a couple of these we can have a good feast. I pick a couple handfuls and place them on the sheet of plastic. A couple of minutes pass and I don't hear the melody. I walk back to hear Katniss screaming out my name. I run through the woods back to where I place my back. Just as I go through a brush I feel the wind zip by me as an arrow lodges in the trunk of the tree right next to me.

I freeze and berries that I had collected in my hands go flying.

"What are you doing? You're supposed to be here, not running around in the woods!" She yells at me.

"I found some berries down by the stream," I tell her.

"I whistled. Why didn't you whistle back?" She says obviously not happy with my response.

"I didn't hear. The water's too loud, I guess," I tell her. I place my hands on her shoulders and find that she is shivering.

"I thought Cato killed you!" She raises her voice as she pushes me away.

She was really worried. Can it be that she actually cares about me, the way I do?

"No, I'm fine." I tell her embracing her and can feel her heart is racing. I try to calm her down by repeating it over and over that I was fine. I can feel that she is crying. I kiss her on the top of her head.

She pushes me away, still angry. "If two people agree on a signal, they stay in range. Because if one of them doesn't answer, they're in trouble, all right?"

"All right!" I tell her.

"All right. Because that's what happened with Rue, and I watched her die!" she says, turning away from me and going to the pack. She turns back and looks straight at me.

"And you ate without me!?" she says.

"What? No, I didn't" I tell her.

"Oh, and I suppose the apples ate the cheese," she says with a sarcastic tone.

"I don't know what ate the cheese," I say slowly, "but it wasn't me. I've been down by the stream collecting berries. Would you care for some?"

She walks over to me. I can tell she is still angry at me. I offer a token of peace with my hands out with a couple of berries. She looks at them, curiously, almost like they are not the same as the once that she gave me last time.

Just then, I hear the cannon fires, and I quickly look at Katniss. Her eyes meet mines and then we both see it. The hovercraft comes probably a couple of yards away and lifts a body up. I can't really tell who it is, but Katniss comes and whispers. "Foxface."

It is Cato! I am sure of it. He has tracks us down. We have to quickly get up a tree. I grab Katniss by the arm and tell her.

"Climb. He'll be here in a second. We'll stand a better chance fighting him from above."

She places her hand on my chest. "No, Peeta, she's your kill, not Cato's"

"What? I haven't even seen her since the first day," I tell her. "How could I have killed her?"

She holds out the berries.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty Seven

I stand there, just hollow on the inside. The whole thing replays in my mind. _No, Peeta, she's your kill._ My kill? I am responsible for taking someone's life. Even if it was not on purpose, my actions caused the death of someone. How do you just shut off the grief that comes from it? I can just see the Careers and how easily they just kill. I don't think I could ever get use to it.

"My kill?" I say again to Katniss. "Does it ever come off?"

"Does what come off?" She asks.

"The blood from my hands, does it ever come off? I know that sooner or later I would be place in a situation where I would have to kill, but how do you prepare yourself for it?"

I look down to my hands. Foxface had to have dreams, and may have even had someone she loved. How can I come to terms about ending someone's life? Her parents would never get to see their daughter because of me.

"I wouldn't know, the boy from District One, was my first kill." She says solemnly.

"Does the feeling ever go away?" I ask looking at my hands. "How do they do it? I mean I have seen the Careers kill for fun, and I mean how could someone just turn it off and not care?"

"I don't know, Peeta." She says, grabbing my hand.

"I hate them for making me do this." I say looking down.

"How could you have known that she would eat the berries?" she asks.

She is always looking out for me. Trying to make me feel better, by making an excuse for what I have done. I sit down, and have to try to get my bearings again.

I look down to the hands. She kneels down in front of me, grabs both of my hands. She moves her thumbs over my palm. I look up, at her, not knowing what to say. She just gives me a soft look with her eyes.

"It is not your fault, you didn't know." She says.

"I wonder how she found us," I tell her. "My fault, I guess, if I'm as loud as you say."

"And she's very clever, Peeta. Well, she was. Until you outfoxed her."

Nothing that just happened was on purpose. It was just by accident, but still someone has died, and we are alive only by luck.

"Not on purpose. Doesn't seem fair somehow. I mean, we would have been dead too, if she hadn't eaten the berries first," I tell her looking at her.

She is still holding my hand when I realized. The years in the forest, I am pretty sure that she would know what was poisonous and which wasn't. Even in the Training Center, they told us that if we have the smallest doubt that we shouldn't eat it.

"No, of course, we wouldn't. You recognized them, didn't you?" I ask.

She nods. "We call them nightlock."

"Even the name sounds deadly," I tell her. "I'm sorry Katniss. I really thought they were the same ones you'd gathered."

She looks at me. "Don't apologize. It just means we're one step closer to home right?"

Home. It is the first time that getting to go home, just doesn't seem right. I know that we didn't choose this, we didn't choose to come here to kill anyone. It could have been said that we were forced. That it was either kill or be killed, but there is a moment before we lose ourselves that we still have the choice. Thresh showed me that. He had the choice, he could have easily killed because she would have killed him, but then he didn't. He had that choice.

I didn't kill her on purpose but I did kill her. If she were going to kill Katniss, would I have hesitated to kill her to protect Katniss? I don't think that that I would even blink. There would be a hesitation if it was me going to be killed by her. It is the only way; there is no other way to go. The only choice I have.

"I'll get rid of the rest," I tell her.

I may have not had a knife to her throat but these berries were my weapon. I walk with the berries on the plastic about to toss them when I hear.

"Wait!" she cries out. She grabs a couple of them and puts them in a pouch. "If they fooled Foxface, maybe they can fool Cato as well. If he's chasing us or something, we can act like we accidentally drop the pouch and if he eats them -"

"Then hello District Twelve," I tell her.

"That's it," she says placing the pouch on her belt.

"He'll know where we are now," I tell her. "If he was anywhere nearby and saw that hovercraft, he'll know we killed her and come after us."

"Let's make a fire. Right now." She says.

I can see that Katniss has a plan. We would be inviting him into a place. Would he bite to the bait?

"Are you ready to face him?" I ask her.

"I'm ready to eat. Better to cook our food while we have the chance. If he knows we're here, he knows. But he also knows there's two of us and probably assumes we were hunting Foxface. That means you're recovered. And the fire means we're not hiding, we're inviting him here. Would you show up?" she asks.

"Maybe not," I say.

I think about something. How would Cato know that I was with Katniss? For all he knows, I am still off somewhere dying. We are assuming that Cato is somewhat smart. He didn't seem to be the one that would think of scenarios. If anything Cato thinks it is just Katniss who just killed Foxface.

We start a fire and yet all I can think is that Katniss doesn't know Cato like I do. He won't come, because he knows that she would be waiting for him. He doesn't know that I am here, but he knows that Katniss has a bow, Clove would have told him after Marvel got killed.

We need to get to a place that we can defend.

"If we can get up the trees we would be safe," Katniss tells me.

Up in the trees? "I can't climb like you, Katniss, especially with my leg, and I don't think I could ever fall asleep fifty feet above the ground."

"It's not safe to stay in the open," she tells me.

That is the truth. We can't stay out in the open, but we can defend the cave. One way in and one way out, the cave was the perfect location.

"Can't we go back to the cave? It is near water and easy to defend." I tell her, trying to convince her.

She leans in and kisses me. "Sure. Let's go back to the cave."

Wasn't as hard as I thought, to convince her. Probably she sees the plan and how easy it is to wait. Cato would have to make the move. He is impatient. He will do something to tip his hand and then that is when we will strike.

We can hide out for a couple more days. He would have to come to us. We walk for hours. Through the same path that we took, this time though we Katniss has me walking in front and her in rear. We reach the stream and it almost in the afternoon. From the pace that we are going, it seems that we are going slower than usual.

The water level has dropped to its original depth and I can see that our tracks have been washed away. It is exhausting, though walking through the trek. It takes more energy out of us to be quiet than it is to walk. We finally make it to our cave. We are finally in a place where I can help defend. We fill our water bottles and prepare the cave again.

Katniss looks exhausted and yet she begins to prepare our dinner. I just sit there and when I realized that I had fallen asleep I see that Katniss tells me to prepare the sleeping bag.

"Peeta, sleep for a little, you are probably tired from all the hiking we did, and not to mention the sun. I will wake you in a little bit." She tells me.

I nod, and slowly let my body collapse.

There are no dreams; probably my mind was too tired to think of any. Although I can remember seeing Katniss kiss me on my forehead. Was that a dream I think?

The sunlight bothers my eyes a little when I start to open them. I can see that the day is starting, and I have slept the whole night. I was so tired that not even the anthem woke me up.

I see Katniss, hands on her chin resting on her elbows. She seems like in a daze when I finally wake up.

"I slept the whole night. That's not fair, Katniss, you have woken me." I tell her.

She turns doesn't say a word, goes into the sleeping bag and says "I'll sleep now. Wake me if anything interesting happens."

The whole day passes. I spend the couple of hours just staring outside. Mostly however I just watch her sleep. I haven't heard any nightmares like I did that day in the train or in the Training Center. Sometimes our body has control over our minds. It is like it has a mind of its own, and will shut things down in order to preserve itself.

It happened when we were starving ourselves trying to make up for the flour shortage. It has been a couple of months before we knew we would be in trouble. The winter was fast approaching and without our usual reserves we wouldn't have enough to make it through the winter.

It started snowing one day and I could see the worry in my father's eyes. Typically the snow is a happy time for us. We would run out and make snow men and play in the snow. My brothers and I would wrestle and since the snow wasn't too hard it would cushion our falls. It was our own safety net.

This time around though, without food, we hardly had enough energy to do anything. I started to think that I could understand the girl from the Seam. I can remember the look of desperation in her eyes. It was the same look, staring at the mirror. What could we do?

"What do you suggest?" my mother says.

"Maybe it is time to start to sell some of the things we don't need down at the Hobb." He says.

"The black market? Well if you act like a criminal might as well go and be with the criminals then." She says slamming the door.

My father had walked in the snow with a pouch in his pocket. I come to find a little bit later that it was my grandfather's old silver watch. He had sold it to someone and with the money he bought some food from the little old lady Sae.

She had remembered my father from the bakery, and had given a little bit more to him for the amount of money he had given her.

"We here in the District help each other when the times are rough. Don't think I have forgotten that bread you gave everyone." She said with a smile, my father told me.

"You see son, you do good in the world and sooner or later someone will do good on your behalf." He told me.

"What if it doesn't happen and we die of starvation." I ask him.

"Well then you can die knowing that you help another person in this life and that is something no one can take. We come into this world with nothing, and we leave with nothing. No need to hold onto things that have no value," he says.

It is later in the afternoon when I see that Katniss is starting to wake up.

"Any sign of our friend?" she asks.

"No, he's keeping a disturbingly low profile." I tell her.

"How long do you think we'll have before the Gamemakers drive us together," she asks.

That is a good question. It had totally slipped my mind. The Gamemakers have the ability to manipulate the circumstances and if it gets too boring make it exciting.

"Well, Foxface died almost a day ago, so there's been plenty of time for the audience to place bets and get bored. I guess it could happen at any moment." I tell her.

"Yeah, I have a feeling today's the day," she says. "I wonder how they'll do it."

No clue. It could be anything.

"Well, until they do, no sense in wasting a hunting day. But we should probably eat as much as we can hold just in case we run into trouble," she says.

We eat a very good meal of all the animals that Katniss had killed yesterday.

After we are done, we go out of the cave to wash up. It is oddly quieter than usual. I can't quite put my finger on it when I hear Katniss.

"Not even a little damp. They must have drained it while we slept," she says.

The stream is gone. The water sounds that drown out the forest were not gone and all we had was the quiet afternoon.

"The lake," I say. "That's where they want us to go."

"Maybe the ponds still have some," she says.

Knowing full well how the Gamemakers work, don't think that we would find any water there, but might as well check.

"We can check," I say.

We confirm that the ponds are bone dry and the only place where we can get water would be the lake at the Cornucopia.

"You're right. They're driving us to the lake," she tells me. "Do you want to go straightaway or wait until the water's tapped out?"

If it is a fight they are looking for, better to go when we have our energy and can defend ourselves.

"Let's go now, while we've had food and rest. Let's just go end this thing," I tell her.

I grab her hand and pull her in for an embrace. It is my way of getting one last memory of this before the end. We all know that we have the advantage but if the Gamemakers are involved, nothing will be that easy. She smells like pinecones, and fire. Her skin is warm to the touch.

"Two against one. Should be a piece of cake," I say.

"Next time we eat, it will be in the Capitol," she tells me.

"You bet it will," I tell her.

We break from our embrace and without a word, walk back to the lake. After about a couple of minutes we stop and take a rest. It seems familiar this place where we stop. That is when I see the nest. With the rain and sun it has become a dried ashy mound. Katniss touches it with her boots and it dissolves to the ground.

"Let's move on," she tells me, affected by the memories of this place. I rather forget it as well. We make it to the Cornucopia with the sun setting on the lake. There is no sign of Cato; however we are very aware that he could be hiding waiting for the right time.

Like an automatic machine, Katniss flips the switch and is in hunter mode. Her feet move silently towards the Cornucopia. She had told me at the feast, Foxface had been hiding inside the Cornucopia, so we make sure that Cato is not trying the same thing. We circle around the golden horn only to find it is empty.

We walk towards the lake and fill our containers. The sun is hiding behind the horizon, when Katniss looks up and says,

"We don't want to fight him after dark. There's only the one pair of glasses."

It would be a good plan if I was Cato. It is something that I would do if we knew where Cato was. Have Katniss up in a tree with the glasses poised to fire her arrow towards Cato, while I make noise in the woods to distract him.

"Maybe that's what he's waiting for. What do you want to do? Go back to the cave?" I ask her.

"Either that or find a tree. But let's give him another half an hour or so. Then we'll take cover," she tells me.

We just sit by the lake. You can see the whole field from here, and it is best position to defend. No one can come up from the lake, we checked.

I see Katniss approach a tree probably about a couple of feet from the lake. You can hear her whistling the same four note tune to what I think are Mockingjays. The birds stop singing and hear her notes.

If I wasn't here to experience, it would have been unbelievable. Like if on cue, the first Mockingjay, starts to repeat the notes, and midway another one joins in and then another one. Before long it is as a masterpiece is being sung.

"Just like your father," I tell her.

She smiles and says, "That's Rue's song, I think they remember it."

The song has this feeling of a wave. It could be the number of Mockingjays just singing the four note tune around us, moving and singing that it feels like the song is alive. It is quite beautiful.

All of the sudden the song begins to fall apart, until one Mockingjay shriek. I pull out my knife, and I see that Katniss lifts her bow. There in the distance we see him. It is Cato.

He is running full speed towards us, and yet he has no weapon in his hands. No spear, no sword, nothing, just him running. Has he forgotten that Katniss has a bow? It makes no sense.

The first arrow flies, hits him in the chest, and falls down.

It wasn't food that Cato needed, it was protection. Not just any protection, but protection from the arrows. The Gamemakers have made so that we have to re-think our strategy. It is not going to be ended that easy, no more an arrow from far away. We are going to have to kill him some other way.

"He's got some kind of body armor!" She looks back at me.

He is not slowing down. He is coming straight for her. It is now or never. I push her out of the way and see that Cato runs right by us. I look back confused and see that he is still running, towards the Cornucopia. That is when I see her, flash by the corner of my eyes.

I look back to see the creature leaping onto the field.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty Eight

I am on my feet, and digging into the earth, before I can feel the breath of the wolf-dog looking creature. They run on their two back legs and I can tell that it isn't just one; it is many of these muttations.

Katniss is probably a couple of feet ahead of me running as hard as she can. Run, girl on fire, run. Although my leg hasn't fully recovered, I push myself through the pain. I see that Cato is already climbing the Cornucopia and Katniss is probably a couple of seconds behind him. One of the smallest mutts is next to me making an attempt for Katniss, when I lower my shoulder and nudge it to the ground; it falls tripping a couple other mutts that are running behind. I almost lose my balance in the process but luckily I am able to continue running.

She turns around, and aims her bow. The arrow flies and hit a mutt that was closet to me.

"Go, Katniss, Go!" I yell to her.

She is on top of the horn, and I know that I can at least not worry about that. I am almost to the horn, when a mutt takes a hard swipe at me. I move out of the just in time, but its nails scratch my arm. I cry out in pain, and hear Katniss.

"Climb!" she yells.

I am at the horn, climbing when I see Katniss shoot another one with her arrow. I finally reach her feet when I see Katniss hand, and grab it. I am finally on the top of Cornucopia on my hands and knees, trying to desperately to catch my breath.

"Can they climb it?" Cato asks.

"What?" Katniss asks him.

"He said, 'can they climb it?'" I tell her.

I hear Katniss scream out, and fire an arrow at mutt trying to climb the horn.

"Katniss?" I grab her arm.

"It's her!" she yells back.

"Who?" I ask.

It seems like Katniss has seen a ghost. She is locked in, mumbling something. I shake her shoulders. "What is it, Katniss?"

"It's them. It's all of them. The others. Rue and Foxface and…all of the other tributes." She barely yells out. Arrow poised to fire, but something inside her is stopping her hand from letting go.

That is what I see it, the collars. They all have numbers on them. One by one, I look at them. They can't even let us die in peace, but we are subjected to this, this nightmare?

"What did they do to them? You don't think…those could be their real eyes?" I ask her in horror.

I jerk my head to the left and see the mutt in the air coming straight for me. I quickly try to get up but my foot slips and before I can move out of the way, I feel the claws in my calf. The pain is just as bad, no I think it is worst that the cut to my leg. I cry out in pain, as the mutt begins to pull me down. I feel like I am going over, when I feel Katniss's hand tighten over my arm. The pull from her and the jerk from the mutt rips open a two foot gash.

Katniss hold tightly my arm and with my free hand I slice off the hand of the mutt. The mutt lets go, and Katniss pulls me up. I can feel the warm blood coming out of my calf; I place my hand on the cut trying to lessen the flow. My eyes work down to the injury and can see that I am losing blood fast.

The yelp of another mutt getting an arrow rings in my ears. I look up to Katniss, and am jerked back into the air. Cato has me in an all too familiar headlock cutting off my air supply. My legs dangle trying to find the ground. If I can find the ground I can push myself back and take him out. No luck. I try to grab anything I can with my hands before I pass out, but it is no use. The amount of blood that I am losing I will not last another five minutes. I grab at his arm and it slick feeling lets me know that the body armor even goes to the arm.

I hear him laughing, "shoot me and he goes down with me."

Do it I try to say, but the grip is too tight that all I hear is a gurgle. Probably if I can break his fingers, then I can loosen the grip. I try to grab it and find that the skin is exposed on his hand. If I can let her know to aim for the hand, she can shoot it and he will release my throat.

I can still remember the story Katniss told me about people becoming so close that they would know each other's thoughts without speaking. She locks in on my eyes. I can see her mind trying to process what to do.

"_I can't shoot, I don't have a shot. I could lose you."_

My eyes point down and my hand goes to Cato's hand. With my last bit of strength I make an "x" on his hand. I close my eyes.

"_Now!"_

When I open, I see her hand has let go of the arrow. It is as time slows down, and I can see the arrow making its way through the air, and finding its mark in Cato's hand.

He loosens his grip just enough for my feet to touch the ground, and I push back slamming Cato on the edge of the horn. He lets go completely and the momentum is causing us both to go over the edge. I reach out for her hand that I see is diving for mines. The blood on the horn allows me to slide and reach her hand just as my body goes over the edge. I can feel Cato's hand on sliding down my legs and my calf and finally let go. Guess the blood dripping from the calf helped save me, by almost killing me.

She pulls me up and I am finally able to hold her. In the background all I can hear is the growls and the screams of Cato. The slicing of a knife bang on the Cornucopia, you can tell that Cato is not going down without a fight. The sound of the growls move from the side of the Cornucopia to the back of the horn to the tail to try and save his own life by climbing back onto the top, but at end you can hear the mutts overpower him, and the gurgling sounds of blood.

The dragging sound is undeniable. They are taking him somewhere. It is then that I realize that the mutts have taken him inside the horn to finish him off.

I try to slow down the flow of blood from my calf. If I can just last until they take Cato's body, I know that the Capitol will be able to fix me up.

The anthem plays and I sit there on the horn, trying to not think about the moans that I hear, or the fact that I am bleeding to death. Katniss comes over and sees that the blood is not slowing down. I see her rip off her shirt and zip on the jacket.

"Lay down Peeta, so I can see how bad it is," she tells me.

"It isn't that bad, I am a little cold though, but that is just the air," I say slowly. I see her doing something with the shirt, but too weak to sit up to see.

"Hey Katniss, is it ok that I take a little nap?" I ask her.

"Don't go to sleep," she tells me.

I can see that she is shivering

"Are you cold?" I ask.

I unzip my jack and she presses her body against mines. I can feel her so close and yet I can't hear her heart beat. I try to swallow but it is hard to do so. I can feel her body shaking though. When I realize that isn't her body it is mines.

"Cato may win this thing yet," she whispers.

"Don't you believe it," I tell her, pulling up her hood. She has to make it even if it is the last thing I do. It is ok though, to go. I have her around my arms, and although I can't feel her heartbeat, I know it's there.

After a couple of hours, the moaning, and begging from Cato is too much, they are just playing with him. It confirms that the tributes were changed into the mutts; why else would they toy with him, if not out of revenge.

"Why don't they just kill him?" She asks me.

"You know why," I tell her, and pull her in closer.

My eyes close for a moment, until I hear her.

"Peeta! Keep your eyes open." She tells me.

"Don't worry, I am not trying to die," I tell her, referencing to the Goat.

"You cost me much too much to go and die now," she tells me.

"So I was the goat in the story," I say. "That's nice."

"Peeta! Stay with me, hold on for a little bit longer." She says.

"Look at the moon," I tell her. "It's moving."

"Yes Peeta, tell me about the moon. Tell me about the stars, just keep talking." She says.

"Well don't know much about the stars, or the moon, but I know this one is moving." I say with a slur speech.

"Tell me about your father again," she asks.

"My father? What does my father have to do with the moon. Katniss you are not making sense." I say. "How about for a little bit, if I can just rest my eyes?"

"No Peeta! You have to keep awake." She tells me.

"Well it was my turn to sleep, remember? You slept the whole day in the cave. So if we are keeping score it is my turn." He tells me.

"In the Capitol Peeta! You will get to sleep all you want in the Capitol." She says.

"Will you be there with me?" I ask.

"Yes, yes of course I will be there with you." She says.

"Hmm, that's nice. Is the Sun coming up?" I ask her.

"Hmm?" She lifts her head and says "Yes it is."

"I think he's closer now. Katniss can you shoot him?" I ask her.

"My last arrow's in the tourniquet," she says.

"Make it count," I tell her.

I unzip my jacket and she slowly removes the tourniquet. I can feel nothing, which is never a good sign. I see her crawling towards the mouth of the horn. I grab onto her belt for support. She hangs below, and in a couple of seconds I pull her back up.

"Did you get him?" I ask.

Just then the cannon fires and I know that it is finally over. The nightmare of these Games is over. I can finally let myself think of home.

"Then we won, Katniss." I tell her.

"Hurray for us," she says in a non-cheerful manner.

Odd, no hovercraft.

"Hey! What's going on?" She says to the air.

"Maybe it's the body. Maybe we have to move away from it," I tell her.

"Okay. Think you could make it to the lake?" She asks me.

"Think I better try," I tell her, cracking a smile.

I inch towards the tail and slowly let myself fall to the ground. I make an effort to land on my good leg. She places her arm underneath mines and lifts me up. I put all my weight on my good leg and we inch our way to the lake.

We lay down on the side of the lake. Katniss gives me a little bit of water. Finally I grab her hand and point up. The most beautiful sight I had ever seen. The hovercraft just appears and takes Cato's body away.

"What are they waiting for?" I ask her.

"I don't know." She says. "I found another arrow Peeta, I will put back your tourniquet."

Just then a voice booms throughout the arena. Finally they will announce us as winners and we can finally go home.

"Greetings to the final contestants of the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games. The earlier revision has been revoked. Closer examination of the rule book has disclosed that only one winner may be allowed. Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor."

She looks at me dead in the eyes, as the truth finally sinks in. It was always going to end this way. The final piece of the Games. This was their end game. I won't do it. She will have to end it.

"If you think about it, it's not surprising," I tell her. I slowly get up to my feet. I won't do it. I go to grab me knife, turn and toss it to the lake. As I turn back to Katniss, I can see the bow loaded with the arrow pointed straight at me.

She lowers her bow to the ground.

"No, do it." I tell her. I pick up the bow and put it back in her hands.

"I can't. I won't" she says.

"Do it. Before they send those mutts back or something. I don't want to die like Cato," I tell her.

"Then you shoot me," she says placing the weapons in my hands. "You shoot me and go home and live with it!"

"Fine, I'll go first anyways." I say, and rip off the bandage. I have lost enough blood anyways, probably won't take long to die this way anyways.

"No, you can't kill yourself," Katniss says on her knees putting on the bandage again.

"Katniss, it's what I want." I tell her.

"You're not leaving me here alone," she tells me.

"Listen, we both know they have to have a victor. It can only be one of us. Please take it. For me." I tell her.

"This has truly been a dream come true, to be here with you. Ever since I saw you, I knew that I loved you. Even if it was just for a couple of days, I am happy with the time we had together. If you go and die, it is like a dream has died in my heart. Don't you realize how much you mean to me?"

I see her make for the pouch with the nightlock. I quickly grab her wrist. "No, I won't let you."

"Trust me," she whispers.

I look at her eyes and find that she is not lying. I do trust her, with my life. I let go of her wrists.

She pours a couple of berries in my palm and then places the rest in hers.

"On the count of three?" she says.

I look at her, close my eyes, take a deep breath, lean in and kiss her, for the last time.

"The count of three," I tell her. "Hold them out. I want everyone to see."

She squeezes my hand goodbye. "One,…Two…Three" We both lift our hands to our mouth. I close my eyes and feel her hand. There. There it is, I can feel her heartbeat. Just as the berries touch our lips, the trumpets begin to blast.

"Stop! Stop! Ladies and gentleman, I am pleased to present the victors of the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark! I give you – the tributes of District Twelve!"


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty Nine

It was only a couple of weeks ago, we were strangers. We knew the basics about each other, but we didn't know each other. We were taught, to assume because of a place where you live, is how a person is. It is only a couple of weeks ago, and now today, we are victors.

I pull her by the hand to the lake.

"You didn't swallow any?" she asks me

I shake my head no. "You?"

"Guess I'd be dead by now if I did," she says.

We flush our mouths out with water. Making sure that our hands are clean of the berries, we wash our hands feverishly.

"Are you ok?" I ask her.

She can't hear me because of the crowd's cheering through the speakers.

She points to her ear and nods no.

I lean in, and tell her in her ear. "Thank you for coming to find me. For before today, I was lost."

The hovercraft appears before us, and two ladders come down. Katniss helps me to the ladder. The electric current freezes us and I can still feel her hand on my arm. The hovercraft lifts to the air, and the sudden rush of the change in altitude, that with the lost of blood, and I am almost losing conscience.

The whole forest starts to spin and I know that soon enough it won't matter, if the blood isn't stopped. The door closes and everything goes dark.

Flashes, of light come in and out.

"He has lost a lot of blood."

Darkness again.

Can feel the wind, and someone banging.

The next hours, or maybe days, I don't know.

I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling, at the white clean ceiling. Can't move, or feel anything. Almost like I am trapped in my own body, it is a horrible feeling. I can hear someone approaching me. Someone in a white coat leans in to my field of vision.

"Sleep Peeta, your body needs to recover and adjust to the treatment." He says.

He turns to someone, "adjust his meds, I need him out."

Suddenly without notice I feel cold in my arms, and my eyes closes without strength. There are no thoughts, they are no dreams, and nothing comes from being asleep. It makes no sense, but it is like I can hear, but my mind doesn't register what the words are. It is like they are speaking in another language.

How many hours have passed, I don't know. There it is again, the same ceiling. This time I can feel my fingers, and my hands. I can feel my feet although something is off. I try to wiggle my toes and yet I know I am doing it, but it feels different.

I hear the foot steps and see it is the same person in the white coat.

"Peeta, can you hear me." He asks.

"Yes, I can hear you. Where is Katniss? Is she ok?" I ask.

"Yes, Peeta, she is fine. How are you feeling?" He asks.

"Like I fell out of the Training Center from the top floor." I say.

"Okay, Peeta, one more time." He says. "Nurse, last treatment, let's start with LX987."

The rush of heat goes through my legs. The sensation is the first, but if you could think of someone burning your feet, it is the same sensation, but all over.

It only takes a couple of seconds but my eyes close and this time I am dreaming of home. Just think, I get to see everyone soon, and even welcoming the stale bread.

I feel a hand caress my hand. I feel peace, it has to be Katniss. I open my eyes, and see that it isn't Katniss, but Portia. She smiles.

"Just know that I had no say in what you are wearing." She says.

"Well I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing." I say with a smile. "Is she ok?"

"Yes, Peeta, she is ok. She asked about you." She says.

"When can I see her?" I ask.

"Soon. But Peeta we have to talk about something first." She says. "The doctors worked for hours and they did their best, but they were unsuccessful."

"Unsuccessful?" I ask sitting up.

That is when I see the blanket and can see my right foot, but not my left.

"Peeta, they couldn't save your leg." She says. "I am sorry."

I remove the blanket to see that my left leg had been cut off right below the knee.

"I can still feel it. How is that possible?" I ask.

"The doctors call it a ghost sensation." She says. "Are you ok?"

I shake my head yes. "Can I be alone?" I ask her.

"Of course Peeta," she says.

It feels like it is right there. I can see the prosthetic leg there on my left next to the bed. Well just one more thing I guess. I scoot over to the artificial leg, and feel it. The Capitol sure knows how to make them, it feel remarkably like the real thing.

I slip it on and steady myself before standing. I close my eyes; pretend I am back at home, like that morning of the reaping. I place my feet on the ground, and instead of the warm wooden floor, I feel the cool marble flooring on my right foot.

You can do this. You can master this. I my weight on the right and move the left leg forward. It takes me a while but after finding out how to move around, I can almost master walking. I think to myself if I have to run, I am goner. I limp forward to the door, and find that Haymitch is sitting on a sofa right outside my room.

"They wanted to give you a cane. Said that you would need it." He says. "I told them, he will do just fine without it, probably end up using it as a weapon."

I walk towards him and without warning, strike him across his face.

"That's for leaving me to die in the stream, when Katniss needed me."

He massages his chin. "Don't think that just because you are a cripple that I won't hit you." He says smiling. "In fact…"

He makes a movement to start to swing, when I move to the left and dodge the fist. Too late for the right though, and he hits dead center.

Before long, the doctors are out holding both me and Haymitch, before we start laughing.

"You would have to work on protecting your right. The leg has now become your tell. You can't guard with always on your left, you have to learn to adapt to your right." He tells me.

"When would I need to learn how to fight, not that many Careers in District 12." I tell him.

"Well that little woman of yours is a fiery one. She cracked two protective glasses one in the hovercraft when they were trying to save you and the other in the training center when they were transporting you." He says. "It was easy to sell the star cross lovers when one is really in love."

"Wasn't a game for either of us in the arena," I tell him. "Just remember that passion sometimes has a funny way of showing itself."

Odd. Almost like Haymitch is talking in code.

"So when can I see her." I ask him.

"Soon kid, they want to do it in a reunion show. It is the first time that the Games have a love story. The Capitol wants to capitalize on that." He says.

"Portia and your prep team are waiting for you in the other room." He says.

I walk towards the next room and find myself going to the right more than to the left. I look down at a straight line, and force myself to walk in a straight line until the door. The door slides open and I see that Portia welcomes me with arms opened.

"Come, Peeta let's eat." She says.

We walk towards the dining room where a meal has been prepared for me. The portions however have been measured.

"Your body has to get re-acquainted with regular food, so we cannot give too much because then you will return the favor a little bit later and we wouldn't want it on national television." She tells me.

"Well don't you worry Portia, I spent days without eating, and so eating smaller portions are not an issue with me." I tell her.

Once finished we go to the changing room where an outfit is laid out for me.

It is a simple yellow with long black pants and boots. Nothing too flashy and nothing too plain, but it has the hint of our District.

My District. It is the first time I think about Home and it feels as real as the clothes I am now wearing. I wonder if my father is celebrating me coming home. The first thing I know I will do when I get home is finally hug my Father, and ask him how I did, and of course introduce him to the little girl with the red plaid dress, although he already knows who she is.

Finally move my entire family out of our little house, although the bakery would still be run by my father. We wouldn't need for money ever again. He can run the bakery because he wants to and the way he wants to. Who knows probably I will take up painting or learn to hunt from a new neighbor?

Portia walks out and comes back with a box. Is it flowers?

"What's this?" I tell her. "You really shouldn't have gotten me anything, it is you who I should be thanking."

"I know that you don't want to think about it Peeta, but until your right leg gets strong enough you would need to walk with this." She says, handing me a cane.

"So a cripple huh?" I say looking at the cane in my hands.

"No, a hero." She says. "You saved her, you sacrificed for her. This is your badge of honor Peeta. We don't see a cripple, we see a hero."

They all nod in agreement. My prep team, they are always there to build me up even when I don't deserve it.

"Okay, just until my leg gets strong enough," I tell them.

"Have you seen her?" I ask Portia.

"No, but Cinna tells me that she is anxious to see you." She tells me.

"So how do I look?" I say.

"You look very handsome," She says.

We walk towards the elevator to the level where we trained for the Games. The thought of the place changing into a celebration leaves me a little uneasy. "Just remember Peeta, it is just you and her, forget the cameras. It is just and her, in the cave." She says.

What was all that about. She has never given me advice.

"Thank you Portia." I tell her.

"Well we are off to get ready. You stand there on the plate here and wait." She tells me.

"If I step off the plate, nothing will happen no?" I ask her with a smile.

"No, nothing will happen, but you might not get to see who is behind this wall." She says pointing at the new makeshift wall.

Just to think behind that wall probably thirty feet away is the girl with braid, those beautiful grey eyes. I look down and see the cane. What would she think of when she realizes that she couldn't save my leg?

I can hear the roar of the crowd above us. The platform that I am to stand on is below the stage of where we had our interviews. First our Stylists and then our prep teams, and finally us.

I straighten my shirt and tug on my pants. The moment is almost there and I feel a little bit nervous. Not really because of the post Games interview, but because this would be the first time where we are outside the Games.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

The anthem blares through the speakers. Any moment the platform will start to lift and the countdown will begin. It feels like we are still in the Games, the same tension is in the air. It could be just nerves, or probably my mind is still trapped in the arena.

I can hear Caesar begin warming up the crowd. I wonder if we would be friends if we lived in the Capitol, he seems so personable. I can hear him presenting both of our prep teams. Then I hear him introduce Effie Trinket. Bet she must be so proud that her District won this year. Our stylists are announced and the crowd goes a little louder. They have done so much for me that I don't know if I could ever repay them.

Our mentor is announced and it seems that the whole crowd starts to stomp the ground as some sort of cheer. I wonder if Haymitch is sober enough for the event. I only got to see him a couple of hours ago, and he was relatively sober, but knowing Haymitch he probably drank a couple more before then. I think that if they would be able to set up a line of alcohol directly into his veins he would be a happy person. Probably it is his way to escape what he had to go through in the Hunger Games. There are some areas in the Games that I would like to forget, and some I wish I could relive.

The small circular platform begins to lift and I can tell that we are about to be announced. The crowd begins to cheer and it is louder than I could imagine. I have to put up my hand to my eyes to try and shield the blinding lights and the flashes of the camera taking pictures. I look over to the right and see Katniss there with her hands on her dress. She just looks so, mesmerizing, even the crowd cheers goes silent as I am just lost for a moment. It is a beautiful simple yellow dress with sandals.

She smiles and walks over to me and just flings herself. I catch her and almost fall back. I kiss her over and over, wishing that this would last forever. Does she know how much she means to me? Caesar comes and taps me on the shoulder. I just push him away. I haven't seen her, and I haven't held her in a while and it feels like forever. My arms are so accustomed to her embrace that it is like a puzzle. They are so soft and so gentle; her kiss is delicate and lightly touches my lips.

Someone clears their throat and says. "You will have plenty of time for that later, especially behind closed doors."

We separate and I lightly touch her cheek.

"Hey, miss me much?" I tell her.

She smiles.

We walk towards the couch that sits next to Caesar's chair.

Katniss sits right next me, removes her sandals and leans her head on my shoulder. It reminds me of our times in our home in the cave. I place my arm around her shoulder and grab her hand interweaving our fingers. She sighs and I smile.

Caesar just looks at us.

"Comfortable?" He asks.

"Very, I feel like I am home right now." I tell him.

"No fire right? Your outfits will not just burst into fire?" He asks.

"No, that would be for later," I say with a smile.

Katniss begins to blush and I can feel her thumb stroke the inside of my palm.

"Well, let start the show shall we? Katniss and Peeta and everyone back home, here is the 74th Hunger Games. For the first time it is a…a love story."

The lights go dim and the screen to our left begins to count down.

The words "the beginning," flashes in front of us. They show the reaping and Katniss volunteering for her sister Prim. Then our chariot ride through the Capitol on fire. The training scores show on the screen, and then our one on one interviews. The screen goes dark and then the words "the games," flash.

I can feel Katniss hand tightens around mines. I gently whisper, it is ok, and kiss her on top of her head. The grip slowly relaxes and then we see the killings of the Cornucopia at the beginning of the Games.

They show my name on the next part of the show. It opens with me telling the Careers that I could find her. Leading them down paths that she had clearly not gone, mislead them the whole time as to give Katniss enough time to have her get away. She looks up at me, and I look down at her.

They show how I fought Cato to let her escape; getting slashed in the leg which Katniss closes her eyes and buries her face in my shirt.

The song goes from upbeat to somber. The camera follows me through the forest bleeding and finally collapsing in the stream. They show the times in the stream when I whispered Katniss name. I have to fight back the tears. That was the night I thought I was going to die and was saying goodbye to Katniss. It goes black.

Katniss's name comes on. It opens with a fireball being blasted and her dodging to save herself. Being burned by one of the blasts and climbing the tree where the trackerjackers was. It shows her blowing up the supplies and her looking for Rue. I can feel that Katniss's heartbeat is getting faster and faster when I rub her other arm with my hand.

They show the death of Rue, the little girl from District Eleven. How Katniss tried to save her, but failed. Killing Marvel and holding Rue in her arms as she died. The song that Katniss sang, runs a chill down my spine, it is filled with emotions and pain. I want to hold her and tell it that it is ok. It fades out.

"The Rule Change" flashes and I see Katniss up in a tree, hearing the announcement that two tributes from the same district can live and immediate see that Katniss shouts out my name. I smile.

The film shows Katniss looking for me, find me, and nursing me back to health. It shows her going to the feast for the medicine and the almost being killed by Clove. She looks up and can see my face is filled with worry. I could have lost her. I look down and she mouths the words, "its ok. I am ok."

It cuts quickly to the battle with Cato at the top of the horn, and Katniss's arrow hitting Cato in the hand. They show his death and how gruesome it was.

It goes dark and then we see the berries in each of our hands. Everyone in the audience quiets down. The movie then cuts slowly to the shot of Katniss pounding on the glass of the hovercraft, screaming my name, as the team of doctors' work on keeping me alive.

The words of Haymitch come through my mind. "She crack two glass doors trying to reach you,"

It then ends and the seal is the last thing we see. The lights come and the anthem plays. We both rise and see that President Snow comes onto the stage, followed by a little girl carrying a crown. President Snow picks up the crown and twists it. It separates and becomes two halves. He places one of the halves on my head and the other on Katniss's head.

The crowd cheers and we wave to the people. The show ends with Caesar saying goodbye and to stay tune to the final interviews.

Effie and Haymitch quickly grab us and we are taken to the reception at the President's mansion. We get to meet many of the Gamemakers and especially our sponsors. We thank them profusely for believing in us, they take pictures with us. They would tell other that they were the real reason why we survived. Leave it to the people from the Capitol to take credit for us winning. Although many of the gifts that was given was given at crucial points, those decisions didn't come from them, it came from our mentor, he was the one who decided what to give and when, they were just responsible for paying for it.

We spend hours talking to people that we have never met and all I want to do is spend a couple of minutes alone with Katniss. The sun is finally setting and I can see that the reception is finally dying down.

"Well it is time to say goodbye," Effie tells us.

"We have to say goodbye to everyone?" I ask her.

"It is bad manners if you don't," She says.

"Do we have to say goodbye to President Snow?" Katniss asks.

"No, but we have sent the proper arrangements thanking him for having us in his home." She says.

After another hour or so of saying goodbye we can finally retreat to the Training Center. We get into the elevator and find that Katniss and Haymitch go in a different elevator. Portia accompanies me into the elevator.

"Can I speak with her?" I ask.

"Peeta, it has been a long day. Haymitch told me that she is tired." Portia tells me.

"Okay," I tell her disappointed.

"We are going to go over your outfit for your interview, so it will not be all bad." She says smiling.

We come into my room and I can see the red shirt and off white color pants. Interesting choice of color, this is the first time that we have such bright colors without it bursting into flames.

"This doesn't do anything but be clothes?" I ask her.

"Peeta, you know that if it were to do anything then we would tell you," she says. "How are you by the way?"

"Hanging in there, this thing I have on, is going to take time getting use to." I tell her.

"Well get some sleep, it is almost over and then things can finally calm down." She tells me.

She leaves and for the first time since the stream in the arena, I am alone. It is a sensation that I cannot get use to. The silence, it feels almost too real. It feels too much like the stream, when I was going to die. Was this all a dream, am I still there. Can it be the Gamemakers fooling with my mind? I start to pace slowly back and forth.

"I can't take it… I can't take it… it is too quiet" I say over and over slowly.

I slump down to the floor and begin to rock back and forth.

"It is a trick, it is all a trick. I can't." I mutter.

"Close my eyes. Probably it will be just a dream."

After a couple of hours, my body just can't take anymore and gives into sleep.

Slowly the sunlight comes into the room, and I can feel the warmth of it. I open my eyes and feel the hard floor.

I lift my pajama pants to see the artificial leg. Guess it wasn't a dream, the Games are finally over. I walk over to the door and it slides open.

I walk over to the dining room and find Portia and Haymitch eating breakfast.

"How did you sleep?" Portia asks.

"Sleep? What is that?" I say.

"It gets better with time," Haymitch says somberly.

"Does it ever get back to normal," I ask.

"This is as normal as you are going to get." He tells me. He takes out his shiny flask from his pocket and pours a little liquid in the coffee.

"Great, something to look forward to," I tell him.

We eat in silence and when done. Portia asks if I was ready to get prepared for the interview.

I nod and retreat to the room.

When we come into the room, Portia places a hand on my shoulder and says "Peeta, it does get better. You have to remind yourself who you were before and hold onto that."

"One day at a time?" I ask.

She nods.

"Well, let's get you dressed the interview is in a couple of minutes. It will happen in the sitting room. It is just Caesar and some cameras, no audience" She says.

Relief comes over me and I sigh deeply before smiling.

"Let's get those deep sleepless rings from your eyes." She says, as she applies makeup to my eyes, removing the signs that I had not slept in a while.

I slip on the shirt and pants and put on the shoes before I give Portia a hug, and tell her thanks for everything.

I walk towards the sitting room and find that Katniss is already there with Caesar. She is wearing a white color dress and some pink shoes, looking as delicate as she is in my eyes. Not the hunter in the arena but the delicate girl in the cave, asking to go home.

"Good morning Caesar, May I steal Katniss away for a moment?" I ask.

"But of course, Peeta." He says.

I grab Katniss hand and move her to the hallway.

"I hardly get to see you. Haymitch seems bent on keeping us apart." I tell her.

"Yes, he's gotten very responsible lately," she says.

"Well, there's just this and we go home. Then he can't watch us all the time," I tell her.

"We are ready to begin," Caesar says.

We sit on the love seat.

"Oh, go ahead and curl up next to him if you want. It looked very sweet," he says.

Katniss curls up her feet and lies on my shoulder as I pull her close to me.

The interview begins like always.

"So Peeta, tell me how are you doing?"

"Well still can't find the manual on the shower, so I just grab some water in a pot and place it over me." I say.

He laughs and we continue on just talking about the weather and about how the food tastes a lot better than it did in the Games.

We come to the point where Caesar starts to ask questions that require a little bit more than just a short response.

"Well, Peeta, we know, from our days in the cave, that it was love at first sight for you from what, age five?" Caesar says.

I correct him, "from the moment I laid eyes on her."

He looks to Katniss and says.

"But, Katniss, what a ride for you. I think the real excitement for the audience was watching you fall for him. When did you realize you were in love with him?" He asks her.

"Oh, that's a hard one…" she begins to say.

"Well, I know when it hit me. The night when you should out his name from that tree," Caesar interrupts.

"Yes, I guess that was it. I mean, until that point, I just tried not to think about what my feelings might be, honestly, because it was so confusing and it only make things worse if I actually cared about him. But then, in the tree, everything changed," she says.

"Why do you think that was?" He asks.

"Maybe…because for the first time…there was a chance I could keep him," she says.

I press my head against her ear and say

"So now that you've got me, what are you going to do with me?"

She turns to me, eyes full of joy and smiles.

"Put you somewhere you can't get hurt."

I give her a little kiss. Such a sweet girl, that I have fallen in love with. I don't know if this is a dream but if it is, please don't wake me up.

"Well Peeta, how is the new leg working out?" Caesar asks me.

"New leg?" Katniss says looking back at me. Looking for the truth in my eyes. I just look down. She quickly pulls up the bottom of my pant's and here it softly come from her lips.

"On, no," she says.

"No one told you?" Caesar asks her.

She shakes her head no.

"I haven't had the chance," I tell Caesar and look down to Katniss.

"It's my fault," she says. "Because I used that tourniquet."

"Yes, it's your fault I'm alive," I tell her, rubbing her hands letting her know that it is okay.

"He's right," Caesar says. "He'd have bled to death for sure without it."

Without a word, Katniss just buries her face in my shirt. I run my hands through her hair, telling her that it is ok. Reassuring her that I was okay. That I am alive and that is all that matters. Finally she pulls away from my shirt and find that her eyes are about to shed a tear. I move my thumb up to her eyes and gently remove it from her eyes.

"I am okay." I tell her. It is then that I hear a throat clearing from Haymitch. We had forgotten that we were live on camera to all of Panem.

"Well it seems like you are adjusting, Peeta?" Caesar continues.

"Yes, it is taking a little bit of work but soon enough you will see me out there running again. The most graceful person hobbling along." I say with a smile. "Can't be better than my running away from the mutts."

Caesar laughs and agrees that I am not that graceful.

"Katniss, I know you've had a shock, but I've got to ask. The moment when you pulled out those berries. What was going on your mind…hmm?" he asks.

There is a long pause because Katniss responds.

"I don't know, I just…couldn't bear the thought of…being without him."

"Peeta? Anything to add?" asks Caesar.

"No. I think that goes for both of us." I tell him.

Caesar signs off and then the red light on the camera turns off. I get up and shake Caesar's hand, and thank him for his time. He tells me it was pleasure meeting me and that if I am ever in the Capitol to look him up.

We walk away to our rooms to collect our things to get ready for the train ride home.

"Collect my things?" I ask Haymitch. "There is nothing here to collect that is mine."

"Well then just wait here while we wait for Katniss." He tells me.

We go down the elevator together, not saying a word between each other. The car is waiting for us in the bottom of the Training Center.

It is just a couple of minutes before we reach the train station. We say our goodbyes to Cinna and Portia get on the train and for the first time I hope that I don't get to see the Capitol for a long while.

Portia and Cinna will be coming in a few months for the tour of the districts, but that is a far away and I can't help but want to get back to the normality of our lives in District Twelve.

We are on the train before you can blink and have started our way back to our home. Halfway, the train stops for fuel and we are allowed to go outside for some fresh air.

We talk down the track hand in hand. I stop and see wildflowers growing on the side of the train. I grab them and hand them to Katniss.

It takes her a while to take the flowers.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing," she says, looking away. She is hiding something from me. After all we have been through, I don't understand why. We continue walking down the tracks when all of the sudden Haymitch is there.

"Great job, you two. Just keep it up in the district until the cameras are gone. We should be okay." He says walking by me like I wasn't there.

"What's he mean?" I ask Katniss.

"It's the Capitol. They didn't like our stunt with the berries," she says quickly.

"What? What are you talking about?" I tell her.

"It seemed too rebellious. So, Haymitch has been coaching me through the last few days. So I didn't make it worse," she says.

"Coaching you? But not me." I tell her.

"He knew you were smart enough to get it right," she tells me.

"I didn't know there was anything to get right," I tell her. "So, what you're saying is, these last few days and then I guess…back in the arena…that was just some strategy you two worked out."

"No, I mean. I couldn't even talk to him in the arena, could I?" she says.

"But you knew what he wanted you to do, didn't you?" I tell her. "Katniss?"

It was all a lie. Everything in the cave. Everything after that. She didn't care about me; she was just using me to survive. I understand that, but now, even now, she continues to treat me like I am just some pawn. Like the Capitol.

"It was all for the Games," I say. "How you acted."

"Not all of it," She says.

"Then how much? No, forget it. I guess the real question is what's gong to be left when we get home?" I tell her.

"I don't know. The closer we get to District Twelve, the more confused I get," she says.

Confused? About what? Either you feel it or don't. There is no grey area. My heart cannot just say I do then I don't, or maybe I do or maybe I don't. I cannot tell my lungs to maybe breath.

"Well, let me know when you work it out," I tell her.

I walk back to the train, thinking about all that I allowed myself to accept. I should have never let her into my heart. She used it, she used me.

I walk into my room past Haymitch who is there in the doorway. I look at him straight in his eyes, and tell him.

"Here you have it, the fool."

I walk away from him and from everyone in the train. I go into my room and lock the door. The train slowly pulls out and as I look outside the window it hits me. I left my heart there.

From that moment until we reached the train station in District Twelve, I just let it all slip away. It is better to feel nothing than to feel pain.

I walk outside of my room as the train pulls into the station. I see her at the door waiting for me. Waiting for the cameras.

I nod and stand next to her. The door is about to open when I reach out my hand. She looks down at it, and I tell her.

"One more time? For the audience?"

The door opens and we walk out.

The fool, still in love with the girl from the Seam.

* * *

END OF BOOK ONE

Thank you to all who have journey with me through the life of Peeta. Writing this has allowed me to experience his life through my eyes, and I hope that I was able to show you that through the writings.

As always thank you.

E.W.S.


End file.
